Return of the White Mask
by gothina234
Summary: Sequel to 'The Puzzle man' - Please read before reading this. Jay Henson has escaped prison and is intent of getting Reid back. Reid has escaped from the mental hospital and from Jay. Reid is running. His trust in the team is cracked. Who will he turn to?
1. Chapter 1

**Hey everyone! See I never keep you waiting long do I. **

**Okay so for those who have been following 'The Puzzle Man' I hope you enjoy this installment and I hope you enjoy this opening chapter. **

**Namira, I am sorry but Eric is going to be around for a few chapters but not that many I promise. **

**For those who are new to this I redirect your attention to the last two installments. To understand this you will need to read 'Hangman' first, then read 'The Puzzle Man' and this should make sense. **

**Enjoy and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt his lungs burn as he continued to run. He was clenching his jaw as he ignored the pain in his leg. Reid's body betrayed him as his legs began to slow down. Reid stood for a moment before collapsing onto the ground as the adrenaline began with wither. Eric collapsed next to Reid and panted for breath, Reid knew that they had to stop and rest for a few minutes, he didn't even know how long they had been running for. All Reid knew was that getting out of the mental hospital was the only option. The pain in his leg was bearable, he would rather have the pain than fall victim to Jay Henson again. They had made it to the basment in the hospital and climbed through the window. Reid had practically pulled Eric towards the woods nearby.

"Are you..okay Dr Reid," Eric said as he tried to regain his breath.

"I-I'm okay, w-we need to k-keep going. W-we need to g-get to a pay phone," Reid said before taking a deep breath in to try and soothe the fire in his lungs.

"I can't believe we did that. Michael just stormed into my room and hit. Why did he want you?" Eric panicked slightly before he began tapping his knee repeatedly.

"A-A very bad man i-is after m-me and Micheal was g-going to take me back to h-him. I-I can't go back to him, I can't go through that a-again," Reid said fearfully. Reid knew he couldn't go through torture again. Reid looked to his disfigured hand, he ran his fingers over the spot where his little finger used to be. Reid remembered how he had screamed when Jay had sliced his little finger off with a cigar cutter, he remembered seeing his little finger dropped next to his head. Reid brought himself back from the memories to see Eric staring at him with wide eyes.

"I always noticed that but I never said anything. How did it happen?" Eric asked as he pointed to the space where Reid's finger used to be. Reid quickly pulled his jacket sleeve over his hand and got to his feet.

"I d-don't want t-to talk about it," Reid snapped before he looked around.

"I'm sorry," Eric apologised. "I didn't mean to offend you."

Reid felt guilty as he realised he had hurt Eric's feelings.

"I'm sorry Eric. I-Its j-just hard to t-talk about some of the th-things in my past. Come on, I-I know w-which way we have t-to go."

Reid was happy that he had an eidetic memory at that moment. He has memorised most maps to do with this area. He guessed that they would hit a payphone within the next two miles. All Reid knew was that they had to stay off the main rooms and out of sight of the police. Reid knew that it was probable that his escape had been discovered and alerts had now been put up. Reid just needed to call the one person he hoped he could trust.

He knew he needed to call Gideon.

**BAU**

Garcia started to lose her breath as she ran up the bullpen stairs and into Hotch's office. The team had arrived back late from a case and were about to leave. Garcia ran into Hotch's office to discover Rossi and Hotch to give her confused looks. They both knew that something was wrong by the look in her eyes.

"Garcia, what's wrong?" Rossi questioned.

"He's gone, he is just gone!" Garcia panicked.

"Who is?" Hotch asked.

"Reid!" Garcia shouted slightly. "I just recieved a call. He escaped with another patient, they found one of the guards on the floor with a bloody nose in his room and Reid was missing. They don't know how long he has been gone for and they still haven't found him."

"That place is supposed to keep him safe and they lost him. I knew that place was wrong!" Hotch said angrily as he picked up his office phone and dialled the hospital. Rossi walked over to Garcia and gave her a small hug to calm her. He could she was in between anger and panic with her emotions. Rossi and Garcia withdrew from the hug and jumped when they heard Hotch shouting down the phone. Rossi guided Garcia out of the office, he noticed that the rest of the team had come over.

"Garcia, do they know how he got out?" Rossi asked her.

"They searched around and found a window had been opened in the basement. Rossi, he could be anywhere right now. Anything could happen to him. We need to find him," Garcia sighed in fustration.

"What's going on?" Morgan asked as he walked over with Emily. JJ was still in her cubicle on the phone.

"Reid is missing from the hospital, they think he escaped with another patient," Rossi told Morgan.

"What?" Morgan shouted causing Garcia to jump. "That place is supposed to be secure. Do they know where he may have gone?"

JJ suddenly slammed the phone down angrily and ran over to the group.

"JJ, what's wrong?" Emily asked.

"Jay Henson escaped prison last night. They just called and told me after they failed to find him. Do you think that he is going try and take Reid from the hospital?" JJ asked as she tried to ignore the growing worry in her heart as she thought about Reid.

"JJ, Reid went missing from the hospital last night. This is not good," Rossi said.

"We need to find him. Reid is out there, we have no idea of his mental state at the moment and Jay Henson, the man that almost killed him is out and after him. We need to move now," Morgan said desperately, all he wanted was to make sure that Reid was alright. He flinched slightly as an image of Reid laying dead in a ditch covered in blood came into his mind.

_'Please be alright Reid_' Morgan thought.

**Reid**

Reid stopped dead when he saw the object of his desire, he let out a small breath of relief when he saw a payphone in front of him. It was still late in the night and Reid couldn't see anyone nearby. Eric stumbled slightly behind Reid before he came to stand at Reid's side.

"Eric, s-stay here. I-I'm going to go m-make a call, if anyone c-comes you need t-to stay hidden. I will be r-right back," Reid told Eric. Eric looked worried for a moment before he nodded. Reid watched as Eric sat against a tree and started tapping his knee nervously.

Reid took one more look around before he walked over to the payphone. Reid picked up the handset and felt a rush of joy when he heard a dial tone. Reid dialled for the operator and asked to make a collect call to Gideon. Reid awaited nervously for a time before he heard Gideon's voice.

"Hello," Reid heard Gideon yawn down the phone.

"G-Gideon, I-I need your h-help."

**I hope that was okay. Please review, I would love to know what you think of this opening chapter. **

**Also I have to ask those who have been reading the last two installments. Why do you like it? I have to ask as I am shocked by how many people read. I'm thrilled but also intrigued.**

**Please review**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey everyone!**

**Firstly, I am so ultra, uber, fantastic happy at the response I have gotten for this fanfic. I am so happy that I could run down the road screaming with happiness. Thank you so much for the reviews, faves and alerts. They were all amazing and I want to thank you all for answering my question. **

**I tend to think my writing is not good but after reading some of the reviews my spirits are up in the sky. **

**To answer some questions**

**- I am able to write so often for this as my favourite thing to do is the world is write and I just love doing it. Once I have finished one chapter I'm already planning the next one. **

**- This fanfic is going to feature Reid whump but I am making Reid a bit more fierce in this. He has been through a lot and he is going to be fighting back. **

**- The criminal writers need to focus on Reid more, it is frustrating me like crazy**

**Enjoy this chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Oh and I do not own criminal minds, CBS does.**

Reid could feel his hand shaking as he held the payphone, he kept looking around himself. He was afraid of being dragged back to the hospital and confined. He knew that if he was at least outside he could evade Jay. Reid also knew that if he was caught and taken back to the hospital they would force him to take medication that would turn him into a drooling mess. Reid refused to let that happen. He felt his heart jump when he heard Gideon start talking to him.

"Reid!" Gideon said down the phone. "What's wrong? Are you okay? I haven't heard from you in a while. Is there anything that you need?"

Reid could hear Gideon's tone of surprise and worry. He felt slightly guilty for causing Gideon to feel that way. Reid took a deep breath as he thought about what he was going to say.

"I-I need your h-help. I need you t-to come and pick m-me up but you can't t-tell the team. I'll explain when y-you get here but y-you need to promise me that y-you won't call anyone. Y-you need to promise m-me that you won't call the team," Reid begged Gideon. Reid relaxed his grip on the payphone as he realised how scared he was. To Reid at that moment, the payphone was the one thing keeping him calm at the moment. At that moment, the payphone was the only connection to the person who could help him.

"Where are you Reid? I'll come right away, just tell me where you are," Gideon said calmly down the phone. Reid could hear rustling and banging from the phone. Reid smiled slightly as he realised that Gideon was getting ready to come and get him.

"If I tell y-you where I am, y-you have to p-promise not t-to tell any of t-the team."

"Reid, I promise that I won't tell a soul. Just tell me where you are," Gideon promised.

Reid worked out how far they had come and told Gideon where he was. Reid knew that he trusted Gideon but Reid also knew he had been betrayed by people he had trusted before. He hoped that he wasn't making the same mistake twice by giving his trust to Gideon.

"I'll be there in about an hour. Just stay calm and I will see you soon," Gideon said down the phone, a few seconds later a dead tone filled the payphone. Reid felt slightly sad when the he heard the dial tone again. Reid set the phone down, he stared at the phone for a moment as he wondered about the events that had taken place over the last few hours. He had not felt this way in a long time, he didn't know why he felt this way.

He didn't know why he felt stronger. He didn't know if it was the rush of adrenaline he had experienced back in his room when he had knocked out Michael or the fact that he was looking out for Eric.

All Reid knew was that he felt strong and confident for the first time in months. He felt like he could face that world on his own.

There was only one thing stopping him from getting on with life and Reid knew what that was. Not what, but who?

Jay Henson

**An hour later**

Reid was huddled near a tree with Eric waiting for Gideon. They had avoided being seen by a police cruiser but Reid was starting to get nervous as he waited for Gideon. He knew that it would only be a certain amount of time before they were found. Reid's thoughts were disturbed as he heard a car pull up near the payphone. Reid got to his feet and crept over to a bush. Reid took a deep breath before he looked over the bush to see who was near the payphone.

Reid let out a small breath of relief as he saw Gideon climb out of a car. Reid went to Eric and shook him slightly. Eric  
mumbled for a moment before he awoke from his slumber.

"Dr Reid, what's going on?" Eric yawned.

"M-My friend is here, h-he is going to t-take us here somewhere safe. Come on," Reid said before he helped Eric get up. Eric groaned for a moment before shook his head. Reid made his way from out of the forestry he had been using for cover.

"Gideon!" Reid shouted causing to Gideon to whip round to face him. Reid didn't miss the look of confusion on Gideon's face. Reid knew he was still in the clothes that the hospital had given him. Gideon ran over to him, he stopped in front of him before enveloping Reid into a hug.

Reid tensed for a moment before he hugged Gideon back nervously, Reid had not expected this. He had barely had any human contact for the last two months. Gideon hugging him felt abnormal. Gideon withdrew from the hug and looked Reid over with a quizzical look on his old features.

"Reid. What happened to you?" Gideon asked before he noticed young man come to stand near Reid. "Who is this Reid?"

"This is E-Eric. Can we just g-go? I will explain w-when we are on the road," Reid said before he guided Eric over to the car and put him in the back. Gideon silently followed Reid.

**Gideon**

Gideon followed Reid over to the car, he had no idea what Reid had been through but he knew it had not been a good thing. He looked at the clothes that Reid was wearing. They were hospital clothes.

A thousand questions ran through Gideon's mind, they were questions that he wanted answers to. Gideon watched as Reid jumped into the passenger seat. Gideon knew that Reid was hiding something by the look in the young genius's eyes. Reid was scared of something, something that was scaring him to his very core.

Gideon jumped into the driver's seat and started the car, he pulled onto the road and headed back to his home. The entire car was silent for a few minutes except for Eric snoring in the back seat. Gideon decided then it was time for Reid to talk.

"Reid, where have you come from? I need to know what has happened to you. I've known you for a long time, I know I was gone for some of that time but I can still read you like a book. You are scared, I can see it in your eyes. Reid, explain to me what is wrong," Gideon demanded although he kept a calm demeanour to his voice. Gideon watched as Reid brushed some hair from his face and crossed his arms.

"I e-escaped from the mental hospital a f-few miles back," Reid admitted. Gideon felt himself lose his breath as he took in Reid's words.

"Reid, why the hell were you in a mental hospital?" Gideon gasped.

"The doctor and the t-team p-put me there after w-what happened to me and w-what I tried to do. I had to get o-out of there. Jay is o-out and he s-sent someone to g-get me. I-I knocked him out and j-just ran. That place i-is horrible," Reid said quickly.

Gideon knew right there and then that Reid was not going anywhere. Gideon had witnessed the aftermath of what Jay had done to Reid, he had seen the tapes after he had asked Garcia to see them. He was not going to let Reid get hurt again.

"Reid what happened to you? What did you do that made the team put you in that hospital?"

"I-I got taken a while b-back by a guy. He t-took Garcia aswell and h-he hurt me. I was re-rescued by the t-team and I was in hospital f-for a w-while. I struggled w-with some t-things and I did something."

Gideon gripped the steering wheel tight as he felt rage bubble inside of him. It was the fact that Reid had been taken again while the team had vowed to protect him. Gideon also felt anger at the team for not calling him and telling him about Reid, he knew the team hated him for leaving Reid but the least they could have done was call him. It hurt him that Reid had been hurt again.

Gideon was disturbed by the 'something' in Reid's speech.

"Reid, what did you do?" Gideon demanded sternly.

**Reid**

Reid was biting his tongue as he debated on whether to tell Gideon about his suicide attempt. He knew that Gideon was going to be angry and he didn't want Gideon to be angry with him. Reid just wanted to someone to be calm with him. Reid sighed as he realised Gideon wasn't going to help him all the way if he didn't tell Gideon the truth.

"P-Please don't be mad w-with me. I thought e-everything w-would be better if I-I wasn't around a-anymore. I t-tried to kill myself," Reid said quietly before looking down in shame.

Reid jerked forward as Gideon pulled over onto the edge of the road and slammed on the brakes. Reid yelped as Gideon grabbed by the sides of his arms and shook him angrily.

"Why would you ever think that? Why the hell did you try and kill yourself? That is a selfish thing to do," Gideon said  
angrily.

Reid was shaking with fear at what Gideon had just done. Reid winced as Gideon was hurting his arms with his grip. He couldn't fight back the watery tears in his eyes.

"E-everyone w-was getting h-hurt because of m-me and I wasn't w-worth anything a-anymore. I was t-tired of all the p-pain, I was si-sick of being the weakling. I'm sorry," Reid sobbed gently as he looked into Gideon's stare of fury. Reid looked down as he couldn't stand the anger being sent his way.

Reid felt strong arms wrap around him, he realised that Gideon had pulled him into a strong hug again.

"I'm sorry I got angry with you Reid. Everything is going to be okay, I'm not letting anyone hurt you again. I'm not angry with you...I'm just worried about you," Gideon said calmly to Reid.

"Don't m-make me go b-back to the hospital! P-promise you w-won't make me go b-back," Reid pleaded with Gideon through the tears.

"I promise you will never go back there."

**Please review and thanks for reading. **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hey everyone, I couldn't help myself. I had to write another chapter. I think I'm addicted to writing this fanfic!**

**Thank you for the reviews and alerts again, I jump for joy each time I see them. **

**Enjoy this new chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Oh and I want to ask you all, how would feel about a Gideon vs Rossi scenario? Reid's two father figures going at each other. Sound good?**

The first thing that Reid became aware of was the cold feeling at the side of his forehead, the second thing he became aware of was a hand shaking him. Reid's mind suddenly became alert causing Reid to awaken with a gasp. Reid looked around and remembered where he was. He looked over to his side to see Gideon looking at him.

"Reid, we are back at my house. You fell asleep in my arms so I just left you to sleep on the drive," Gideon explained as he noticed that Reid was confused.

Reid yawned and rubbed his eyes as they burned for more sleep. He looked around into the back seat to see that Eric was still asleep. He smiled when he saw that Eric was getting sleep, he knew that Eric had a hard time sleeping back at the hospital. Reid looked up and took in Gideon's house, it was exactly how Reid remembered it. He had stayed there for a few days when he had last seen Gideon. Reid realised that it had been a long time since he had seen Gideon. It had been long time since he had seen the man who had become like a father to him, the man he wished his father was.

"You ready to go?" Gideon asked.

"Let m-me just wait u-up Eric," Reid mumbled slightly before he leaned into back seat and shook Eric's leg. Eric moaned and tried to bat away Reid's hand. Reid shook him again causing Eric to open his eyes.

"Its t-time to go inside," Reid said before he returned to his seat and opened the passenger side door, Reid swung his legs round and hopped out of the car. Reid grunted as his knees failed him and he collapsed to the group with a harsh thud.

"Reid!" Gideon shouted slightly before he quickly rushed out of the car and over to Reid's side. Eric had also made his way to Reid's side.

"I'm o-okay, my legs a-are ju-just a little weak," Reid assured them as he climbed back to his feet. Gideon held a hand to Reid's back to steady him.

"Come on, let's get you two inside," Gideon said before leading them to the house. Eric followed the two men nervously, he started to tap just above his knee faster and faster as they got close to the house. Gideon unlocked the door and Reid walked into the darkened home, his breathing picked up for a few seconds but slowed when Gideon raced over to the light switch and turned the lights on.

"Thanks," Reid said.

"I know you don't like the dark," Gideon smiled gently at him before he gestured for Reid to go into the living room. Reid and Eric walked into the living room and sat on the two sofa's facing each other. Gideon disappeared for a moment leaving Reid and Eric alone. Eric leaned forward and whispered to Reid.

"Are you sure we can trust this guy?"

"Eric, w-we can t-trust him. He won't t-tell anyone we a-are here."

"Okay Dr Reid," Eric sighed in relief, he stopped tapping his knee as the calm came over him.

Gideon returned with pillows and blankets for them. Reid thanked Gideon as he took his set from Gideon, Reid placed the pillow on the end of the sofa. Reid yawned as he the thought of sleeping came to his mind. It sounded so nice to him. Reid jolted slightly as he fought away the sandman's song. Gideon walked over to Reid and put a hand on his shoulder. Reid looked up at to see Gideon giving him a small smile. Reid came to realise that Gideon seemed to smile more now than he did when he was at the BAU. Leaving must have done him some good, Reid wondered if leaving the BAU would give him the goodness that he needed.

"Reid, get some sleep. You are safe here, no-one is going to come here. Just go to sleep and rest, you look like you haven't had much sleep in a while," Gideon said to him. Reid nodded as he decided it was time to succumb to the sleep that wanted him. Gideon guided Reid down to the pillow. Reid laid down on the sofa and put his head to the pillow.

Reid let the soothing darkness engulf him.

**Gideon**

Gideon watched as Reid fell asleep against the pillow, it had only taken a few seconds for Reid to fall asleep. Gideon knew that he must have been exhausted. Gideon leaned down and removed Reid's shoes, he put them on the floor before grabbing the blanket and putting it over Reid. He smiled at the sight, he was reminded of the times he used to put his son to sleep when he was younger.

Gideon turned around to face Eric was looking at him with worried and fearful eyes. Gideon decided he would need to use a different tactic to talk to the young man.

"I'm not going to hurt you, I'm a friend of Spencer. How do you know Spencer?" Gideon asked Eric gently. Eric bit his lower lip before he answered Gideon.

"Dr Reid is my friend in the hospital, he protect me there."

"What do you mean he protects you?" Gideon asked as he became confused by the statement. Hospitals were supposed to keep people safe. Gideon wondered who Eric needed protecting from.

"I shouldn't say anything but some of the guards and nurses are mean and brutal at the hospital. Dr Reid knows, they hurt him too. He protects me and he looks out for me, he is there when I lose control or get upset."

"What the hell? How did they hurt him?" Gideon said angrily but he kept his anger under control, he didn't want to scare the young man. Gideon couldn't believe that he was hearing this. Pain seemed to follow Reid wherever he went.

"Dr Reid came to hospital about two months ago, he refused to let anyone near him and when he refused to take his medication in the first week the guards held him down and forced it down his throat. A few weeks later he stood up for another patient in group session. When Dr Reid was alone one of the guards hit him round the face. A few days ago he defended me in the garden, he has some bruises on his ribs from the another beating."

Gideon sat in shock as he listened to what Reid had been through. He couldn't believe that the team had allowed him to stay in a place like that.

He looked over to Reid and vowed that Reid was staying with him till Jay was caught and Reid was allowed his freedom again.

His son was going nowhere.

**Rossi**

Rossi slammed down his phone in fustration. Reid had still not been found. Rossi had been the last one to see Reid one to one, the last time the rest of the team had seen him he had been screaming at them. He had been screaming about being betrayed and wanting to die as he was wheeled out of his room and up to the mental ward.

Rossi leaned back into his chair and wondered where Reid might have gone. He knew Reid would need help and he knew that Reid would not contact the team for any help. It was then that his mind connected the dots. Rossi had gotten to know Reid incredibly well over the last year.

Rossi knew that Reid would not contact a member of the team but that he may contact the man who had brought him onto the team. Rossi jolted up from his chair and walked out of his office and into Hotch's. Hotch looked up to meet Rossi's gaze.

"Has anyone contacted Gideon?" Rossi asked.

**Please review**


	4. Chapter 4

**Hey everyone, sorry for the slight delay but had a busy but great day out. **

**I hope you enjoy this chapter and I just want to thank you all again for the reviews and story adds and all the faves. You are the most incredible people and I just want to thank you for sticking with the trilogy and making me have a bit more faith in my writing.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own **

**An hour later**

Gideon walked over to the doorway that led to his living room, he peeked around the wall and smiled as he saw Eric and Reid asleep on the two sofas. Reid twitched every now and then, Gideon knew it was Reid dreaming. By the jumpy twitches and movements Gideon knew that Reid was somewhere bad in his nightmare, he wanted to wake Reid up but he decided against it. The dark circles under Reid's eyes were signs that he had not been sleeping, Gideon knew he had been deprived of a peaceful slumber. Gideon whipped round as a rapping of knocks came at his front door. Gideon was relieved that Eric and Reid didn't wake up.

He walked over to door and looked through the peep hole. Dread filled him when he saw three familiar figures standing outside his door. Gideon spotted Hotch, Rossi and Morgan on the other side of the door. Gideon knew Reid couldn't see the team, he had begged him to not call them and he had kept that promise. He knew that Reid hadn't anticipated them knowing his mind. Gideon opened the door to the three men but only opened it enough for him to be in view. He didn't need the three men seeing Reid.

"Hello Gideon," Rossi said coldly. Gideon had once been friends with Rossi but the last time they had seen each other had ended in some very severe words being shared.

"What do I owe this visit?" Gideon said calmly, every part of himself wanted to check on Reid but he couldn't, not without letting them know that something was up. Hotch and Morgan were both giving Reid hard stares. They had still not forgiven Gideon for leaving the team all those years ago.

"We just need to know if Reid has contacted you in the last ten hours or so, he is missing. We need-" Hotch began to say before a piercing scream filled the air behind Gideon. Gideon grunted as all three men pushed through the door and knocked Gideon back slightly. Gideon quickly slammed the door and rushed over to where the three men stood frozen as they looked at Reid.

Gideon panicked when he saw Reid's eyes open wide with fear as he took in the three men.

**Reid**

Reid awoke from his nightmare only to enter into an entirely new one. Reid shuffled back into the arm of the sofa as he took in the three men in front of him. Eric had also awoken on the other sofa, he had pulled the blanket over himself. Reid didn't blame him, he knew Eric hated hearing people scream. Hiding under the blanket was the way that Eric blocked out things. Gideon came running into the living room and stopped near the three men, the look of anger on his face blazing.

"Thank good you are alright," Morgan said before letting out a relieved breath.

Reid let fear and adrenaline rule him at that moment. Hotch, Rossi and Morgan were here and that meant only one thing. He knew that they probably knew about Jay being out of prison but their prescence meant only one thing. They would try and put him back in the mental hospital.

_'Screw that, I'm not going back there'_ Reid thought.

Reid quickly jumped over the sofa, he was happy when his legs followed his orders. He ran towards the bathroom fully aware of the heavy footsteps belonging to Morgan and Hotch chasing after him. Reid ran into the bathroom and slammed the door shut just as Hotch and Morgan reached it. He clicked the lock on and stared at it for a seconds as Morgan and Hotch yelled at him to open the door. Reid took a few quick deep breaths, he turned around and saw the window. Reid climbed onto the tub and unclipped the the latch, he slid the window open and started to pull himself through it.

A crash came from behind him but Reid ignored it as he climbed throught the window. He ignored the sounds behind him till he felt two strong hands grip his leg and yank him backwards.

"No!" Reid yelled as he was pulled back through the window. Reid struggled as two strong arms wrapped round him, arms he knew belonged to Morgan. Reid struggled as he was pulled out of the bathroom and into the hall.

"Let m-me go!"

Reid was gently lowered to the floor, he quickly brought himself to his feet and backed away from Morgan and Hotch. Gideon and Rossi were standing there in shock at the situation.

"Reid, it is only us. Everything is fine," Morgan said as he tried to calm Reid down. Reid shook his head fiercely at the  
statement. Reid knew that everything was far from fine.

"Y-You put me in t-that place. I'm not going b-back there. Jay c-came for me there, I e-escaped and I-I intend to stay a-away from everything. E-especially you," Reid spat at Morgan, Hotch and Rossi.

"He came for you? Are you okay?" Hotch asked.

"Why should y-you care? You couldn't w-wait to g-get rid of me. I-I was the weakling o-of the team, well not a-anymore. I refuse t-to be w-weak anymore."

"That's not true! Reid, we hated you going into that place. We didn't want you to go in there but the doctor wouldn't let us help you. We only want to help you," Hotch said as he tried to defend the team. He knew that Reid was angry and upset, he also knew that Reid wasn't going to trust them again easily. All Hotch knew was that he was happy that Reid was alive. He had feared finding Reid dead somewhere.

Hotch was disturbed when Reid let out a loud sarcastic laugh.

"H-help me! T-that placed was fucking h-hell, y-you don't know what h-happened to me t-that place!" Reid screamed at them as he thought of how horrifying that hospital was. He cringed as he thought about how the guards used to hurt and taunt him.

"What happened?" Hotch asked nervously. He thought of the CCTV footage he had seen, he remembered seeing Reid flinch with fear at the man who had spoken to him.

"T-They forced me to do t-things I didn't want t-to do. They h-hit and t-taunted me, they beat m-me and made me s-suffer. I suffered b-because you stuck me i-in there."

**Gideon**

Gideon felt his heart ache as he listened to what Reid had been through. He hated the team for barging into his home and scaring Reid. Reid had been calm before they had came into the home, he had never seen Reid so broken. Gideon knew then it was to speak up.

"I think its time you leave," Gideon demanded, he didn't want them in the house anymore.

"We are not going anywhere without Reid, he needs protection and we are not leaving him alone anymore. We are here to protect him," Morgan replied.

"Protect him, you haven't done a good job of protecting him from what I hear. I think the best thing is for him to stay here with me. He isn't safe with you," Gideon said. He watched as Morgan and Hotch took in his words.

Rossi suddenly turned to face him with wrathful fury in his eyes.

"We have been there! You haven't, don't you ever say he isn't safe with us! The safest place is with his family and we are his family. You abandoned him a long time ago and no matter how much you try to reconnect with him you will never be what he needs. He needed a father figure when you left and we provided him with that. The best thing for Reid is to stay away from you, the last thing he needs is to be abandoned again!" Rossi shouted at Gideon.

"He feels safe with me! He called me when he needed help, he didn't call you because you put him in a loony bin. You all betrayed him. He wanted some space in the year he was recovering and I gave it to him. I know I left him alone all that time ago but it was the best thing for both us. He is like a son to me, I am never leaving him alone again. You are the ones he shouldn't trust. After everything he has done for you and you made him like this. You don't deserve to know Reid you bastard," Gideon shouted back angrily, his face red as he tried to fight the urge to hit the older agent.

"Don't you say that! Reid is not your son, he never has been and never will be," Rossi shouted at him. Rossi would not accept Gideon thinking of Reid as a son.

"I see it now. You are trying to replace the son that you lost with Reid. Reid is not your son Rossi, you haven't been there for him. You haven't done anything for him."

Rossi raised his fist to hit Gideon when Reid's voice filled the room.

"STOP IT! STOP F-FIGHTING O-OVER SOMETHING W-WORTHLESS!" Reid shouted.

**Please review**

**Also I need to ask this because other people have told me I'm weird for doing it. Is it weird that I have a little cat called Reid? **


	5. Chapter 5

**Hey everyone, I know this chapter is a bit shorter than the others but I am a bit exhausted after being a work today but guess what my lovely readers. **

**Tomorrow is bank holiday Monday which means no work and day of being lazy except instead of being lazy I am going to be posting two brand new chapters and they will be long.**

**Thank you again for all the reviews and adds, you are all great and I want to thank you again for reading.**

**I have to say though to Namira, I had only just woken up when I read your review and I panicked at the first sentence. Good joke though.**

**All mistake are my own**

**Enjoy and please review**

Reid found himself staring at Rossi and Gideon, his eyes open to what he had been seen as for the first time. He never knew that Gideon and Rossi cared for him that much but he hated hearing them fight over him. He wasn't worth their words, he just wanted to be alone. He wanted to be away from all the anger and troubles. Reid knew all he wanted was a day of peace, one where he wasn't hunted by a killer or haunted by the memories of torture.

"Dr Reid, you are not worthless. You are the best person that I know," Eric piped up from the sofa, his head now above the blanket. Reid watched as Eric put the blanket on the sofa and walked over to the group. Eric stood next to Reid and gave him a small smile.

"Y-You have only k-known me f-f-for a few weeks Eric, y-you don't kn-know me as well as y-you think you do," Reid said to Eric.

"I know you enough Dr Reid, you stood up for me in the mental hospital when the guards were horrible. You made sure that I was okay and you defended Erica when the nurse starting blaming her. You help people, that is what you are meant to do. You are not worthless, you never have been. Not to me and the other patients in the hospital," Eric smiled at Reid.

"Listen to him Reid, he is right. You are not worthless. Think of all the people that you saved in your time at the BAU. you are the reason a lot of people are alive," Hotch told Reid.

Reid shook his head as he tried to remember all the people he had saved in his time. He was frustrated as he remembered some people while other parts of his mind became blocked with blank areas. The empty spaces he couldn't remember.

"T-that is the thing, I-I d-don't remember some o-of them. I r-remember some of t-them, I remember N-Nathan Harris and all the b-blood. Why d-does blood follow me e-everywhere?" Reid whimpered slightly. Reid shook his head again as he shook away the helpless feeling that wanted to consume him. He took a deep breath and stood up straight, he was determined to be weak in front of the others again.

'I'm don't want to be that person again. I'm stronger than this' Reid thought, he liked that fact he could reassure himself again. He hadn't been able to have faith in himself for a long time, it was nice.

"I n-need s-some air," Reid said before he headed towards the front door. He needed some time to himself, he needed some space to be him again. Reid heard heavy footsteps behind him, he whipped round to see Morgan behind him.

"L-Leave me a-alone Morgan," Reid snapped at Morgan. "I'll be b-back but I-I need some t-time to myself. I need t-to take a w-walk."

Reid stormed towards the door and grabbed a jacket as he opened the door. He slipped on the jacket to avoid his hospital clothes being seen. Reid winced slightly as his leg protested his fast walking. Reid knew that Gideon would take care of Eric. Reid cherished the cold wind as it whipped around his face, it made him feel alive to feel his hair whipping into his face.

There was a wonderful sense of freedom as he walked down the road. He was at peace till he heard a familiar voice shout his name behind him. He sighed as he realised Eric was running up the street towards him. He stopped and waited for Eric to catch up with him, he knew it would only cause Eric distress if he sent him back to Gideon. Eric's eyes suddenly went wide as he was near Reid. Reid followed his gaze to see a car barelling towards him.

Reid grunted as he was suddenly pushed out of the way, he groaned as he collided with road. Reid heard a horrific scream before a loud thud came. Reid shook away the dizzy feeling and looked over to where he had just been standing. Reid felt his heart stop at the sight that was before him.

Lying a few feet from where he was standing was a bloody and broken looking Eric. Reid started to breathe heavier as he saw the blood, it was everywhere and it wasn't stopping. Reid was about to scramble towards Eric when a figure emerged from the car, a figure that Reid had dreamed about in his nightmare.

Reid began to crawl backwards as Jay Henson smiled at him. Reid had only been with him when he had had the white mask on but he had seen a photo of Jay.

"Hello Dr Reid," Jay chuckled before looking over to Eric. "Seems you've killed your friend, you should have come to me back at the mental hospital. He would have stayed alive then."

Reid looked to Eric and saw that his chest wasn't moving.

"No," Reid whispered to himself. Reid felt like crying as he saw Eric's dead body. He had promised Eric that he would get him back to his mother. He had broken that promise, instead he had got Eric killed.

"Don't worry Dr Reid, you'll be with him in time. We have unfinished business to attend to. I have to say I have missed you, I've missed carving into your skin and oh how I have missed playing games" Eric smirked happily at him before he produced a knife.

"I-I'mmm...n-not g-g-going anywhere w-with y-you," Reid spat back although his speech betrayed how he truly felt. He was scared to death of the man standing in front of him.

"I forgot I damaged that pretty brain of yours. That was a bonus in my view."

Reid quickly scrambled to his feet, he tried to run but he only made it a few strides before he felt a pain fill his back and his body convulse as a shock made its way through him. Reid smashed into the ground, he couldn't move as he the pain decreased slightly. His entire body kept twitching, he couldn't control his hands or turn his head. He watched as a pair of boots came into view, he felt a cold hand grab his jaw and turn it.

Reid felt fear as he came face to face with Jay. Reid suddenly knew why he couldn't move as Jay waved a taser gun in his view.

"That had to hurt," Jay laughed. "You've had worse though although trust me when I tell you that you won't be able to say that anymore. You still have so many parts on you that I can chop off."

Reid closed his eyes as he felt tears run down his cheeks. He quickly opened them when he felt hot breath near his ear and Jay's voice whisper in his ear.

"You are all mine."

**Please review and look out for new chapters tomorrow.**


	6. Chapter 6

**Okay so I wanted this to be longer but I am uploading another chapter in a few hours but I hope you forgive me.**

**Thank you again for all the reviews and adds. They were great.**

**I really hope that you like this chapter and I would love love love to know what you think of it. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"I'm going to go find him, he has had enough time alone," Morgan huffed before he made his way out of Gideon's door. He walked down the street and looked for any sign of Reid, he was a few steps from corner when a woman's high pitched scream fill the cold night. Morgan jolted into a fast sprint around the corner, he immediately saw a young woman hovering over a body. Morgan pushed himself to run faster as he saw the body.

'Please don't be Reid' Morgan prayed in his mind.

Morgan slowed and skidded next to the body, he looked down and saw it was the the young man who had been with Reid, he remembered. Morgan knelt down and placed his fingers of the boy's neck, he sighed as he found no pulse. Morgan suddenly realised that there was no vehicle around. More important, he realised that Reid was no where to be found. Morgan turned to the shocked woman, he pulled out his badge to show her he wasn't a threat.

"Miss, did you see anything that happened?" Morgan asked her. The young woman looked at him for a moment before she shook herself and regained some composure.

"I heard a loud crash, I thought it was nothing till I heard some people talking angrily. I got out of bed and made my way over to the window. I saw a man dragging a young man into the back of his car. I ran to wake my husband but by the time we got outside the car was gone. Oh god, this poor boy," the woman moaned as she looked down to the mangled body.

Morgan froze at the woman's words.

"What did the young man look like? The young man that was dragged into the back of the car," Morgan demanded as his thoughts were purely concentrated on finding Reid. The young women closed her eyes, Morgan knew she was trying to recall the images she had seen.

"He had slightly shaggy brown hair, he was thin with a blue jacket on and white trousers. He was twitching as well. He looked so helpless."

Morgan felt a flood of emotions as he heard the woman describe the young man who had been taken. The young man that Morgan already knew was Reid. He felt anger at Jay Henson for taking Reid again, he felt guilt at himself for leaving Reid alone. Morgan had left Reid alone to try and let him have some space to himself. Morgan berated himself for not following Reid, none of this would have happened if he had kept his promise, the promise to keep the young fragile genius safe.

Morgan pulled out his phone and dialled Hotch, it only took a few seconds for Hotch to pick up.

"Morgan! Have you got Reid yet?" Hotch asked him. Morgan rubbed his hand over his head, he knew this was going to hit everyone hard.

"Hotch, get the team together. Jay Henson kidnapped Reid again, we need to get him back. We need to him back now! I am not losing Reid again. He can't go through that torture again."

**Reid**

Reid awoke but he kept his eyes closed tight. He didn't want to open his eyes and know that what he had just been through had been real. He could feel the tape over his mouth, the tape that trapped the words he wanted to say. He could feel the tape around his leg and wrists. He moaned slightly as he tried to move his tied wrists that were behind his back. The worst thing he could feel was the person sitting in back seat with him.

"You are finally awake. I was hoping you would wake up, we still have quite a journey to go and I was getting bored," Jay's voice mused in the car. Reid opened his eyes, he opened them to see that he was on his back in the back seat of the car that was currently his transport to hell. He could see another person driving in the corner of his eye. Reid looked down and saw his legs were perched on top of Jay's legs. Reid felt a shiver of fear run through him when Jay moved from his seat and positioned himself over Reid, he held himself up by holding onto the seats. Reid moaned behind the tape as Jay and him came face to face again. Jay's evil eyes staring into Reid's pain and innocent eyes.

"You are still so fascinating Dr Reid. I can't wait to play with you. I was extremely happy to learn that your previous  
kidnapper had failed in his attempt to kill you. The moment I heard you were still alive I knew that I had to come and get you. I had to come and rescue you from that evil mental hospital, I still find it hysterically laughable that the people you thought were your family put you in a loony bin. I guess they finally knew that you had gone cuckoo," Jay laughed causing Reid to flinch.

"I also heard that pretty little tech girl got taken as well. Now I was very fucking disappointed to hear that her little  
head wasn't found dead somewhere. Don't worry Dr Reid, I won't take her but I can guarantee that she will watch every minute of your torture. I want her to be just as broken as you by the end of this. Not even her precious Morgan can save her from the horror she is about to see," Jay taunted as he leaned in closer to Reid so that their noses were almost touching.

Reid felt a jolt in his heart at Garcia's name. He knew that he still cared for her deeply, he knew that the connection they had built over his year of recovery was still there. He had ignored her to protect her, he didn't want Garcia to be hurt in any way. He didn't want her to be hurt emotionally or physically. Reid decided to let out the fighter inside him at that point. The part of him that had become stronger and stronger as he had been alone.

Reid thrust his head up fast and hard and smashed it into Jay's face. Jay yelped in pain as Reid's head connected with his face. Reid groaned as pain filled his head, he like the pain though. It had been worth the pain to see Jay fall backwards clutching a bloody nose. Reid took the opportunity to shuffle backwards slightly, he lifted his tied legs up and kicked Jay's head into the window.

Jay's head smashed into the window breaking the glass. Reid barely had time to register that Jay had become unconcious when his transport to hell screeched to a halt. Reid slid slightly but he managed to keep himself on the backseat. Reid watched as the driver of the car got out and made his way to the back door on Reid's side.

Reid panicked slightly as the door was opened, he screamed behind the tape as a cloth that smelled sweet was placed over his nose. Reid couldn't help but inhale the smell from the cloth. He knew it was chloroform. He let out a weak moan as the darkness overtook him.

He hated the dark, it was absent of light and full of uncertainty.

**Please review **


	7. Chapter 7

**Hey here is the next chapter as promised. I hope you enjoy this chapter.**

**I want to thank you again for the reviews and adds, they mean so much to me. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Three hours later**

"He can't be gone!" Garcia screamed at Morgan as she paced up and down her office, she could feeling herself shaking with a mix of rage and anger. Garcia couldn't believe that they had lost Reid to the man that had ruined Reid's life. She didn't want to accept that her little genius was in the hands of the man that had scarred and tortured him in every way.

"We'll get him back Garcia, I promise," Morgan said as he tried to calm Garcia down. He had never seen Garcia like this before, she had not even cried, instead she had unleashed a wave of fury at the team. Hotch, Rossi and Gideon being given a rather powerful piece of Garcia's mind. Garcia turned round to face Morgan, Morgan was willing to admit that he was slightly scared of Garcia at that moment.

"Damn right we are going to get him back, you should have called me the moment you found him. You all should have kept him handcuffed to you. How could you all be so stupid? You knew Jay Henson was out there and you let Reid go out alone. You, Gideon, Rossi and Hotch are going to see how that bastard got out of prison. I'm going to personally track and destroy Henson. Now go get Reid back!" Garcia shouted at Morgan. Morgan didn't argue with her, he quickly exited her office.

Hotch was walking towards Garcia's office when he saw Morgan exit quickly. Hotch wanted to see how Garcia was doing, he remembered how she was the first time Reid had been taken by Jay, she had wept seeing Reid brutally tortured. He didn't want her to feel that way again.

"Is Garcia okay? I was going to see how she is doing," Hotch said to Morgan. Morgan stopped Hotch from reaching the door knob and walked a confused Hotch away from Garcia's office.

"The best thing right now is not to go in that office. Garcia is angry and I don't think you want to be at the end of her  
wrath. She wants us to find out how Jay Henson escaped prison. She is going after Jay in her own way," Morgan explained to Hotch. Hotch took a brief glance back at Garcia's door and decided to follow Morgan's advice.

**Garcia**

Garcia quickly gulped down the last of her coffee, she knew if she was going to find Jay she was going to need all the energy she could get. Garcia slammed the mug down on her desk and started to look for any sign of Jay or who he might have been in contact with. She pulled up every digital finger print of Jay's she could find. She stopped typing when she took a look into his finances. Something she had not seen the first time.

Garcia discovered that Jay had been accessing another bank account, one that was on in his name. Garcia was about to look for the account holder when a email popped up on the screen to her left. She glanced it and immediately felt everything in the world not matter. The title read 'For the attention of Reid's little friend'.

Garcia clicked the email open and then clicked the link in the email. Two small windows popped up on her screen, one that showed her and another that showed a white bath tub. Garcia jumped slightly when Jay Henson walked behind the tub, she studied his face and saw his nose was swollen and bruised and that he had a nasty cut above his eye. Garcia couldn't help the feeling of being happy at seeing him beat up.

"Hello Miss Garcia, are you missing Dr Reid?" Jay smirked at the screen. Garcia wanted nothing more than to reach into the screen and kick the hell out of Jay. She just prayed the Reid was okay. Deep down inside she knew though that Reid wasn't going to be okay for much longer. She didn't need to be a profiler to know that Jay was contacting her to make her see Reid in pain. She knew Jay was that kind of sadistic bastard.

"Where is Reid you bastard?" Garcia snapped at the screen.

"First thing first, I only want to speak to you at the moment. I know how close you have become with Dr Reid, this show is personally for you. I'll warn you right now that if you call for the rest of the team that Dr Reid here will have another one of his precious fingers cut off. Do you understand?" Jay threatened.

"I understand now tell me where Reid is!" Garcia said quickly, she just wanted to see Reid.

"Good girl, you are obedient aren't you. He is a little beaten up, he was a very bad boy on his way here so I had to punish him," Jay sighed before he walked out of the view of the camera. Garcia heard a small yelp as pain, a yelp that she knew belonged to Reid. Garcia felt her heart break when she saw Reid being dragged into shot by his hair, his arms and legs bound together. Garcia gasped as she took in Reid's beaten form, he had a bloody nose and a swollen black eye. Jay dropped Reid to the floor. Garcia watched as Reid looked at screen, his eyes went wide for a moment before they changed to look at Jay.

"L-Leave h-her out of t-this!" Reid shouted at Jay.

Jay Henson delievered a swift kick into Reid's ribs, Reid grunted at the kick but he kept himself composed.

"Shut up!" Jay shouted at Reid. "You were enough trouble in the car, I can't wait to take that fight out of you."

"You don't have to hurt him, you have hurt him enough," Garcia tried to plead with Jay.

"You stupid little bitch, he has not been hurt enough. He has regained the fight I thought I had beaten and cut out of him. It seems I have to be start all over again. I think I will begin with giving Dr Reid a nice cold bath".

Garcia felt herself panic as she watched Jay pick up a struggling Reid.

**Reid**

Reid began to struggled as Jay pulled him over to the bathtub, his gaze briefly went to the screen to see Garcia looking horrified. Reid gasped as Jay dropped him in the cold water, his clothes instantly becoming soaked. Reid managed to keep his head above the water. He already knew what Jay was going to do, all Reid knew was that he wasn't going to make it easy for him.

"I've missed having time with you Dr Reid. Let the games begin," Jay laughed happily.

Jay grabbed Reid's hair with one hand while he put the other on Reid's chest and pushed Reid under the water. Reid quickly took a deep breath before he was completely submerged. Reid held his breath for as long as he could but he started to struggled as his body screamed for air. Reid fought even harder as Jay's hand came across his face to keep him down. Reid took the oppurtunity to fight back again. Reid moved his head and found Jay's hand, he bit down on it hard causing Jay to release him. Reid jolted back up and out of the water. He coughed for a few moments before he took deep breaths of air.

"You are going to pay for that!" Jay shouted while clutching his hand. Reid saw that he bit through the the flesh and caused Jay's hand to bleed. Reid was happy that he had caused Jay pain.

Reid heard footsteps to his left, he turned his head only to see a fist coming fast into face.

**Please review **


	8. Chapter 8

**Hey everyone, **

**Firstly to Namira. I'm still alive and well, yesterday was a very busy day and I didn't have a time to update. It was only a one time thing though, I promise that updates will return to being daily. **

**Thank you for the reviews and adds, you are all amazing reviewers. Thank you again.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid let out a small whine as he woke up, he slowly and sluggishly opened his eyes. He opened to find that he had been strapped to a dentist-like chair. He blinked his eyes and found that it hurt slightly to blink. He knew both his eyes were now swollen and brusied. Reid smiled slightly as he remembered the pain on Jay's face after he had bit down on his hand. The newly acquired bruise was worth the pain.

Reid felt the smile fall from his face as he thought about Garcia seeing him the way he was, yet again she had been forced to be witness to his torture. Reid knew that there was only two ways that this could end. One was with his death, an option that he would have considered a few months ago but he was not willing to accept that option now. He had found a new strength inside himself when he had been in the mental hospital. He had accepted the idea of being on his own, he had accepted the idea of having to get himself out of his current hell hole.

Reid knew he would never stop fighting Jay. He refused to be this man's puppet. He was going to stay alive, he just had keep himself strong.

Reid was ripped away from his thoughts as the door to his side was opened. Reid was surprised when Jay didn't walk through, he didn't know the man's name but he recognised him. He recognised him as the man that had driven the car, he was the man that had forced him to breathe in chloroform. He knew he also had the man to thank for his new bruised eye.

"Where's J-Jay?" Reid asked curiously. The man looked at Reid for a moment before he calmly walked over to the corner and grabbed a silver tray. Reid didn't say anything as the man carried the tray. His mind frantically wanted to know what was under the tray but Reid stopped himself from asking any further questions. The man looked back to Reid, his green eyes studying Reid's brown eyes.

"He is resting, you gave him a bad head wound and he needs to rest. I've been ordered to take care of you for now. Jay has explained to me what he wants to do to you. I may change a few details, I think he has lost his touch personally," the man said stoically.

Reid feared the man but he didn't let the fear rule him, he controlled the fear. Reid could tell that this man was different to Jay and not in the right way. This man seemed calm, too calm in Reid's view. He wasn't a submissive person either. Reid knew that a submissive person in a partnership would not question the instructions of the dominant person. This man had not only questioned Jay but insulted him as well.

"Am I s-supposed to f-feel guilty for h-hurting that b-bastard? Smashing h-his head i-into the window f-felt f-fantastic," Reid smirked slightly at the man.

Reid's head whipped to the side as the man backhanded him around the face. Reid took a few seconds to regain his bearings before he faced the man. Reid had expected that hit.

"There are some things that do puzzle me though Dr Reid. Firstly Jay's fucking obsession with you, I offer to break him out of jail and all he can think about is finding you. I get all the equipment he asks for and I get him out and still all he wants is to find you. He always told me that you were a weak pathetic piece of crap. He told me that you wouldn't fight back because you would be too scared," the man mused calmly, his voice at the same level the entire time. Reid was slightly worried at the fact the man showed no anger. Reid continued to listen as the man spoke.

"I mean a man of your age being such a scared baby, its fucking pathetic if you ask me. To Jay's surprised though you've been fighting back. What puzzles me is you, why are you fighting back? You tried to end it all a few months ago. Why are you not letting me and Jat just help you end things?"

Reid bit the inside of his lip when the man mentioned his suicide attempt, he hated the fact that people kept bringing it up. He realised that it had been a mistake then, he realised that he should have more faith in himself back then. He had taught himself to be independent again and he was determined to survive and live his life.

"There is n-nothing you can d-do t-to me that will make me h-hurt or f-feel as low as I d-did when I-I tried to kill  
m-myself. I won't let m-my f-fear and m-mind control me l-like before. I'm not g-gonna stop f-fighting till Jay i-is dead," Reid said defiantly.

"Well look who decided to grow a pair," the man chuckled. He grabbed the cloth over the tray he had brought over and ripped it off the tray to reveal a selection of instruments and a small vial of liquid. The man grabbed a pair of pliers from the tray and waved them in front of Reid's face.

"Let's see how strong you really are," the man smiled before he gripped Reid's jaw and forced the pliers into Reid's mouth. Reid started to struggled as he felt them clamp onto one of his back teeth. Reid whined as the man began to pull his tooth out. The man yanked viciously ripped out one of Reid's molars causing Reid to scream. Reid's head dropped as the man pulled away from him and let go of his jaw. The man dropped the tooth on the tray before walking back over to Reid. He grabbed Reid's hair and yanked it up to make Reid come face to face with him.

"You still scream like you are afraid," the man smiled.

Reid looked at the man, he spat the mouthful of blood he had into the man's face causing the man to jump back in disgust. Reid felt satisfied as the man tried to frantically wipe the blood from his own face. The man looked to Reid with anger burning in his hand. Reid knew then that he had finally made the man angry.

"Disgusting worm!"

**Please review**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone. I hope that you like this chapter because I enjoyed writing it. Just realised that by writing that I have made myself sound like a serial killer. **

**Thank you for all the reviews and adds, they were all wonderful reviews. I'm also happy that you enjoy the daily updates. I just love writing this fanfic and I love hearing back from you all. **

**Enjoy and please review!**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch sat frozen as he watched the footage Garcia had recorded from the unsub's last contact with her, Hotch had let Garcia leave the room. She didn't need to see Reid being hurt again. Hotch watched as Jay Henson pushed Reid under the water, he noticed that Reid began to struggle fiercely, he felt a huge sense of pride for Reid as he watched Reid fight. Hotch couldn't help but feel proud of Reid when he saw the bruises on Jay's face.

He just hoped that Reid could keep fighting and stay alive long enough for the team to find him. Hotch knew that they were close to getting Reid back. Garcia had told him about another man in the video. Garcia had started running his face through every database possible and had continued to search for the person who had been financing Jay and had planned his release.

Hotch had never seen her so focused and determined in his time working with her. He knew that Garcia would rip down the half the world if meant getting Reid back.

Hotch's focus returned to the screen as he heard Jay yelp in pain. Reid suddenly came above the surface of the water gasping for air, Reid coughed a few times before he looked to Jay. Hotch looked at Jay's hand and realised that Reid had bit into Jay's hand hard enough to draw blood. Hotch felt happy that Reid had caused Jay pain, Hotch also knew that Jay was going to be in a lot more pain when he got hold of Jay.

Hotch looked the screen and saw the mystery man Garcia had told him about storming towards Reid. Hotch gasped as he watched the man brutally punch Reid. He saw Reid slump against the side of the tub, his unconcious form causing Hotch to panic. Hotch was further horrified as the mystery man yanked Reid out of the bathtub and punch him in the face three more times. Hotch was relieved when Jay came over and stopped the man from pummeling Reid further.

_'Hang on Reid, we will be there soon'_ Hotch thought as he focused on Reid laying bloody and bruised on the floor. Hotch knew it was his fault for letting Reid leave the house on his own. Hotch knew he was going to be spending the rest of his life asking Reid for forgiveness.

**Reid**

Reid cried out as the unknown man kicked him in the back, Reid didn't know how the man was able to beat him for so long. Reid knew if the man continued beating him like this then he was going to die. His body couldn't take much more. He knew he was feeling stronger but his body still had limits. Reid could feel himself reaching those limits. Reid decided he was going to fight against the man, he didn't care if he died fighting back. All that mattered to him was that he was determined not to go out without a fight. He didn't want to die with world thinking he was weak, if he died he wanted the world to know that he didn't go out without a fight, he wanted to the world to know that he had been brave.

Reid looked around as the man took a few deep breaths. Reid was on the floor feeling every punch and kick the man had delivered. The look in the man's eyes already told Reid that the man was nowhere near finished with him. Reid remembered the tray that was still near the dental chair. Reid turned his body over and looked at the man's legs, Reid ignored the pain in his legs and kicked the man in the knee with all the force he could

The man buckled to the ground for a few seconds giving Reid all the time he needed. Reid dragged himself over to the tray, his body protesting the movement but his mind screamed at him to fufill the plan it had made. The plan that would either end with him alive and away from the man or dead in this hellhole.

Reid reached up and grabbed the tray's edge, the tray fell with a bang as did the surgical like instruments on it. Reid  
looked at the scattered items and instantly grabbed for one object he needed to defend himself. Reid grabbed the scalpel knife. He turned round to find the man crawling over to him like a feral animal.

"I don't care what plans Jay has for you! You are dead!" the man screamed as grabbed Reid and sat on his chest. Reid whined in pain as the man's weight came upon his ribs.

Reid whine dulled as the man wrapped his hands around Reid's throat and began to squeeze. Reid made small whining noises as the man deprived him of oxygen. Reid knew that this was the moment, this was the moment that was going to decide whether he lived or died. Reid tightened his grip on his the scalpel knife and thrust it into the man's throat. The man's eyes bulged and his hands unwrapped from Reid's throat as Reid pushed the scalpel in further.

A fresh flow of blood squirted on Reid as he let go of the knife. The man tried to reach for knife as blood came pouring out of his throat. Reid watched as the man fell to the floor, the last noises coming from him being gurgling noises. Reid shuffled backwards as he watched the man die.

Reid shuffled back to the wall and sat against it for a few minutes. Reid realised then what he had just done. Reid realised that he had just killed a man. He had taken a life so he could escape. Reid knew that he should have felt some emotion at killing man but he couldn't. He knew he should have felt guilty but he didn't feel guilty, he felt slight happiness. The man could hurt him anymore. Reid knew he had had no choice but to kill the man.

Reid kept telling himself the words he knew he needed to convince himself he wasn't a cold bloody killer. It had been self defence.

Reid was ripped away from his thoughts when he heard footsteps outside the door. He knew that they could only belong to one person. They were the footsteps of Jay Henson. Reid bit his lip to stop himself from crying out in pain as he got to his feet. He leaned against the wall for support and looked around for something he could use to protect himself with. Reid hobbled over to the side unit and grabbed a small round metal pole. He hobbled back over and stood behind the door. He kept a tight grip on the pole, his breathing getting faster and faster as the footsteps came closer and closer. Reid froze as the handle to the door rattled and turned. Reid let the door open and hide him as he watched Jay walk in.

He watched as Jay froze at the sight of the bloody corpse in front of him.

Reid felt somthing snap inside him as he watched Jay walk into the room. Reid stepped forward and brought the pole down on Jay's head. Jay crumpled to the ground as he grabbed his head in pain. Reid hobbled a few steps towards Jay and watched as blood trickled down Jay's head.

Reid watched as Jay looked at him with a confused and fearful look.

"Please stop!" Jay gasped. It was then Reid felt anger and rage take control of him.

"Y-You never s-stopped when I b-begged you to s-stop," Reid screamed at the man as he brought the pole down on Jay's head with brutal force. Jay fell to the floor as he succumbed to the darkness.

Reid brought the pole down again onto Jay's head. He brought the pole down again...and again...and again.

**Please review, I would love to know what you thought of this chapter.**


	10. Chapter 10

**Hey everyone,**

**Firstly thank you so much! I have loved the reviews and I just want to thank you, they were all amazing reviews. **

**I just want to address the issue of people thinking it was a dream of Reid's that he had killed Jay. **

**I just want to clarify...JAY IS DEAD! Reid killed the sob for real.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Garcia ran as fast as she could in her heels up the stairs in the bullpen, she ran to the round table room where the team had gathered, they had been discussing a profile for the second men while she had finished her digital search for Jay Henson. Garcia almost ripped the door of its hinges as she ran into the room. She took a few seconds to catch her breath before she started to speak.

"I found the son of bitch! I found him, I know where Reid is," Garcia gasped as her body tried to catch up with her previous activity.

"You found him! How?" Hotch asked as he walked over to Garcia.

"I wondered how Jay Henson could have done so much in such a little amount of time after his escape, he had to have someone financing him. I got a hit on the guy in the video, it took a while because of some technical problems with another department system but I found out his name is Jason Hawn, he is Jay Henson's brother in law," Garcia explained.

"Jay Henson has a sister?" Hotch asked, he realised then he had never examined Jay Henson's family in detail, he had no idea that he had a sister.

"Yes, her current married name is Karen Hawn and technically it is her money being used. She inherited a lot of money from her mother while Jay recieved nothing. I guess even his mother knew he was a psychotic bastard. I searched through her records and its clear she has no control over the money. I don't even think she knows what her husband is doing with her brother or the money."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

"She has been to the hospital a lot with injuries consistent with people in abusive relationships, she was recently admitted with a broken arm but the police couldn't help her because she refused to talk or tell them how it happened. I looked through her financial records and I found that a small warehouse has been rented under her name. It was rented a week ago and is about twenty miles from here. I just know that Reid has to be there," Garcia explained further.

Hotch instantly went into his leadership stance. He knew that if anyone could find Reid it would be Garcia. He also knew that they had to get moving quickly. He didn't want to think what was happening to Reid, he didn't think about how every second of torture was like an hour to Reid.

"I want you all to get ready, I want us ready to go in ten minutes. Gideon and Garcia, stay here. We will call you if we find him," Hotch ordered the team. The team all instantly leapt from their seats and out of the room, every single one of them determined to go and get Reid back.

JJ wanted Reid back to bring him back into the BAU family, she wanted to show Reid that he was alone and that the team was there for him. She wanted to show Reid that he still had a family he could depend on. More than ever she wanted Reid to get to know Henry further, she wanted Henry to have his godfather back.

Emily loaded her gun, she thought of every bullet inside the gun. She wanted so badly to use a bullet on Jay when she found him. She hated what the man had done to Reid. Reid used to be the person she could always talk to, he had been the person who had seen her secrets with Ian Doyle. She had given him advice in the past and he had accepted it. They had become close friends since they had met when she first arrived at the BAU. She hoped that they could find Reid again, she hoped that they could be close friends again.

Rossi and Hotch both got ready in the same room. The silence between the two man was enough for them. Hotch could tell that Rossi wanted to get Reid back, he had only just come to see how much Rossi thought of Reid. Hotch knew that Rossi thought of Reid like a son. Hotch also thought of Reid as a son. The two men were both determined to get Reid back. They wanted Reid alive, safe and back with his family.

Morgan tried to calm himself but he found himself failing to do so, he wanted to get Reid back but he also wanted to rip the two men that had been hurting Reid limb from limb. Morgan knew that Reid had become stronger since he had detatched himself from the team but he also knew that deep down the old Reid was still there. The Reid that depended on his family for support and help.

Garcia felt helpless as she sat with Gideon in her office, there was nothing more she could do. The team had the location, she just prayed that the team found Reid. She prayed that they found her little genius.

Gideon looked at Garcia's vacant expression and knew that she was far in her mind with worry. Gideon knew that the team hated and despised him but he didn't care. He just wanted Reid back to the BAU safetly. He want the man who had never had a real father to know that he had one.

**Reid**

Reid didn't know how much time had passed as he sat slumped against the wall in the room where he had killed the unknown man, the room where he had also killed his tormentor Jay Henson. Reid was frozen, he barely moved his gaze from the two bodies in front of him. He didn't know how he had done it but he had just kept going with the pole. He had smashed it down upon Jay's head in a furious rage, a rage he had never known to exist inside of him. The rage inside him scared him, he had experienced what he was capable when he unleashed it. He looked at Jay's head and noticed that blood had poured from it, his tormentor was no longer recognisable. Reid let out a small giggle before he clamped his hand over his mouth in shock that he had just giggled at the fact he had killed two people.

He suddenly realised what the giggle was about as his mind kicked in. He was happy that it was finally over. The man that had almost killed him and ruined his life was dead and he had been the one to do it. He was never going to feel the man touching him again.

Reid jumped with fear as he the door outside the room was kicked open. Reid shuffled into the far corner as he heard footsteps outside. Reid jumped again as the door to his room was kicked open. His fear subsided slightly when he saw Morgan and Emily come in. They both stopped dead when they saw the two bodies. Reid's foot hit the table to his side causing a tool to clatter to the ground.

"Reid!" Emily gasped as she ran over to Reid and wrapped her arms around him gently. "I'm so happy that you are alive, we are going to get you to a hospital, we are here for you."

"I killed them," Reid whispered in her ear. Emily withdrew when she had heard Reid talk. Reid saw her turn to the men before looking back to him. Reid knew he wasn't going to have a chance to defend himself later so he started to talk really fast.

"T-The man t-tried to kill me and i-it was s-self defence, J-Jay walked in a-and I hit h-him with the p-pole, he p-pleaded with me t-to stop. I l-lost it. H-He never s-stopped w-when h-he hurt me, he never st-stopped. I j-just kept hitting h-him, I-I killed him," Reid sobbed as everything finally crashed down on him. He didn't see the rest of the team at the door, when he finally saw them he had no doubt that they had heard what he had done.

Rossi came and kneeled down beside Reid. He wrapped his arms around Reid as Reid cried. He rocked the man slightly and made soothing noises, he kept telling Reid that everything was going to be okay.

"Reid, you didn't do anything wrong. Everything is okay, we are here for you. Your family is here," Rossi told to Reid.

**Please review and I would love to know what direction you want the story to take. I want to take Reid in a strong direction and I want to tell you all that he will be strong. I just want to know what direction you want me to take this in. **


	11. Chapter 11

**Hey everyone, I am enjoying writing this and I want to say thank you all again for the reviews and I want to tell everyone that I will bringing in some elements that you have all asked me to bring it. I loved some of the ideas and I also have some very good news for you all.**

**I adore writing and I have all next week off work. **

**As a big treat for you all and to say thank you. I will be updating the fanfic with two chapters everyday from Monday. I still have a lot of chapters for this fanfic. I hope this might make the upcoming week a good week for you all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Eight hours later**

Rossi was barely reading the book in front of him, he was more focused on Reid's bruised form lying in the hospital bed next to him. Rossi remembered being back in the room as he held Reid's crying body, Reid had passed out in his arms causing the team to jump into action. They had rushed Reid to the hospital to be treated. Morgan had wanted to to stay with Reid the whole time but the doctors refused to let through the doors till they had treated Reid's injuries. Rossi had hated waiting to hear about how Reid was doing, he had hated being able to nothing for four hours as Reid was subjected to a vary of tests.

All hell had broken loose when the doctor came out. He explained that Reid had a missing tooth, a broken ankle, four broken ribs and three broken fingers. He also explained that Reid had a massive amount of bruising to his body and face. The team had remembered the fact that Reid had been the one to bash Jay's head in with a pole, they all cringed at how much pain Reid must have been feeling when using the pole. Both physically and emotionally.

Most of the team almost attacked the doctor when he told them that Reid had been restrained, they had found out that he was the escaped patient and obtained his records. The team had told the doctor what had happened and they had ordered the doctor to remove the restraints. Hotch had even threatened to sue the whole hospital if his right to make medical decisions for Reid was waived again. Rossi smiled at the memory of almost seeing the doctor wet himself, it was clear to Rossi that Reid's current doctor was very timid.

The entire team had come into see Reid a few hours ago, Garcia had left the room in tears with JJ and Emily by her side. Hotch and Morgan had stayed for a few mintues but left when they were called away to discuss Jay and Jason's bodies. Hotch and Morgan were going to make sure that Reid was not charged with anything. He had killed in self defense, the two words would be the final words written in any report.

Gideon had tried to see Reid but most of the team had blocked him. They still didn't trust Gideon and until Reid requested to see him they were not letting him into the room.

Rossi's attention returned to the present when he heard a small whine from the bed. Rossi saw Reid's eyes flutter and open, Reid licked his lips for a few moments. Rossi instantly poured Reid a cup of water and place it to Reid's lips. Reid drank the water greedily. He gave Rossi a small thankful smile. Rossi put the cup down before returning to chair. Reid turned to look at him.

"Hey kid, how are you feeling?" Rossi asked not knowing if Reid was going to talk to him properly. He knew Reid had been in an emotional state when they had found him.

"N-not in any p-pain so g-good there," Reid smiled sadly. "I feel s-strange t-though, I f-feel different."

"What do you mean?" Rossi asked, he was just happy that Reid was talking to him and not screaming at him to get out.

"I k-know I s-should feel something b-but I-I don't, I killed t-two people and I d-don't feel anything. I f-felt h-happy  
after I-I k-killed Jay. He c-can't hurt m-me anymore," Reid said in small voice.

"Reid, I know that you think you should feel bad for killing Jay but I'm telling you that feeling happy about killing Jay is normal for someone like you who has been through so much at the hands of the person killed. He hurt you in the most horrible ways, he almost destroyed you. I don't want you to dwell on what happened back in that room, I want you to focus of recovering. The team is going to handle everything. Just focus on the fact that he can't hurt you anymore, he is dead and you are alive. The world is better now," Rossi explained to Reid.

Reid gave Rossi a few small nods before he looked down at the white sheets for a few seconds.

"I'm s-sorry," Reid said.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Rossi asked confused.

"I-I'm sorry t-that I tried t-to kill m-myself and I'm so sorry a-about e-everything. I thought t-that you h-had all betrayed me w-when you sent me to t-that a-awful place. I felt so a-alone there and I t-thought you all t-thought I had gone c-crazy. I th-thought you had all just s-shipped me away to t-that place b-because you were t-tired of me," Reid said gently, he looked back up to Rossi with watery eyes.

"Reid, we didn't want to put you in that place, the doctor rejected Hotch's right to make your medical decisions because of what you had been through. We weren't even allowed to see you. Reid we hated not knowing what was happening with you and we will never ever leave you again. We are your family and we will always take care of you. Never think that you are alone in this world. You will never be sent anywhere again and trust me when I tell you that hospital is going to be investigated. Reid, you have nothing to be sorry for. It is us that should be sorry. We should have protected you and we failed," Rossi said passionately.

"I s-said such awful t-things though. I'm s-stronger now a-and I know t-that, I know t-that I can g-get back to normal but I'm still h-haunted by h-how I have treated y-you all. E-everyone dies n-near me, Eric died t-trying to p-protect me. I-I don't want all of y-you dying trying to p-protect me."

"Reid, don't blame yourself for Eric's death. Jay was the one who killed him. Reid, every single member of this team would die to protect you. I would die to protect you. Reid, we know that you are strong. We have always known you are strong. Reid don't dwell on the past, focus on the future," Rossi smiled gently.

Reid closed his eyes for a few moments and took a few deep breaths to calm himself. He opened them to look back at Rossi.

"C-can you get G-Garcia? I need to t-talk with her," Reid asked Gideon.

"She is in the waiting room, I'll go get her for you," Rossi smiled again, he went over to Reid and gave Reid a small gentle hug. Reid had tensed at first but had returned the hug.

"It's good to have back with us," Rossi whispered in Reid's ear before he went outside the room.

Rossi returned with a happy Garcia a few minutes later. Garcia and Reid stared at each other before Garcia ran to the side of the bed, she leaned over and hugged Reid as gently as she was able to, she made sure he stayed laid down. Reid immediately hugged her back as tight as he could, he ignored the pain shooting through his arms and hand.

"I-I'm so s-sorry Garcy," Reid cried into her shoulder.

"Shhhh..baby genius. Your back with us, that is all that matters."

**Please review and again thank you for reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

**Hey everyone, firstly sorry for this being a bit of a short chapter but I have been a bit busy today. **

**Thank you for all the reviews, you all again are brilliant and I send out virtual cupcakes.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Two days later**

Garcia smiled as she watched Reid devour one her famous cupcakes, they sat happily together watching the television and eating an array of sweet treats that Garcia had brought for Reid. Garcia felt happier than she had in a long time, she had missed Reid so much and she was content with just sitting with him. She had spent almost two months trying to see him through CCTV to just make sure that he was alright, she knew though that the mental hospital had been hell for him. She would see his eyes darken at the mention of being there.

"Garcy, d-do you think that I-I'm a b-bad person?" Reid said as he still stared at the television. Garcia sighed and looked to Reid, it was clear to her that he was still struggling with his most recent abduction.

"No, I think you are good, you are purest person I know. Is this about Jay and Jason?" Garcia asked, she regretting asking when she saw Reid flinch at the two men's names. Reid bit his lower lip nervously again.

"I'm n-not pure, I-I'm tainted with w-what I did. I'm h-happy t-that they can't h-hurt me anymore and I kn-know I had to k-kill them or else they w-would have k-killed me. I just f-feel as if I should h-have died a long t-time ago, I don't kn-know what keeps me a-alive. I f-feel like k-killing t-them made me into o-one of them," Reid admitted, he turned to look at Garcia.

Garcia was shocked at what Reid had just told her. She never thought that Reid would feel that way. She got off her seat and sat on the edge of the Reid's bed. She gently turned Reid's chin so that he was facing, she moved her hand to stroke his cheek. Reid leaned into her hand slightly, he was comforted by her hand.

"Spencer Reid, you are a good man, you are a strong man. You are a source of good in the world, you always have been and you will continue to be. I never want you to think that you are like them. I never want you to think that killing them made you into one them. They were evil and the world is a better place now that they are dead. You are not tainted by what you did and you know the reason why you stay alive, you fight to stay alive because you know that you still have so much more life ahead of you. I want you to remember that you are good and that you are blessed with a family that will always look out for you," Garcia said softly.

"Th-Thank you for s-saying that, I-I need to ask you s-something and I-I want you t-to be h-honest on me. I-If I develop s-schizophrenia will the team still b-be t-there for me? I won't b-blame you i-if you all l-left me then but I just n-needed to ask."

"Reid, we will always take care of you. We will always make sure that you are safe, we would stay with you. We would make sure that you were never alone again," Garcia said honestly. Reid looked into her eyes and knew that she telling him the truth.

"T-Thank you," Reid smiled sadly. He was happy that Garcia would stay with him if he ever became like his mother but part of him knew it was wrong to ask her if she would stay. He didn't want the team to sacrifice their lives for him, he didn't want to hinder them moving on in their lives.

Garcia grabbed another pink cupcake and put it in front of Reid.

"Can you eat another one for me? You have no idea how much joy I get from seeing you eat," Garcia smiled at him.

"C-Can I have a b-blue icing one?" Reid smirked back at her slightly. Garcia chuckled gently before she went to the box of cupcakes and pulled out a blue one. She handed it to Reid and watched as he began to lick the icing off the top.

**Rossi - a few hours later**

Rossi walked into Reid's room with a bag full of books for Reid. He did not expect to see what he saw when he walked into the room. Garcia was asleep in the chair with a blanket snuggled around her while Reid was asleep with a small teddy bear by his side. It was obvious that Garcia had paid a visit to the gift shop while he had been gone. Rossi was about to close the door when a voice spoke up. A voice that Rossi instantly knew was Reid's.

"You can c-come in," Reid said gently, he looked to Garcia and was happy that she was in a deep sleep. Rossi smiled before he went to the other side of the bed, he sat on the edge and placed the books on the bed. He saw Reid's face light up as he pulled out a few of the books.

"I've missed r-reading m-my books," Reid said as he brushed his hand over the books.

"I thought that you would want to read so I brought these along. How are you feeling Reid?" Rossi asked.

"I feel o-okay, s-still go-going to need s-some time."

"You take all the time you need," Rossi told him.

**Please review and remember I will updating twice a day all this week**


	13. Chapter 13

**Hey everyone, I will be posting another chapter in few hours and I am sorry for the delay but I have had to spring clean my house today as I have a visitor tomorrow. **

**Thank you again for the reviews.**

**Reid is going to be shown stronger in a few chapters time but I want him to recover. His strength will be shown when he returns to the BAU. Along with the troubles he is going to have.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Four days later**

"Morgan, be careful with him! You almost hit his head on the doorframe!" Garcia snapped at Morgan. Morgan realised how close he had come to hitting Reid's head on the door and knew Garcia was right to scold him. Morgan looked down at Reid's sleeping form in his arms. Morgan and Garcia were bringing Reid back from the hospital, Garcia had jumped at the chance to look after Reid and had offered to look after him for a few days on the condition that Reid stayed in her apartment. Garcia had already arranged to take some personal days from work to look after him.

Reid had fallen asleep in the SUV on the way to Garcia's apartment. Morgan didn't want to wake Reid up so he had carried him up to the apartment. Morgan smiled as he walked into Garcia's apartment, he always smiled when he walked into her apartment due to how happy it always felt. Morgan carried Reid over to Garcia's bed and tucked him in, he had to admit he was amazed that Reid had not woken up.

"How can he sleep so much? He was asleep all last night and all this morning," Morgan wondered as he went to Garcia's side.

"He has been through a lot, his entire body has been put through. The more he sleeps the better," Garcia said to Morgan before pulling on Morgan's hand and leading him out of the room. Garcia took one more look at Reid's sleeping form. She knew that the team had been treating him like a baby over the last few days but she knew it was nessecary to treat him in such a way.

To Garcia, Reid was like glass. He was fragile and needed to be handled with great care.

"Sleep tight," Garcia whispered before closing the door, she left it open a crack in case Reid needed her quickly.

**Three hours later**

**Reid**

_Reid felt confused as he found himself standing inside the BAU, he looked around and saw that no-one was around. Reid looked up to the round table room, he walked up the stairs towards the room hoping that the team were in there. Reid walked up the stairs and opened the door. He want to throw up at the sight that greeted him._

_They were all dead. Everyone was dead. Reid fell to his knees when he saw Garcia slumped in one of the chairs, her entire stomach was coated with blood, her skin was pale and her eyes were still with no life to be seen in them. Reid looked around and saw that everyone had blood coating them, it dripped from their hands. Reid couldn't breathe as he saw all the blood._

_There was so much blood._

_Reid jumped when he heard a voice from behind him, a voice that was all too familiar to him. It was his own voice. Reid whipped round to see a version of himself leaning against the wall. Reid's eyes went wide with fear when he saw that the other version of him had hands covered in blood._

_"Why did you do it?" Reid said to the other version of himself. Reid knew that he had to be dreaming._

_"I did what I had to, they were blocking me, blocking us from moving on with our lives. Besides it felt good and you have to admit that killing those two men felt good. You wouldn't have smashed that pole into Jay's head without realising what the outcome was going to be," the evil version of Reid smiled._

_"I killed Jay and Jason because I had to. Why would you kill the team? They have did nothing to deserve this," Reid shouted at the other him. Reid knew he had to be dreaming, at least he hoped he was dreaming. He knew that this couldn't be real, he was talking properly and he wasn't able to do that in reality._

_"Stop lying to yourself, you don't forgive them for what they did. The hell they put you through, you know that Garcia lied to you about staying if you went crazy. They abandoned you and you need to stop acting like you forgive them. They didn't come to your rescue, you rescued yourself. Beside I didn't kill them, you did," the evil Reid said before looking down to the good Reid's hands._

_Reid looked down to his hands and lifted his hand up to see that he was holding a blade dripping with blood. Reid vorught his other hand up and noticed it was also covered in blood._

_"You are a murderer now," the evil version laughed._

Reid jolted awake and realised he was breathing quickly. Reid tried to get up but he fell back into his pillows with pain running through his chest.

"G-Garcy," Reid yelled as loud as he could. Reid heard footsteps rally towards his room, the door whipped open and Garcia ran to Reid's shaking form.

"What is wrong? Are you okay?" Garcia asked as she checked Reid over.

"I h-had a n-nightmare, I'm o-okay. I j-just needed to s-see that y-you are s-safe," Reid gasped slightly as he tried to calm himself.

"I'm fine, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere," Garcia tried to soothe.

"I-I'm s-sorry," Reid said before he reached his hand over to hers and grabbed it, it was his uninjured hand that cradled hers.

"For what?" Garcia asked confused.

"For making y-you t-take care of m-me," Reid told her. He couldn't say what he was really sorry for.

'I want to say sorry for killing you in my dream' Reid thought.

"Oh genius, I am here to take care of you, I wouldn't want it any other way," Garcia smiled at him.

**Please review and again sorry for delay today**


	14. Chapter 14

**Hey everyone, I am so so so so so so sorry! I am really sorry for not updating like I promised but some personal issues came up and I have had a bit of a rough week. I couldn't write properly and I didn't want to post chapters that would not meet my writing standards.**

**I am so so sorry again. Please forgive me. ( Puppy dog eyes)**

**Okay so I hope you like this chapter. **

**Thank you for the reviews. Thank you for asking how I was Namira. I promise that daily updates will continue now as normal. **

**Enjoy and please review. **

**All mistakes are my own**

**One week later**

Garcia hid around the kitchen door as she watched Reid watching television. She nursed the hot chocolate that she was holding, her mind was too focused on Reid's current state. Physically she knew that Reid was beginning to recover, his bruises seemed to look less brutal but they were still there. They were still dark and marks of what he had been through. His fingers were still strapped and kept stable. Garcia inwardly cringed as she remembered Reid yelping in pain when he had hit his broken fingers accidentally on the table. He had gotten so angry that it had scared her, he had screamed about how he was always in pain and life was being cruel to him. Garcia had calmed him down but had seen him get angrier and angrier over the past week if something went wrong. His ankle and ribs were healing well but this only added to his fustration if he overexerted himself.

Garcia knew that Reid was hiding a pain that he wasn't will to tell the team. She knew that the pain was eating away at him, she just wished that he would talk to her about it.

Garcia was disturbed by a knock on her door, she put her coffee to on the kitchen side and made her way to the door. Reid had not even bothered to look up from the television set. Garcia opened the door and smiled when she saw the door men at her door.

"Hey Hotch. Hey Morgan," she smiled before she opened the door, she grabbed each of them and gave them a small hug which they happily returned.

Hotch and Morgan entered the apartment and looked at Reid. They exchanged concerned looks when they saw the empty look in Reid's eyes. Garcia motioned for the two men to come into the kitchen with her, they followed her into the kitchen.

"Is he okay?" Hotch said quietly, he didn't want Reid to overhear them.

"He's hiding something, he is hiding more pain than I can see. Physically I think he feels fine, he is recovering well and he has his pain medication to help with the pain but emotionally I think he is struggling. He keeps having nightmares and he refuses to talk about them. He has his good times and his bad times. Today is a bad day, he didn't get much sleep last night," Garcia said in a hushed tone.

"I can see today is a bad day, he is just staring at the television like a zombie. How much sleep did he get?" Morgan asked Garcia.

"About four hours, he lied and said that he had more but I peeked a look from the sofa, he was reading a book and he was reading a different book when I checked on him later on in the night. I'm worried that he isn't going to recover properly unless he gets more sleep," Garcia whispered to them, worry pulsing from her voice.

"Can we give him anything?" Hotch asked.

"What do you mean?" Morgan questioned.

"I know that the doctor gave him a few sleeping tablets, has he taken any of them?" Hotch said to Garcia.

"He won't take them, he almost ripped my head off when I tried to offer him one. He apologised profusely after. What are you suggesting?" Garcia asked Hotch, she knew what Hotch was thinking but she needed him to confirm her thoughts.

"I'm suggesting that we slip one into his drink, I wouldn't do it unless I didn't think it was nessecary but he needs his rest and he needs to sleep without the risk of waking up. If you don't think its a good idea then we won't do it," Hotch said, he was sick of seeing Reid looking so tired. He just wanted Reid to have a break from the nightmares that were plaguing the young man.

Garcia wanted argue but she knew that Hotch was right, she had seen how angry Reid had been getting because of his lack of sleep, he had been more clumsy and he had been nodding off during meal times. Garcia knew if Reid found out that he would be furious with them. She decided then and there that she would deal with Reid later.

"I'll get him a glass of milk and slip some in there but just don't tell him. He needs to sleep, I can't take hearing him get angry again," Garcia agreed. Garcia grabbed the tablets from the cupboard, Morgan grabbed some milk from the fridge. He filled a glass up and passed it to Garcia. She had crushed some tablets and she put the tablet remains into the glass.

"I'll give it to him," Hotch offered. Garcia nodded and passed the glass to Hotch, she bit her lower lip as she watched Hotch nervously.

**Hotch**

Hotch walked into the living room and sat down next to Reid. Reid turned his head when he noticed that Hotch had sat next to him, he looked down and the glass and let out a long sigh.

"H-hey H-Hotch," Reid said quietly. Hotch could see that Reid was fighting to stay awake as he spoke to him.

"You need to drink something Reid, can you drink this for me? It'll give us peace and mind to know that you have a little calcium in you," Hotch told Reid before he offered the drink to Reid's hands. Reid looked at the drink with a weary gaze. Reid sighed and carefully took the milk away from Hotch, Reid lifted the milk to his lips and began to drink the milk. Hotch let out a small breath when he saw Reid gulp the milk down. Reid finished the milk and handed the glass back to Hotch.

Hotch let out at a small chuckle when Reid burped. Reid let out a small smile as well when he realised what he had done.

Hotch and Reid talked for a few more minutes. The conversation being slightly one sided as Reid wasn't in the mood to talk. Hotch watched as Reid started to become drowsy. Hotch placed a pillow on the end of the sofa and guided Reid down onto it. He lifted Reid's ankle onto another pillow, he was careful to avoid hurting Reid. Reid moaned as he succumbed to the sleep his body craved.

"Shhh..get some sleep and rest, everything is okay," Hotch said to Reid as he pulled covers over him.

Garcia looked on from the kitchen and felt so happy when she saw Reid fall asleep, she smiled as she watched Reid put him into a comfortable position.

"Please don't let him have nightmares," Garcia prayed.

**Please review**

**Also how awesome was the season finale. I loved it! I think that episode taught us all you don't mess with momma JJ.**


	15. Chapter 15

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. I hope that you all enjoy this chapter. **

**This chapter is focused more on Hotch, Garcia and Morgan as I wanted to show them a bit more. **

**Also yes the previous chapter was a typo, I will change it. I spotted it after I had turned off the laptop.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch returned to the kitchen with the glass, he placed it into the sink and turned to face Morgan and Garcia. They stayed silent for a moment before they began to confront the issues that needed to be discussed.

"I'm worried about him," Garcia sighed, she walked over to Morgan, he happily put his arms around her and pulled her into a hug.

"We are all worried about him. He looks like he hasn't a decent night sleep in ages, we had to sneak him some sleeping pills to get him to sleep properly. I think that it isn't the torture that is haunting him, I think he is haunted by the fact that he killed two people. Don't get me wrong, Jay and Jason were two people that deserved to die after what they did to him," Morgan said, his voice carrying an edge of anger when he said the names of the two men that had hurt Reid.

"He still killed two people. You know how Reid is, he felt guilty after he kill Tobias. We have to confront the issue though, he killed them in self defence but the way he killed them is what I'm worried about. He beat Jay's head to a bloody pulp, I had no idea that Reid was capable of having so much anger within him and it worries me that if he was come back to BAU that his anger would cause problems," Hotch said.

"We all have anger inside of us Hotch. Reid killed Jay and he used his anger to do it. He had every right to use that anger, especially after everything he has been through. He isn't the only one to beat someone to death," Morgan pointed out. Morgan didn't want to bring up Hotch and Foyet but he needed to make Hotch realise better why Reid had displayed so much anger.

"Point taken," Hotch said stoically. Morgan and Hotch shared a look to signify that nothing more needed to be said about the past.

"He is still angry though. I think that he wants some independence back but he can't have it back till his injuries are healed," Garcia told them.

"Is he angry at you or at us for trying to take care of him?" Hotch asked her.

"No he isn't angry at us, at least I hope that he isn't. He is struggling with a lot of things but I think that he is glad to have us here looking after him. He lets me sit on the sofa with him, when I stroke my hand through his hair and he was so calm. I've missed taking care of him so much, I just want him to get better. I just want him to have something good in his life. I just want my junior g-man back to himself," Garcia cried gently. Morgan pulled her into a tighter hug and kissed the top of her head.

Morgan hated seeing Garcia so worried and distraught. He felt the same, his entire being wanted the old Reid back but he knew that the possibility of Reid returning to the way he was before everything had happened was slim. He knew deep down that Reid would never return fully to the man he once was. He knew that Reid would always be marked and scarred by everything that Jay Henson had done to him, he would forever be marked by the brutality of a mad man.

"He'll get back to being the genius that we all know is still there inside him. He'll get back to the same kid that always wear the same converses," Morgan said to try and cheer Garcia up.

"I hope he does," Garcia sniffed.

Hotch decided then that they needed to bring up another issue. Hotch had only heard small details of what Reid had through in the mental hospital. He needed to know what happened to Reid. Hotch hated the fact that Reid had suffered in that place while he had been helpless to do anything.

"Garcia, has Reid spoken to you about what happened to him in the hospital?" Hotch asked. Garcia looked at him and shook her head.

"No, I tried bring it up but he refused to speak with me about it and when I push the issue, he got angry."

"When he wakes up we need to find out what happened to him in that place, something happened in there that he isn't telling us and that we don't know. I know he was beaten but there is something else, I know that there is," Hotch said to them.

"He wants to speak with the mother of Eric, the young man that he escaped with. The one that Jay killed. He asked me last night if I could find her. I wanted to see what though I should do before I located her," Garcia said to Hotch.

"Find her," Hotch answered.

"I'll get Kevin on it," Garcia nodded.

Twelve hours later - Reid

Reid sluggishly opened his eyes when he felt something brushing through his hair. He knew what had roused him from his sleep before he had even opened his eyes. The hand running through his hair belonged to his guardian angel, a guardian angel called Garcia.

Reid turned to look at her and smiled.

"Garcy, did I-I f-fall asleep?"

"Yeah, it's eight in the evening. You've been asleep for twelve hours straight. You look better though, I guess that you just needed a nice long sleep," Garcia smiled back at him. She decided not to tell him about the sleeping tablets unless he said anything.

"W-Where is H-Hotch?" Reid questioned even though his mind told him that the man had left hour and hours ago.

"Hotch and Morgan had to go to work but they will be here in about fifteen minutes, they want to talk to you about some things."

"W-What th-things?" Reid asked.

"Just a few things."

Garcia knew that all hell was going to break loose in her apartment when Hotch started to ask Reid questions, she just hoped that Reid didn't get too upset.

She hoped that she could keep it together.

**Please review**


	16. Chapter 16

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. **

**There will be a new chapter in a few hours, I have some extra time today and I have got my writing groove back. **

**Enjoy the chapter and please review**

**Thank you all the reviews, they are all amazing. I love reading them and you have no idea how much joy I feel when I see that I have a new one. Cupcakes for all**

**All mistakes are my own**

Hotch and Morgan pulled up outside of Reid's apartment, both of them sat for a moment in the car. They knew that Reid was doing better but they also knew that Reid was not the kind of person to share easily. He was a young man that liked to keep things to himself.

"Are you ready to do this?" Morgan asked Hotch.

"No but it needs to be done. We need answers to some things and he is the only one that can give them. Come on," Hotch said before he hopped out of his car. Morgan hopped out from the passenger side with a bag. Hotch knew that Morgan was intending to stay over to help Garcia. They both knew that this was going to be rough, Garcia and Reid were going to need support tonight.

**Reid**

Reid felt comfortable as he leaned into the large soft pillows that Garcia had put against the sofa arm. He switched on the television and watched a cooking programme. He knew that he wasn't really watching it but he also knew that he didn't want to talk about things he knew Garcia wanted to ask him. Reid heard a knock at the door, he didn't look away from the television. He already knew who was behind the door and he also knew that the people behind the door had questions at the edge of their lip. Questions he did not want to answer. Reid watched from the corner of his eye as Garcia opened the door.

He finally looked up when Hotch pulled over a chair and sat down in front of him. Morgan sat down on the floor while Garcia pulled up another chair.

"Hey Reid, how are you feeling?" Hotch asked.

"F-Fine, j-just been w-watching t-televison," Reid sighed back before turning his attention back to the cooking programme.

Hotch quickly grabbed the remote from the table and switched the television off. Reid sighed again heavily before he pulled the covers up over his chest.

"Reid, I need to ask you some things. I know that you don't want to talk about what had happened to you over the last few months but we need to know some things. It will help to talk about what happened back in the mental hospital," Hotch said gently. Reid tensed at the mention of the mental hospital.

"I-I don't w-want to talk about i-it," Reid said, a mix of anger and fear leaking into his voice.

"Reid, what did they do to you in that place? You need to talk about it. We aren't leaving until you do," Morgan said.

Reid felt a small tear leak from the corner of his eye as a rush of memories come forward. The memories were mixed though, some of the memories were of his childhood while some were focused on the mental hospital. Reid quickly wiped the tear from his cheek, he knew that the others had noticed the sudden look of sadness and pain in his eyes. Reid decided that he just wanted to be left alone. He knew the only way to do that was to tell them what happened. He didn't want to though, he didn't want to talk to the team. It had been their fault that he had ended up there in the first place.

"I-I was f-forced to d-do things I-I didn't w-want to do," Reid almost whispered.

"What did they force you to do?" Garcia said, her voice wavering as she started to feel for Reid.

"I di-didn't want t-to t-take my med-medication so the g-guards would hold m-me down on m-my bed, they w-would put the p-pills in my m-mouth and hold my n-nose till I swallowed t-them. I tried to help a-another pa-patient when o-one of the n-nurses w-was telling h-him his illness w-was his fault. A few g-guards grabbed me a f-few hours l-later and th-threatened me. One of t-them hit me and I-I had a bruise on m-my face. They w-would beat m-me up wh-when I d-did something w-rong. I s-tood up for E-Eric once. They di-didn't like me s-standing up t-to them so they took me b-behind the g-garden and beat me up, that is all they did," Reid sniffled as he wiped a few stray tears from his cheeks.

"Reid, tell me what else they did to you that night," Hotch said as he sensed Reid wasn't telling him the entire truth.

"They didn't d-do anything e-else to m-me!" Reid snapped angrily. Reid was not going to tell them what happened, he couldn't. He wouldn't tell them.

"Reid, they did something to you. We need to know, we are here for you," Morgan said to try and push Reid.

"Stop asking m-me! T-they didn't t-touch me!" Reid said angrily. "A-few d-days after t-that night, they l-locked me i-in a cupboard in t-the dark."

Morgan walked over to Reid and sat on the edge on the sofa to face Reid. Reid refused to look Morgan in the eye.

"Reid, look me in the eye right now," Morgan said softly. Reid looked up into Morgan's eyes, Morgan stared at Reid for few moments and suddenly leaned down. He carefully scooped Reid into a hug causing Garcia and Hotch to give Morgan confused glances.

"I'm so sorry," Morgan whispered into Reid's ear. Reid started to shake in Morgan's arms, Morgan then realised that Reid had started to cry on his shoulder. Reid cried gently into Morgan's shoulder.

"You are okay now, you are not going back there. You are never being left alone again. It's okay...shh," Morgan soothed.

**Please review**


	17. Chapter 17

**Hey everyone, new chapter for you all. **

**Okay so yes part of me thinks I went a bit too far but I decided that I would continue in this direction. In about two chapters I am going to time jump a bit so just giving a heads up on that. I will also point out that people have done a lot worse to Reid in fanfics. **

**Still it is always lovely when your mum hears about what you have been writing and she wonders if you are slightly demonic.**

**Thank you for the reviews, you awesome angels. (P.s Namira, I added a nice long Reid and Morgan)**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan held Reid as Reid cried into shoulder. He turned to the others.

"Can you guys give us a few minutes alone?" Morgan asked them. Hotch nodded and led a worried Garcia into the kitchen. Morgan lifted Reid away from his shoulder and laid him back against the pillow. Reid's breathing hitched slightly as he cried, Morgan grabbed tissue and handed it to Reid. Reid took it from Morgan, the entire tissue shook as Reid wiped the tears from his cheeks. Morgan made sure that Hotch and Garcia were out of earshot before he began to talk to Reid.

"Reid, I'm sorry that you were hurt that way."

"H-How did y-you k-know?" Reid said.

"I can see it in your eyes and I was able to connect some dots. You didn't want to talk about the place, the way you reacted when you were at Gideon's house. Is that why you thought you were worthless when Rossi and Gideon were arguing?" Morgan asked him. Reid nodded before pulled the cover over himself some more.

"I've c-come to d-deal w-with what they d-did. It h-happened about a w-week before I g-got out. Please d-don't s-send me back t-there," Reid pleaded with Morgan.

"You are never going back there little bro, I'm going to make sure that the people who did this to you pay," Morgan said although his voice became angry at the end of his sentence. "Reid, can you tell me who hurt you in the garden?"

"H-He was a s-security guard. W-when the o-others had finished k-kicking t-the crap o-out of me, they l-left me there. He j-just a-ttacked m-me. I-I-It j-just-" Reid said before he began to hyperventilate. Morgan knew that Reid was going back into a memory that he didn't need to remember. Morgan gripped the side of Reid's head and began to try get through to him.

"Reid, come on little brother don't go back there. Listen to my voice and come back to the present," Morgan urged the vacant eyed Reid. Morgan breathed a sigh of relief when he saw Reid focus back on him.

"I d-don't want t-to t-talk about it a-any-more," Reid whispered to Morgan.

"It's okay...shhh. You don't have to say anything else. Try and get a little more sleep while I make you something to eat," Morgan soothed to Reid. Morgan could see that Reid was shaken to the core, he also knew that Reid needed to eat something. Morgan felt a rush of anger at the people who had hurt Reid. He was going to kill the guard that had-, Morgan couldn't even face the word for what the guard had done to Reid.

"C-can you stay w-with m-me till I f-fall a-asleep?" Reid as he grabbed Morgan's hand.

"Yeah, I'll stay. I'm not going anywhere," Morgan smiled at Reid. Morgan stayed with Reid for a few minutes, he watched as Reid's eyes closed and stay shut. Morgan carefully got off the sofa, he put Reid's hand under the cover and made sure Reid was warm. Morgan walked into the kitchen to be greeted with two concerned faces.

Morgan went to the fridge and pulled out various fruits, he placed them on the side and grabbed a knife. He began to cut the fruit while Garcia and Hotch looked on.

"Morgan, are you okay? What happened with Reid?" Garcia asked as she watched Morgan's shaking hands cut the fruit into small slices.

"He needs something to eat, fruit is healthy. He needs to eat healthy things," Morgan mumbled as he cut the fruit. It scared Garcia to see Morgan so worried and scared.

"Morgan. Is Reid going to be okay?" Garcia asked as she walked up to Morgan and put her hand on his shoulder, Morgan stopped cutting the fruit when he felt Garcia's hand on his shoudlder. He put the knife down to the board slowly and turned to Garcia.

"Someone forced him-, someone assualted him. A security guard at the mental hospital. I can't believe that I put him that place, I can't believe that he was hurt that way and its because I wasn't there to help him. His my little brother and I didn't protect him," Morgan said to Garcia. Hotch knew by the way that Morgan was speaking was to him that Morgan had been deeply affected by the discussion he had just come from.

Garcia and Hotch both felt shock at hearing what had happened to Reid. Garcia put her hand over her mouth in shock and turned walked to the doorway to the living room. She looked at Reid's sleeping form and felt her heart shatter to know what had happened to him. Hotch felt anger, he felt a fury at what had happened to Reid. Hotch wanted to find the person that had hurt Reid and make him pay. He needed to be strong though, Morgan was struggling and Garcia had retreated into the corner in shock.

"Morgan, don't blame yourself. Blame the people that put Reid in that place, we didn't put him there. I'm going to make sure that every bastard that hurt Reid pays for what they did. Morgan, I want you to take the next few days and be there for Reid. He needs support about what happened and you are the one he needs for that support," Hotch said to Morgan. Morgan came back to reality when he heard Hotch.

"Okay. I'm going to take his meds and some fruit to him," Morgan said shakily. "He needs support and he needs to get stronger, fruit makes you healthier."

Morgan walked back into the living room and sat back down on the edge of the sofa. He watched as Reid slept. He knew that Reid was in for a tough time. Morgan also knew that Reid was strong. With a little help, he knew that Reid could recover.

He hoped that Reid would recover.

**Please review**

**Also, now that Paget had left criminal minds, I was wondering about people's thoughts on a new character being introduced or the team being left as it is for next season. Personally I would love to see a certain actor on the team but I would love to know what you are all thinking. **


	18. Chapter 18

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter.**

**Okay so thank you all so much for the reviews, you are all amazing and I am glad that people haven't minded what direction I took the fanfic in. Okay so there will be one more chapter with Reid recovering and then the time jump will happen. I will be time jumping to him and his future at the BAU. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistake are my own.**

**Warning - Mentions of rape.**

**Two days later**

Morgan,Hotch and Rossi were speeding down the road to the house that belonged to the security guard who had attacked Reid. The man was currently unemployed due to the investigation on the mental hospital. All three of the men were determined to confront the man that had assaulted Reid. Rossi had been told what had happened, both Hotch and Morgan had never seen Rossi so angry in the time that they had known him. Hotch pulled up onto the curb outside the man's house. Morgan was already out of the car and storming towards the house. Hotch and Rossi quickly followed behind him.

"Jacob Harris!" Morgan yelled as he pounded his fist on the door. Hotch and Rossi stood behind Morgan. The door whipped open to reveal a middle aged man, all three of the men could smell alcohol from him.

"What the hell do you want?" the man slurred slightly. All three men pulled out their badges. Jacob's eye's went wide when he saw the badges, he straightened himself up trying to appear more sober.

"We have a few questions for you. Questions concerning an attack at the hospital where you were employed," Rossi said to the man, Rossi kept his poker face up but he knew that he was close to losing his temper.

"I don't know what you are talking about, besides talk to the people who are investigating the center. I don't know  
anything," the man slurred nervously.

"We know that you attacked a man a month ago! You let other people beat the hell out him and then you forced yourself on him you piece of shit. He is an FBI agent!" Morgan screamed at the man. Hotch watched as Jacob's eye's went wide. Jacob turned and started to run through his house. Morgan raced after man with Rossi and Hotch at his heels.

Morgan grabbed Jacob before he was able to get out of the kitchen door and slammed him into the wall. Morgan grabbed the man by the throat and held him against the wall.

"Why did you do it?" Morgan yelled at the man. Jacob flinched at the anger in Morgan's words. Morgan relaxed his grip around the man's throat only a fraction to allow the man to speak.

"I didn't-" Jacob gasped before he was cut off by Rossi.

"He told us what you did you sick bastard. Now, you listen to me. I have a gun with the safety on, if you don't admit to what you did I am going to click the safety off and blow away something that is precious to you."

Jacob gulped and a look of defeat fell across his face.

"Fine," Jacob gasped. "I did it, I raped him. I was drunk though, I didn't think the crazy shit would tell anyone. It was a mistake, I'm sorry."

Hotch threw his fist into the Jacob's nose causing the man to whine in pain. Morgan let the man fall to the floor. All three men looked at man with digust. Hotch grabbed Jacob by his collar and pulled him up.

"You are coming with us and you are going to tell the police what you did. The man you raped had already been through hell and you did that to him. Did it make you feel like a man when you held him down? Did you not listen to him when he pleaded with you to leave him alone? He told us what you did, he told us how you covered his mouth so no-one would hear him scream," Hotch shouted at the Jacob before throwing another punch into the bastard's face.

"It was a mi-mistake, I'm sorry," Jacob winced as he felt pain from his broken nose and blackened eye.

"You hurt him, you hurt a man who has done nothing wrong in his life. He has been through hell and you did that to him. You are coming with us and trust me when I tell you that you are going to be spending some time in prison," Hotch shouted again before he nodded his head toward Morgan.

Morgan stepped forward and took Jacob out of Hotch's hand, he handcuffed the man and started to drag him out the house. Rossi and Hotch stood in the kitchen as they took in what the Jacob's had just said.

"You alright?" Rossi asked a shaking Hotch.

"No, I'm not. You alright?" Hotch said to Rossi.

"No I'm not alright either, I don't think I will be alright till I see Reid again," Rossi said sadly.

"Same. Come on, let's take this bastard to the station," Hotch said before he walked out the house and to the SUV.

**Reid**

Reid could hear the three women talking in the kitchen. He was laying on the sofa with a hot chocolate in his hands, he had been given it by Garcia when JJ and Emily had come round. He knew what they were talking about, they were talking about what had happened to him. Morgan, Hotch and Rossi had asked him about the attack, they kept asking him what had happened till he broke down and told them everything.

He hated putting such a burden on the team. He had wanted to keep it to himself. Reid remembered being dragged back to his room by security guard that had hurt him, he remembered staying in his room unless he was forced to attend a session. He had scrubbed himself clean the night of his attack. He had had time to come to terms with what happened to him. He knew that the man would never be put in prison for what he had done.

Reid knew that no-one would believe an ex mental patient.

Reid placed his hot chocolate on the table, he pulled the covers off himself. Reid lifted himself up, the pain that ran  
through him was dull due to his pain medication. He bit his lip to stop himself from making any noise. He picked up his crutches and used his palm and the fingers that were not broken to grab the crutch. He hobbled carefully to the bathroom, his entire ribs killed but they were not as painful as they had been.

Reid closed the door and sat on the side of the tub. He just needed a few moments away from everyone. He needed time to to listen to own thoughts.

Reid stayed sitting on the side of the tub for a few minutes before he heard someone calling for him.

"Reid!" Garcia shouted again. He jumped slightly when the bathroom door whipped open to reveal three very worried women.

"Reid, don't ever give a fright like that again," Garcia scolded before she walked over to the tub and sat next to Reid.

Reid shuffled foward and put his arms around Garcia, he hugged her as tight as he could. She wrapped her arms around him and held him as he leaned against her shoulder.

"I'm s-sorry f-for m-making y-you worry. C-can y-you h-elp me back to t-the sofa?" Reid asked her gently.

"Of course I can, come on g-man. I've got some fresh cupcakes for you to feast on," Garcia smiled.

**Hope that was okay. Please review**

**Also for those who like a bit of Reid whump, I would like to recommend a fanfic called Alone In Hysteria, it's a fanfic that I co-wrote with my muse Alison Burns. I would also recommend her fanfics for some good Reid ****whump.**

**Please review**


	19. Chapter 19

**Hey everyone,**

**I decided to have a nice chapter as I feel that Reid needs a happy day. I hope you like this chapter.**

**Thank you the reviews, they are wonderful. I would love a few more as I would love some more feedback. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own ( I walked into a door today and have a headache that is messing with my head so forgive mistakes today)  
**

Reid could help but giggle on the sofa with Garcia as she handed him another cupcake. Garcia had made Dr Who cupcakes for him, he couldn't help but laugh at the small icing decoration of the dalek that was on top. Emily and JJ started to laugh as well but not because of the dalek decoration, they were laughing with joy at the fact that Reid was laughing and smiling for the first time in a long time.

Garcia knew that she needed to keep Reid the way he was at that very moment, she wanted him to forever be smiling and laughing. Garcia had already planned a day that would make Reid happy. She had gone out and brought the latest Dr Who season, she decided that Reid needed to be surrounded by things that would make him happy.

"Are you ready for a weekend of Dr Who?" Garcia smiled as she pulled out the dvd boxset. Reid grabbed the boxset and let out a smile that made Garcia's heart jump with happiness.

"I haven't w-watched t-this in a-ages. T-Thanks Garcy," Reid said before he handed her the boxset so she could placed it in the dvd. He turned to Emily and JJ to see that they were smiling as well.

"I think that we are going to let you two enjoy the marathon," Emily smiled at Reid before she walked over and gave him a small kiss on his cheek. JJ did the same once Emily had moved. They saw Reid blush at the contact.

"Are y-you com-coming back later?" Reid asked them.

"We'll come back later tonight. Is there anything that you want us to bring?" Emily asked. She saw Reid ponder for a moment before his eyes lit up.

"C-Can y-you go to m-my apartment?" Reid asked.

"Sure we can sweetie, what do you want us to get?" JJ said. Reid waved for Emily to come down, she leaned down and whispered something in her ear. Emily let out a small smile and nod as she leaned back up.

"I'll bring it along later tonight, you just have some fun today. Also tell Garcia to lay off the sugar, she is a little  
hyper today.

Emily and JJ waved goodbye to Garcia and Reid as they left. Garcia walked back into the room with a tray of sugary sweets making Reid realise the meaning behind what Emily had said. Garcia placed the first disc into the player before grabbing a bowl of popcorn and sitting under the covers with Reid.

"G-Garcy?"

Garcia turned to look at Reid who was giving her a small smile.

"Yeah," Garcia answered.

"Th-Thank you," Reid said.

"For what?"

"For ev-everything. T-Thank y-you for just be-being you."

Reid turned back to the television as Dr Who episode came onto the screen. Garcia sat there for a few moments before she kissed Reid on the head and gave him a comforting squeeze around the shoulder. Garcia felt happy for the first time in a long time as she sat with Reid.

Reid also felt happy for the first time in a long time, he felt safe for the first time in a long time.

**Six hours later**

Morgan, Rossi and Hotch all felt drained as they made their way up the stairs towards Garcia's apartment. They had spent the last few hours making sure that the Jacob was arrested and charged. Rossi had taken the cops aside and explained what had happened, when he had explained Jacob's broken nose and black eyes the officers were understanding. They had all agreed that he had fallen trying to run from Morgan and the others.

Jacob had confessed what he had done. He was now in police custody for what he had done to Reid. Hotch knew that if everything went well that prison would be Jacob's home for the next few years. All three men stopped before Garcia's apartment door when they heard loud laughter coming from inside. They recognised Garcia laugh, it took a few moments for them to realise that who was behind the other laugh.

"Is that Reid laughing?" Rossi smiled.

Morgan took out his spare key and opened the door to see a sight that he had not expected. Hotch and Rossi walked in behind him both grinning as they saw the state that Garcia and Reid were in. Both had icing all over their faces and hands, both of them with red faces and tears of laughter.

"Hey guys," Garcia giggled as she got up from her seat. She quickly walked into the kitchen and grabbed two wet cloths, she handed one to Reid before she started to wipe icing off her face.

"What were you two doing?" Hotch asked as he watched them both clean up.

"He started it, we were watching Dr Who and we had a little debate and my logic came out on top. The next think I know I have Cupcake icing on my nose. Two seconds after that the cupcake wars began," Garcia said although a small giggle would escape her lips every now and then.

"Has a truce been called?" Morgan chuckled.

"I-I s-surrender," Reid said as he finished wiping his face.

"Hey Reid, can I borrow Garcia for a few moments?" Morgan asked. Reid nodded before turning his attention back to the television.

Hotch, Rossi, Morgan and Garcia walked into the kitchen.

"How did you do that?" Hotch questioned as he took in Reid's happy expression.

"He needs to be surrounded with things that make him happy so I have planned out a weekend of Dr Who, possibly star trek and lots of sugary goodies. It is just nice to see him smile," Garcia told them.

"Keep doing what you are doing. The more he smiles the better. How are you doing?" Hotch said to her.

"I'm a lot happier now that Reid is doing better. On another matter, did you get him?" Garcia asked, she had tracked the bastard down, she just hoped her boy's had found the son of a bitch.

"He is in custody with a broken nose and a black eye. We got him. Trust me, I'm going to make sure that bastard goes to jail," Hotch told Garcia.

**Two hours later**

Reid smiled when Emily walked in with JJ into Garcia's apartment with a small box in her hand. He was happy that she had found it. Emily handed Reid the box before she gave him a small wink.

"C-can I h-have a minute w-with Garcia?" Reid asked the team, they all nodded while Garcia went over to Reid and sat next to him.

"Are you okay?" Garcia asked. Reid nodded before he handed her the small box in his hand, Garcia took it and opened it, she gasped slightly at how beautiful the object inside was. It was a beautiful necklace with a small rose as its main piece, the necklace looked very old but it had clearly been maintained.

"I-I w-want you t-to have it. It belonged t-to my g-grandmother," Reid smiled at her. Garcia looked up from the box.

"Reid, I can't accept this. This is a family heirloom, this belongs in your family."

"It will s-still b-be in m-my f-family," Reid said. "Y-you have stayed w-with me t-through e-every and y-you a-always kn-know how to m-make me smile. I-I want you to h-have it. Y-You are my family."

Garcia leapt forward and gave Reid a large hug, Reid instantly wrapped his arms around her.

"Thank you Reid, it's beautiful," Garcia said happily, she pulled away from the hug and placed both her hand on his cheeks.

"Always remember you have a family," she smiled.

"I will G-Garcy. I will."

**Six months later...**

**Hope that was okay,**

**Please review and as you see by the ending the next chapter will be set six months later when Reid returns to the BAU.**


	20. Chapter 20

**Hey everyone, sorry for the delay with this chapter. We are having a mini heatwave right now and yesterday my brain just wasn't working. Also the fact that my neighbours are playing music so loud that I can't hear myself think isn't helpful to writing. **

**Thank you for reviews, you are amazing. Yes, the doctor who part in the last chapter was inspired by Reid and Garcia doing the cosplay in the finale. The Gideon situation will be confronted soon I promise. **

**Also to Savageblue if you read this, thank you for the review on Alone in Hysteria. **

**I hope that you enjoy this chapter. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own.**

**Six months later**

Reid sighed as he waited for the elevator to open, he was both excited and nervous about returning to work. The last six months had been strange for Reid. He had recovered from the injuries inflicted by Jay and Jason although he knew other injuries, ones that were not physical, were going to take longer to heal. He would never let the team know that he awoke some nights screaming because of the images that had haunted his dreams. He didn't want them to know he had recovered a few more memories, ones that he wished had stayed gone.

Reid was happy that his speech had improved dramatically, he still had some trouble but he could say a sentence with only a few stutters. He attended the speech therapy because he wanted to try and reach normallcy. He was happy that he had almost achieved that.

Reid had not been surprised at how difficult his return to the BAU had been. Strauss had tried to stop him returning because she thought he would not be able to do his job properly, she thought that he was better off away from the FBI. Reid smiled slightly as he remembered how fiercly the team had fought for him to stay. In the end, it was decided that he could stay as long as he passed all psychological tests and fitness qualifications.

Reid felt immensely proud in himself for passing every single qualification, he had worked on building his body back to a level that it used to be although he had passed his own expectations, his body was stronger although he occassionally had pain in his leg from being stabbed. He had passed the psychological tests easily, he knew how decieve the questions. Reid knew that he still had demons to face but he knew he also needed to work. He couldn't stand staying at home any longer. Staying at home allowed bad memories to surface more and more. He needed something good to block them out, he needed to do something good to feel like the old him. He couldn't face staring at the scars on his body anymore and going back to the moment that they happened.

He needed the BAU. He needed to return to the place that accepted him.

He had been allowed into the field to work with the team. He had also been allowed to carry his firearm. Reid knew he was ready to come back to work, he just hoped that he was strong enough to face the unsubs he knew were out there to be caught.

Reid jumped slightly as the doors opened, a small smile crept onto his face when he saw Garcia standing there with Hotch and Rossi. Reid walked forward from the elevators.

"Welcome back Reid!" Garcia said happily before walking forward and giving Reid a small quick hug. Reid looked down and noticed she was wearing the necklace he had given her. Garcia noticed what he was looking at and smiled.

"I never take it off," she smiled. Reid smiled before he noticed Rossi step forward.

"It's good to have you back Reid, it hasn't been the same without you," Rossi smiled before shaking Reid's hand. Reid shook it back. Hotch jumped in and shook Reid's hands, the two men didn't need to exchange any words.

"It is good to be b-back, I'm a bit nervous t-though," Reid admitted.

"Don't be nervous, the team is here to support you and feel free to take it easy on your first day back. We have a new case in Miami but you can stay here if you want," Hotch advised Reid.

"I'm okay, I-I w-want to join you and the r-rest of the team."

"Come on junior g-man, we are briefing in a few minutes," Garcia ordered playfully before taking Reid by the shoulder and steering him down the hall.

**Meeting room**

Reid didn't miss the smiles that came across everyone's faces. JJ and Emily almost immediately rushed over to him and gave him a small kiss on the cheek before welcoming him back. Morgan gave Reid a small brotherly hug.

"Good to have you back," Morgan said.

"Thanks," Reid said back. The team all took their seats before Garcia took her place near the screen. She gave Reid one last look before she began the briefing. She pressed a button on her controller and a small picture appeared on the screen. The picture was of a young man that had clearly been beaten and stabbed to death. Every member of the team gave Reid a look which made him uncomfortable. He looked at the photo and then looked around the table.

"I'm n-not going to f-freak out or anything guys. I-It is clear that t-the man who d-did this is angry. The victim may have e-even know the unsub," Reid profiled. He watched everyone let out small smiles, he knew they had missed his prescence at the table and he wanted to make sure they knew he wasn't going to fall apart at the first sight of blood.

Reid listened to the rest of the briefing and put in some of ideas on the unsub. Reid had to admit that he was incredibly happy to be back at work. The image on the screen of the victim did disturb him more than it would have before everything that had happened but he knew he couldn't let himself be ruled by his memories of torture and abuse.

"Wheels up in twenty," Hotch told everyone.

**The Jet**

Reid was happy with the profile that had been assembled, the unsub had killed two more on top of the one they had seen on the screen. Reid knew that the unsub had some sort of personal connection with each victim. He just needed to find out what the connection was.

**Hotch**

Hotch kept looking at Reid over the file in front of him. He could see that Reid was enjoying being back at work but he also knew that Reid was good at hiding pain. He knew that he had to keep a very close eye on Reid over the next few weeks and especially on the new case. Hotch knew that Reid had felt something when he had seen the photo of the beaten and stabbed victim. He didn't know if Reid's reaction was a good thing. Reid had kept it together but Hotch would have felt better if he had seen some sort of reaction from Reid.

He seemed too calm.

"Hotch, he is going to be okay," Morgan said as he observed Hotch looking at Reid.

"Just keep an eye on him and tell the rest of the team to keep an eye on him. If anything goes south on this case I want him out of harm's way. I'm not risking anything happening to him," Hotch said.

"Trust me Hotch, no-one on this team is going to let him get hurt. That reminds me, Garcia wanted me to give you a message," Morgan told Hotch.

"What message?" Hotch asked confused.

"She wants updates every few hours and she will turn your technical world upside down if you don't update her," Morgan smiled.

"Message recieved," Hotch laughed gently.

**Enjoy and please review**

**I want to point out that Reid is going to be having trouble during his return.**


	21. Chapter 21

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all you lovely readers.**

**Thank you for the reviews and Namira I will never get tired of your reviews, my face lights up every time I see a review from you. Thank you everyone for the reviews.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid felt exhausted as he made his way into his hotel room. Morgan walked into the room behind Reid yawning his head off. Reid had hated the fact that they had no leads, they had gone through every personal connection that they could think the victims might have had with the unsub but they had come up empty. None of the victims had a connection that they could find. Reid put his satchel and go bag on his bed before he went collapsed into the bed. He like the way that the soft pillows caressed his head.

"You alright Reid?" Morgan asked as he noticed Reid collapse into the pillows. Morgan placed his bag into his own bed and turned back to look at Reid.

"J-Just not used to b-being up and about so m-much," Reid yawned.

"Get some rest kid, I just have to go outside and make a phonecall. Do you need anything?"

"N-No I'm fine," Reid told Morgan.

**Morgan**

Morgan nodded before he began to leave the room. He opened the door before he looked back to see Reid running a hand through his hair. Morgan didn't miss how Reid kept tapping his leg. He knew that Reid was having a hard time. Morgan knew the best thing to do was to give him space. Reid had spoken about being more independent before his return to the BAU. Morgan was happy to give him space unless a time came where he thought Reid would need someone to talk to.

Morgan sighed before he walked into the hall outside his hotel room. Morgan picked up his phone and dialled his babygirl.

"Speak protector of my junior g-man," Garcia's voice came down the phone. Morgan let out a small chuckle before he began to talk.

"Hey babygirl, I thought I would give you an update before I got some sleep."

"How is Reid? How is he doing?" Garcia asked. Morgan didn't miss the motherly edge to her voice.

"I'm not sure. He seemed fine all day but I've been watching him, he is hiding how he really feels. Don't get me wrong babygirl, he had been on the top of his game today but that is also what worries me."

"What do you mean?" Garcia questioned.

"When he is with the team and working the case, he seems almost too relaxed. He is barely reacting to any of the crime scene photos. It's like he is switching off his emotions to keep up appearances but once he is alone they all come rushing forward. He is also getting tired a bit quicker than he used to but that was to be expected."

"Morgan, we just have to wait and be there when he needs us. I wish he would have stayed here for a few days, I don't like him being out in the field. I can't watch him properly from my sanctuary. Morgan, can you do me a favour?" Garcia said.

"Anything babygirl."

"Keep him safe, I mean the moment you sense danger I want you to get him somewhere safe. All I want you to do is to keep him safe," Garcia pleaded softly down the phone.

"Garcia, he is will be safe. I'm not letting him anywhere where he might be hurt. I won't let anything bad happen to him. I'll handcuff myself to him if it keeps him out of harm. Don't worry babygirl, our junior g-man will be fine," Morgan assured Garcia.

"Our junior g-man better be fine or I won't bake you anymore cookies," Garcia threatened playfully. Morgan let out a small chuckle.

Morgan continued to talk to Garcia for a few more minutes before he went back into the hotel room. He saw that Reid had fallen asleep on the bed. Morgan walked over and pulled Reid's shoes off, Reid stirred for a moment but relaxed back into his previous sleeping state. Morgan placed the shoes at the side of the bed, he went over to his own bed and grabbed the cover from it. Morgan covered Reid over so the young agent wouldn't get cold.

Morgan frowned slighly when he noticed something metal poking from underneath the pillow next to Reid. Morgan lifted the pillow up gently and saw Reid's gun. Morgan pulled the gun from underneath the pillow. He sighed quietly, he knew that Reid was hiding behind a fragile shield. The gun under the pillow had confirmed his suspicions that Reid was still scared of the world.

Reid's behaviour showed Morgan that Reid still suffered greatly from the trauma he had suffered. Morgan only had one question in his mind.

Why was Reid not talking to the team about how he truly felt?

**Three hours later - Reid**

Reid gasped as he woke up, his entire body jolting forward. Reid breathed heavily as he looked around the dark hotel room, he looked over to the other bed. He panicked for a moment before he realised that it was Morgan in the bed. Reid ran his hand through his hair and found it was damp with sweat. Reid ripped the cover from his body and ran into the bathroom, he locked the door and switched on the light.

Reid froze slightly when he saw his pale and sweaty reflection, he walked forward towards the mirror that was above the sink. Reid turned the sink tap and watched as water fell from the tap. Reid put his hands together, he felt a sense of loss as he saw the empty space where his little finger once was. Reid scooped a handful of water and splashed it into his face. He gasped slightly at how cold. Reid cringed slightly as a memory came rushing forward, he stepped away from the water as he flash backed to being held under water by Jay.

"Reid!" Morgan's voice shouted causing Reid's mind to jump back to the present. Reid stared at the door in a daze.

"Reid, open the door!" Morgan shouted again. Reid snapped back into reality and unlocked the door. Reid jumped back as the door whipped open to reveal a worried Morgan.

"W-What d-do you want?" Reid snapped at Morgan. Morgan walked into the bathroom and past Reid to turn off the tap. Reid didn't like way that Morgan looked at him, it reminded him too much of the days when he had been helpless laid in a bed.

"I woke up to hear you pleading in your sleep, the next thing I know you are waking up gasping for air and running into the bathroom. Are you okay?" Morgan said as calmly as he could.

"I-It was nothing. Just go b-back to s-sleep," Reid mumbled.

"You were dreaming about what happened to you back at the mental hospital, weren't you?" Morgan asked carefully.

"It's none of your b-business!" Reid snapped back angrily.

"Reid, you know I'm here for you. Just talk to me."

"I don't need this," Reid snapped before he pushed past Morgan. He rushed to his bed and grabbed his shoes. Reid quickly slipped them back on before he reached under his pillow. He threw the pillow back down when he found no gun was there.

"Where is m-my g-gun?" Reid shouted at Morgan. Morgan walked back over to the table near his bed and picked up Reid's gun. Reid snatched it from his hand and slipped it into it's holster.

"You aren't going anywhere Reid, it is too late," Morgan shouted as Reid slipped on his long jacket, the jacket covered his firearm from view.

"I-I'm not a f-fucking child. I can go as I-I please," Reid yelled before he grabbed his satchel and ran out of the room.

**Hotch - Half an hour later**

Hotch felt angry as he walked the streets near the hotel. He felt angry at Morgan for losing track of Reid but he was angry at Reid for running out of the hotel. Everyone had began to search for Reid the moment that he had lost Reid. Hotch stopped when he saw Reid sitting on a bench. Hotch couldn't believe what he was seeing Reid doing. Hotch walked forward. Reid looked up and rolled his eyes as he knew that Hotch was about to give him a long lecture.

"Reid, when the hell did you start smoking?"

**Yes, he has started smoking. I wanted him to have some kind of bad habit that he doing to cope with everything. I didn't want to make him an alcoholic and I didn't want him back on drugs. **

**Feel free to throw rocks at me.**

**Please review**


	22. Chapter 22

**Hey everyone, here is the lovely chapter and expect another chapter later on today, I am in a very good mood and I am addicted to writing this fanfic.**

**Okay so yes some people were happy that I made him a smoker and some were not. I do remember the six minutes conversation. I thought it was the best direction to go as it was lesser evil than alcohol or drugs. I would also like to say that smoking is bad for you and I am not pushing it in anyway. I think that smoking is harmful to not only the person smoking but also everyone around them. **

**Don't smoke!**

**Thank you all the reviews for the last chapter, they were all fantastic. Thank you!**

**Namira - As always thank you for the review, I also want to tell you that there will be a very big fight between Morgan and Reid soon so look out for that. I will always try update everyday. **

**Savageblue - your review made me so happy and gave me a chuckle. Thank you for throwing a rubber foamed rock. I love when you used a beagle waiting for a snack to drop so it was legally theirs to describe waiting. What writer would I be if I didn't leave it on some sort of cliffhanger?**

**Sorry for the long message...to the chapter!**

**Enjoy and please review. All mistakes are my own**

Hotch watched as Reid took another drag from his cigarette, Hotch stormed forward and grabbed the cigarette from Reid's hand. He threw it to the ground and pressed the cigarette out with his foot. Hotch looked up to see an angry Reid staring back at him.

"When the hell did you start smoking?" Hotch asked angrily as he sat next to Reid. Hotch watched as Reid twirled a lighter around his hand.

"About t-two months ago," Reid said coldly. "Is there a p-problem with m-my work?"

"Your work has been fine today, in fact, it has been better than I expected. Reid, you have me worried right now. Why would you start smoking? You know it is not good for you. I recall you lecturing Rossi that he lost six minutes every time he had a cigar," Hotch said.

"If my w-work is fine I see n-no reason for you to come out and d-disturb me. Why is it n-none of you c-can leave me alone? Every time I-I turn around I see a m-member of the t-team right behind me. I'm not a child, I would a-appreciate if the team would stop t-treating me like one," Reid said with hate in his voice.

"Reid, the team is keeping an eye on you because we don't want anything to happen to you. I asked everyone to try and keep an eye of you. Reid, I can see that you aren't fine. I want you to know that you can always talk to us if you are having trouble," Hotch sighed.

"There is n-nothing to talk a-about," Reid snapped. Hotch reached out and grabbed Reid's lighter from his hand, Reid tried to grab for it but Hotch kept it out his reach.

"You say that there is nothing to talk about," Hotch raised his voice. "If there is nothing to talk about then why are you smoking? I can tell something is causing you stress, you need to tell us. I am not letting you destroy yourself again."

Reid lunged forward and quickly grabbed the lighter from Hotch's hand, he stood up angrily and brushed his hand through his hair in fustration.

"Don't tell me h-how t-to live my life! Unless you have a p-problem with my work I want you to stay out o-of my personal life. I smoke because it is my choice, I don't need you or the rest o-of the t-team trying to control my l-life. You think that I am destroying m-myself, you almost destroyed me when y-you didn't get me o-out of that place."

"Reid, we didn't-" Hotch began to say before he was cut off of by Reid.

"You didn't what? You try b-being locked a-away and attacked. Y-you try being held down, raped and the one doing it i-is silencing y-your screams for h-help. I'm not d-destroying myself, you and t-the entire t-team are the ones that almost d-destroyed me," Reid screamed at Hotch. Hotch recoiled into the bench at the rage in Reid's voice.

Hotch could see that tears were threatening to spill from Reid's eyes. Hotch knew that Reid was still suffering but he never thought that Reid still had so much hate for the team. Reid began to walk away from the bench causing Hotch to snap back into action. Hotch caught up with Reid and grabbed Reid's arms. Reid snatched his arm away from Hotch and turned to face him. Hotch didn't need to say anything as he saw the look on Reid's face. Hotch couldn't do anything but watch as Reid stormed down the street lighting up another cigarette.

Hotch took a deep breath as he tried to process what he was going to do. He knew that if he stopped Reid working everything would get worse. Reid was in a fragile state and by Reid's words, Hotch knew it was the only thing keeping Reid from completely breaking down. He knew he had to be careful, he had seen would could happen if Reid let his emotional state take over.

He had seen Reid after his attempted suicide, he didn't want to ever see Reid like that again.

Hotch decided to keep Reid on the team but he was not letting Reid out of the station. He was still Reid's boss, he still had some authority over the fragile genius.

It had hurt to him to hear Reid talk about being attacked at the mental hospital. Hotch knew that while Reid's physical injuries had healed, the young man was still plagued emotional scars that had still to heal.

**Morning**

Reid yawned as woke up from his sleep. He pulled himself up and moaned as he stretched, his entire body felt like it clicked into place one he had stretched. Reid looked to his phone and turned off the alarm that had awoken him, he knew he still had plenty of time till the team was supposed to meet back at the station. Reid looked around his hotel room, he enjoyed being alone. He had decided not to go back to the hotel where the team was staying. He had found another one and paid for a room himself.

Reid looked at his phone and found that he had six missed calls. Two were from Hotch while the other four were from Garcia. Reid sighed and dialled Garcia's number before putting the phone to his ear. He knew that he still harboured rage towards the team but Garcia was someone he couldn't stay mad at. She had done so much for him. Reid knew that Garcia was the only person he trusted with everything.

"Where the hell have you been?" Garcia yelled down the phone causing Reid to almost drop it.

"I-I'm fine, I just didn't w-want to go back to th-the hotel where the team was. I'm a-at another h-hotel," Reid said  
quickly.

"You've been missing all night Reid. I have been worried sick about you."

"I'm sorry Garcia, I didn't m-mean to make you worried. I-I j-just had a nightmare and Morgan kept asking m-me things t-that I didn't w-want to talk about. Please f-forgive me," Reid asked her. He heard let out a long breath before she began to speak again.

"I will always forgive you Reid, just tell me the truth. I spoke with Hotch, have you started smoking?" she asked.

"Yes, about t-two months a-ago."

"Reid!" Garcia berated. "Honey, why would you start smoking?"

Reid bit his lower lip for a second before he decided to be honest.

"It helps w-with the pain o-of the m-memories. Don't tell anyone b-but I've b-been struggling. Promise you w-won't tell," Reid said to Garcia down the phone.

"I promise sweetie. I'm here now, talk to Garcy."

**Please review.**

**I am keeping the Garcia and Reid friendship strong, I love writing the two characters. Also Emily is staying in this fanfic, she isn't going anywhere.**


	23. Chapter 23

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you fantastic super duper mega awesome readers. **

**Thank you so much for helping me hit the one hundred mark with the reviews. Thank you so much for the reviews, they are all great. Namira, thank you for your review, it was amazing as ever. **

**Thank you everyone who had reviewed. **

**I hope this chapter is okay, I'm a bit worried that it isn't one of my good chapters. **

**Enjoy and please review. All mistakes are my own**

Reid began to make his way to the police station. He knew that the unsub had a connection to the victims and he knew that he was close to finding the connection. There just something missing, some variable that needed to be found. Reid turned the corner and made his way into the police station. He had didn't care that he was in the same clothes as the previous night, it had not been the first time he had stayed in his clothes for a long amount of time. Reid had kept his jacket off and rolled his sleeves up due to the hot weather.

He had spoken with Garcia about a few things but he didn't tell her what the nightmares were about. He just asked her about her day to keep his mind off things. He had not returned Hotch's phone calls.

"Good morning Dr Reid."

Reid turned around to see the receptionist that worked at the station, he remembered her name was Lucy. She had helped him find everything he needed yesterday. He gave her a small smile before walking to the area where the team had set up the previous day. He was relieved to see that the team had not arrived yet. He would try to be professional but he knew they were going to ask questions that he was not going to answer. Reid grabbed himself a cup of coffee and began to work on a geographical profile of where the unsub could be located.

Half an hour later Reid looked from the board to see Emily and JJ walking through the doors. They both stopped in their steps when saw Reid looking at them. He turned back to the board and and marked a few points on the map.

"Hey Reid, you are here early," JJ said before walking over to the nearby coffee machine and pouring herself a cup of coffee. Reid could hear in her voice that she was aware of what had happened the night before. He sighed before answering her.

"I just w-wanted to g-get an early start. Is that a p-problem?" Reid snapped.

"No Reid, I was just surprised. I'll let you get back to work," JJ said. Reid could hear the hurt in her voice but it was  
hard to care. Reid heard the click clack of heels come towards him before a hand touched his shoulder. He turned to see Emily's eye staring into his own. Emily pulled him away from the board and guided him into the hall.

"What is the matter? I know that you are facing some demons right now but you didn't have to be that way to JJ," Emily sighed to Reid.

"S-should I b-be nice right now? No doubt that H-Hotch told you what happened. I c-came to work to do my j-job, not be to asked q-questions and not to make small talk. My demons are m-my own business. Back off E-Emily," Reid said angrily before walking back to the board and continuing to make a profile on the unsub. Reid watched Emily sit next to JJ as they went through files of people close to the victims.

Reid looked at the board and stopped as his mind flashed through the information he had read. His mind sparked and his mind saw the connection, all he hoped was there was more behind the connection.

**Forty**** minutes later**

**Morgan**

Morgan yawned as he made his way into the station with Rossi and Hotch. All three of the men had not managed to get much sleep because of Reid. They all stopped at the door to where they had set up the previous night when they saw Reid working. Morgan looked at JJ and Emily. JJ looked to Reid and then shook her head at Morgan.

It was her way of telling him that Reid was not in a good mood.

"Reid, have you found where the unsub may be?" Hotch asked. Reid turned around to look at Hotch. Morgan could see the tension between the two.

"The blue a-area on the m-map, I also t-hink that I have m-made another c-connection. One thing t-that I-I noticed was t-that there is a high s-school dead in t-the center. I had G-Garcia look up any d-deaths that had occured n-near the school o-or in the school in t-the last t-ten years due to the a-age of the v-victims. There have b-been a few suicides but a young man called Devon Matthews d-died in the school, it was classed as an a-accidental death due to the f-fact his death was caused by a vicious f-fall down the flight of s-stairs but it was documented that there were some s-signs he had beaten b-beforehand. No-one was ever convicted," Reid explained before he picked up his coffee and took a long sip.

Hotch and the rest of the team looked at him with shock as they realised how far he had got into the case. Morgan still noticed the way that Reid was standing. His body language showed that he was being defensive.

"You think the unsub was a friend or relative of Devon Matthews," Rossi questioned as he walked over to the map. Reid moved away from the map and from Rossi. It was clear to Morgan that Reid wanted to distance himself from the team.

"I t-think t-that it is a relative, more specifically his o-old br-brother Elijah Matthews. All the victims went t-to the  
high school at s-some point and w-when I looked at e-education detail o-of each victim I-I found that t-they were all at t-the school together f-for a few months. Devon Matthews was killed d-during that time. I t-think that his b-brother is h-hunting the four people b-believed to have caused Devon's d-death," Reid said before picking up a file and throwing it onto the table where it landed near JJ. JJ picked it up and opened the folder to reveal a picture of their unsub.

"Wait, that means he still had one person still to kill," JJ realised.

"Get ready to go to his address. I want this guy caught today. Reid, stay here till we get back. Morgan stay back with him," Hotch ordered.

"I-I can s-stay on my own," Reid said quickly.

"Morgan, stay here with Reid. Reid, remember I am still the leader of this team and you will follow my orders," Hotch said sternly.

Reid clenched his jaw and stared at Hotch. Hotch walked out the room with the rest of the team. Morgan watched Reid grab a packet of cigarettes and a lighter from his bag and walk out of the room.

**Reid**

Reid walked out into the alleyway behind the station and sat on the steps. He enjoyed the feel of the sun as it hit his face and skin, there was somthing comforting about it. Something natural that he could feel warmth from. Reid took out a cigarette from the packet before placing the packet into his pocket. Reid put the cigarette into his mouth, he flicked the switch on the lighter and watched as the flame emerged from it. Reid brought the flame to the cigarette, he felt the niccotine calm his nerves almost instantly. Reid watched as the SUV containing the team passed the alleyway, he was sure that they had caught a glimpse of him.

Reid took another drag of the cigarette before he brought it away from his lips.

"Never thought of you as a smoker. I guess you are full of surprises," Morgan said causing Reid to turn around. Morgan was leaning against the door frame with his arms crossed.

"G-Go away," Reid said calmly.

"Not a chance, we need to talk about what happened last night. Hotch told me what you said to him, is that really how you feel about the team?" Morgan asked. Reid let out a small gentle sarcastic laugh before stubbing out the cigarette and rising to his feet. He turned to face Morgan.

"I don't trust y-you and I don't t-trust the team like I did before. The only person I tr-trust Garcia, she has always been there f-for. You a-are the reason I-I was put in that place. This entire team could have done something to g-get me out of that p-place but you didn't. You made me into this when you put me in the m-mental hospital. You just couldn't wait to get r-rid of me, I guess you were happy when you l-locked me away," Reid growled angrily.

"Reid, how can you say that? We didn't know what that place was truly doing to you. You mean everything to the team. We would never want you away," Morgan argued back.

"I like my j-job but I don't think I-I can ever go back to ever trusting any of you. You keep saying to me that you  
understand w-what happened to me back in t-that place. YOU DON'T!" Reid screamed at Morgan. "You w-were a kid back w-when it happened to y-you, you were overpowered."

Reid grunted as Morgan grabbed him by the throat and pushed him against the wall.

"SHUT UP REID!" Morgan yelled into Reid's face. "You don't know what I went through you little prick so stop talking!"

"Get out off me!" Reid shouted before bringing his fist into Morgan's face. Morgan stumbled to the side at the force of Reid's punch. Reid brought his hand to his throat as he found able to breath properly. Reid looked up before his face exploded with pain as Morgan punched him across the face. Reid whipped to the floor and groaned as he laid on the foor in a daze. Reid rolled onto his back after a minute and looked up to see Morgan.

He watched as Morgan stepped away from him, he watched as Morgan came to his senses and realised what he had done. Morgan stepped forward to try and help Reid up but Reid crawled backwards. Reid grabbed the wall and got himself back to his feet. Reid spat some blood to floor before he looked up to see Morgan's face.

"Reid, I'm so sorry, I just got angry. I'm sorry," Morgan apologised profusely. Reid stared into Morgan's eyes.

"Go to hell M-Morgan. You should h-have let me die w-when I took those pills."

**A few hours later**

Reid laid on his bed in his hotel room. He stared at the ceiling as his cellphone started to ring loudly. Reid had been  
ignoring his phone for the last few hours. His face had swollen up from where Morgan had punched him. Reid wanted to call Garcia but knew all he needed at that moment was be alone.

He needed to be alone as it had become so rare for him not to be stalked by a member of the team.

Reid closed his eyes and let himself fall asleep. He felt so drained, he just needed to sleep.

**Please review **


	24. Chapter 24

__**Hey everyone, first I must warn you that this chapter is a bit dark. I decided to keep my rating as there is nothing graphic and as you will see the attack is not shown. I've read worse and the rating was still a T.**

**I hope you enjoy this chapter, I would love some feedback especially on this chapter. I was so nervous writing it. **

**Thank you so much for the reviews, you all are super duper brilliant people. Thank you again, I wish I could hug each and every one of you. Thanks!**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Oh and the italic is dreaming.**

_"Please g-get o-of me," Reid cried as the guard on top of him held him down. Reid cried harder when the man slapped him across the face._

_'SHUT UP!'_

_'S-Somebody h-help m-me!" Reid screamed. Reid tried to scream for help again but found his cries for help muffled as a large hand press over his mouth harshly. Reid whimpered and tried to plead for the man to leave him alone but found his pleading useless as the hand prevented him from screaming._

_"It's okay," the guard slurred, his breath reaking of alcohol. "You're gonna enjoy this."_

_Reid let out a muffled scream as he felt a hand at the hem of his pants._

Reid panted heavily as he woke up. Reid glanced down at his pillow and noticed that it was wet. Reid sat up from his hotel bed and wiped his hands over his cheeks to find them wet. Reid knew that he had been crying during his nightmare, he wished it had been a made up nightmare but he knew better. His mind had made him dream about the horrible moment he had lost his dignity, his mind had taken him back to the moment when he had lost everything of who he was. Reid still had dreams about Jay and Jason and the others but his attack was pushing its way through his mind.

Reid picked up his phone and saw that it was five o'clock in the afternoon, he had only been asleep for three hours. Reid desperately needed something to calm him down, he decided then it was time to go back home. Reid closed his eyes and knew the only way he was getting home was back on the jet. Reid looked at his phone and searched through his text messages. He opened the one from Rossi telling him the jet was leaving at six thirty. Reid didn't want to be near the team, he especially didn't want to be near Hotch or Morgan. Reid sighed as he got off the bed, he walked over to the mirror and adjusted his short hair so it looked less scruffy.

Reid picked up all his belongings, he did a quick check to make sure he had everything and then left the hotel room. Reid checked out of his room, he thanked the receptionist behind the desk for getting him a room on short notice and left the building.

Reid hailed down a taxi and made his way to the airstrip where the jet was. Reid knew everyone was going to yell at him for leaving. He didn't care though, the part inside of him that should have cared had become broken, that part of him was practically dead.

**The Jet**

Reid walked up the stairs of the Jet and stepped inside. He walked in and found that the rest of the team had not arrived yet, he looked at his watched and realised that the jet still had twenty minutes till he was to take off. Reid decided to sit at the back of the jet. He knew that the team would avoid him.

That was the way that he wanted it, he wanted to be alone. He couldn't get hurt if he was alone.

Reid drummed his fingers on his knees as he tried to relax. He had not had a cigarette since the morning. Reid took his Ipod from his bag and put the earphones in his ears. He started to play some rock music. Reid leaned back into his seat and let the music soothe him. He hadn't been able to listen to any classical music since his first kidnapping. It was another ten minutes before the team walked in.

Reid opened his eyes for a moment to see them walking in but closed them quickly. He wanted to avoid talking to them at all costs. Reid listened to Muse, he had found their music by chance and had grown to like their songs.

Reid felt the jet take off and leaned further back into his chair. Reid felt himself pulled into another bout of sleep. He  
didn't fight it, fighting against sleep was the one battle he knew he couldn't win.

_Reid didn't move when the guard pulled Reid's pants and trousers back up. Reid stared into the distance as his mind tried to process what had just happened to him. Reid knew he was crying but his mind barely registered the action. He felt so filthy and used._

_Why had this happened to him? Had the world not done enough to him?_

_Reid whimpered and cried as the guard grabbed his arms. He didn't want to be hurt again, he wanted to go home. He wanted to be away from this hellhole._

_"Will you stop crying?" the guard shouted angrily into Reid's face. Reid tried to fight the man holding his arms but the man was too strong. Reid could smell the digusting alcohol on the guard's breath._

_"P-Pleaseee...don't..h-hurt me," Reid cried as the man began to pull him back to mental hospital. Reid knew that no-one was around, the guard that had attacked him was the one who watched the ward that Reid stayed on. Reid cried to himself as he was led back to his room. He felt his skin crawl at the guard touching his arm._

_Reid tried to block out the pain he was feeling below. It hurt so much. Reid felt a little relieved that he couldn't see any blood, he knew he had been spared internal bleeding below. He knew what the guard had done beforehand had prevented the bleeding._

_Reid let the guard put him back into his room. He panicked though when the guard came into the room with him. Reid yelped as the guard grabbed his throat and held him against the wall. Reid's breathing became quicker and quicker when the man leaned next to Reid's ear and began to whisper._

_"This is our little secret, you were very good. Gave me just what I needed. You tell anyone and I'll hurt you again. If you tell anyone I'll hurt you till you want to be dead."_

_The guard came away from Reid's ear and leaned in closer to Reid's face. Reid grimaced as the guard's breath hit his face._

_"I-I won't t-tell a-anyone," Reid sobbed gently. The guard grabbed Reid's head and kissed Reid's roughly on his lips causing Reid to cry harder. The guard pulled away leaving Reid shaking with pure fear._

_"Good little crazy person. Sleep tight," the guard smiled before leaving the room. Reid stayed standing against the wall as his mind regressed to the point of where it controlled his body on autopilot. Reid grabbed his pillow from his bed and climbed under his bed. He placed the pillow to his chest and hugged it tightly._

_Seconds later he buried his head into the pillow and began to cry._

Reid jolted awake and fell off his chair gasping for air. Reid ripped out his earphones and tried to calm himself down. He wiped his cheeks again as he found he had been crying again in his sleep. He looked up to see the team crowded near him.

"Reid, are you okay?" JJ asked as she stepped forward to help. Reid leaned away from her touch. He rushed to his feet and stumbled against the chairs that were in front of him. Reid felt dizzy as he tried to stand up properly.

"I'm fine. Leave me alone," Reid gasped before he found everything spinning around him. Reid closed his eyes as he felt his body fall forward in a dark oblivion.

**What do you think? Please review**

**And tomorrow I am having a lazy day so I won't be updating tomorrow. Just kidding! I'll be updating with two chapters tomorrow, I would never be that mean.**


	25. Chapter 25

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews and I hope you enjoy this chapter as it had a part that some of you wanted. The next chapter after this one will be up in a few hours. Thanks again for the review Namira, I had to even the score some way.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

"Reid...Reid wake up."

Reid eye's fluttered for a moment before he opened them fully, his vision was blurry for a moment before it became clearer. Reid stared at team above him before he sat up. Reid pushed away the hands that tried to keep him laying down. Reid looked at Rossi and knew the senior agent was worried about him. Reid realised that he was still on the jet. Reid got to his feet and started to walk towards the lavatory. His arm was grabbed by Rossi though and pulled back.

"Reid, are you okay?" Rossi asked as he pulled Reid to the kitchen area of the Jet. Rossi decided that Reid didn't want to be crowded by the rest of the team.

"I-I'm fine," Reid sighed. Reid wished that everyone would stop asking him how he was.

"Reid, you've been unconcious for the last ten minutes, you just fainted. Reid, I know you had nightmare before you fainted. Please let me help you. You are struggling, you need to let the team help you," Rossi said as he tried to get Reid to talk to the team.

"I don't n-need help. I need t-to be away from the t-team. You are all the r-reason I am this w-way. Y-You think I'm a child. You think y-you understand w-what I am going through, you will n-never understand. There i-is still someone out there t-that can h-hurt me. H-He isn't in prison yet. The t-team has failed to protect me t-too many times, I-I have to protect myself," Reid growled angrily at Rossi.

"His trial is next week. Is that what you are dreaming about? Jacob Harris is going to be convicted," Rossi tried to assure Reid.

"J-Just leave me alone," Reid said quietly but his voice held tempered anger. Reid tried to walk to the lavatory again but Rossi pulled him back.

"Reid, please stop doing doing this. Please let the team help you, let me help you."

"Y-You are n-not my father Rossi!" Reid said angrily. "I don't w-want to be p-part of this t-team anymore."

Reid ripped his arm out of a shocked Rossi's grasp and went into the lavatory. He locked the door, he leaned against the wall behind him and let himself slide to the floor. Reid had tried to forget about Jacob Harris but his mind would not allow him to run. Jacob Harris was out on bail and Reid was afraid that Jacob was going to find him. Reid had told, he had told the team what had happened. Reid had kept his apartment locked tight every night since he had returned home. He had been sleeping with a gun under his pillow and a knife under his bed.

Reid hated to admit to himself but he was scared. He was scared of the shadows in every corner, he was scared of the man who had hurt him.

He was afraid of Jacob Harris. He was afraid of the man would come for revenge.

**A few hours later**

Reid had made his way back to the BAU after the plane had landed. He wanted to see Garcia, she was the only one the calm him at the time. He needed her guidance. He trusted Garcia, he just needed to see her. Reid walked through the halls of the BAU till he reached her office. He knew she wouldn't leave her office till the team had returned back. Reid knocked on her door and waited for her to answer. He only had to wait a few seconds before she whipped open the door to look at him.

"Hey Garcy," Reid said before his bottom lip began to quiver. He didn't know why but everytime he was with Garcia his protective walls crumbled. Garcia pulled Reid gently in her office and sat him down on one of her chairs. She pulled up a chair and sat on it before she hugged Reid. Reid wrapped his arms around her and felt comfort as she rubbed his back. Garcia pulled out of the hug and took Reid's hands in her own.

"I can see that you are scared, you look like you haven't had a proper night of sleep in ages. Tell me what is wrong?" Garcia enquired with her motherly instincts now in full swing.

"I'm d-dreaming of J-Jacob H-Harris. I'm s-scared he is going to come after me. I c-can't forget t-that place. No-one from the team c-came to t-try get me out of th-that place. I beat J-Jay when I killed him. I'm scarred physically b-but the mental scars f-from Jay don't h-haunt me as much a-anymore. Jacob t-told me I was s-supposed to k-keep what he did to me a s-secret but I didn't."

"Reid, you did the right thing by telling us. Jacob is going on trial next week and he is going to be convicted. He wouldn't dare try and hurt you. I'm so sorry that we didn't get you out of that place. Hotch knew something was wrong but we couldn't get you out without any solid evidence," Garcia said.

Reid's head snapped up suddenly, his eyes cold and furious. Reid stood up from his chair and backed away from Garcia.

"What d-do you mean Hotch knew?" Reid growled. Garcia suddenly realised what she had said. She knew that Reid needed to be told.

"I missed you so much when you were locked away in that place, none of us were allowed to visit so I hacked into their CCTV on occassion. I saw you a few times and one time when I did it Hotch was with me. You were in the garden, it made my heart break to see you looking so hurt. We watched a nurse come and get you. Hotch said by your behaviour and the nurse's behaviour that something was wrong. He was going to storm over to the hospital but we couldn't. We didn't have solid proof and hacking into the cameras was illegal," Garcia explained quickly.

"Y-You fucking knew, y-you knew that something was w-wrong and you didn't come get me," Reid said angrily as he gripped the top of Garcia's arms tightly in anger.

"Reid-" Garcia pleaded as she tried to him down. Garcia could see that Reid beyond angry, she could see that he was full of wrath and hate. Reid let go of her arms roughly and backed away from her.

"NO! You are j-just as bad as t-the rest. You d-didn't tell m-me. You promised m-me that there w-would be no m-more s-secrets. I have t-told you e-everything. I can't b-believe I thought you w-were my friend," Reid screamed at her. Garcia felt tears run down her cheeks as she felt the brunt of Reid's anger.

Reid stormed out of Garica's office.

Reid passed Morgan and Hotch, he couldn't look at them. He couldn't believe that they knew. Reid didn't stop walking till he was away from the BAU building. Reid sat on a nearby bench. He pulled out his packet of cigarettes and took out a cigarette, he placed it in his lips. He lit the lighter, his entire hand shook as he tried to light the cigarette. He finally got it lit. His entire body relaxed as he took another puff of the cigarette. Reid's hands shook as he sat on the bench smoking.

He thought Garcia had been with him, he thought she was his only friend. She had lied to him though, she had seen how hurt he had been back at the hospital. Hotch had seen the something had been wrong yet they had done nothing.

What did he have left now? He couldn't face his team or stand working with them.

He had no friends left, he knew that he was alone. He had always known that being alone was the best thing for him.

**Half hour later**

Reid had finally managed to calm down after having two cigarettes on the park bench. Reid scrambled around in his bag for his keys. He finally grasped them in his hand, he quickly unlocked his door and walked into his apartment. Reid placed his bag by the door before walking forward.

Reid frowned when he saw a black bag on the table near his living room. It was a bag that didn't belong to him.

Reid yelped as he felt a hand clamp over his mouth. Reid struggled till he felt the cold tip of a knife at his throat. Reid  
whimpered as he felt hot breath on his ear.

"Hello crazy. I told you not to tell."

**Dun...dun...dun... **

**What is Reid going to do? What will happen? Stay tuned to find out**

**Please review**


	26. Chapter 26

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. **

**Thank you everyone for the reviews, they were all amazing and I literally wish I could grant everyone a wish with some genie mojo but unfortunately I lost my lamp. Thank you again for the reviews and Namira, thank you for the long review and I like Reid when his hair was nice and short with a bit of geeky spike thing going on. He looks so much better with short hair. **

**I'm sorry to say that I have been cruel again to Reid. Nothing graphic but still very worried if I have done this right.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid moaned in pain as he became started to become more aware. Reid felt himself be pulled from the darkness as he began to wake up. Reid didn't want to wake up as he remembered what had happened when he had walked into his apartment. He remembered a hand clamping over his his mouth and a knife at his throat. He had shivered when Jacob had spoken to him. The next thing he remembered was the hand moving from his mouth and gripping his hair, the last thing he remembered was his head being smashed into his wall.

Reid opened his eyes, he looked down and noticed that he was still in his apartment, he realised that he was laying on his bed. Reid tried to move but found one hand had been tied to one bed post while the other one had been tied to the other bed post. Reid saw that his legs had been tied the same way. Reid was happy that his mouth had not been covered and that his clothes were still on him. Reid was about to shout for help when he heard footsteps from outside his bedroom. Reid's eyes went wide with fear when he saw Jacob Harris walk around the corner with knife in his hand and a piece of cloth in his other hand.

Jacob rushed forward. Reid tried to shout for help but found the cloth tied into his mouth. Reid could tasted the material on his tongue as Jacob tied the gag round his shaking head. Jacob backed away from the now silenced Reid and smiled as he looked over Reid's body.

"I didn't expect you to wake up so soon. Hello Spencer," Jacob smiled at the man. Reid began to pull at the restraints in fear. He knew that he wanted to be as far away from Jacob as he could, he was again at the mercy of the man who had raped him. He didn't want to through that pain again.

"I had no idea that you were a federal agent. You must have been a bad one to have been locked away with the rest of the crazies. I told you not to tell anyone what happened. You disobeyed, you have ruined my life. I am not being sent to prison because you couldn't keep your mouth shut!" Jacob said angrily. "I decided that before I jump bail and disappear that I was going to find you and make you pay. Just like I promised."

Reid screamed against his gag hoping that someone would hear him. He jumped when he heard Jacob laugh hysterically.

"No-one is going to come to your rescue. Firstly though I need to make sure that the three agents who came to my house and threatened to kill me pay. They are going to hear everything I do to you. Don't worry I'll be quick so they won't catch me. I took the liberty of borrowing your cellphone," Jacob smiled before lifting Reid's phone into view.

Jacob pressed a few buttons on the phone and placed it on speakerphone, a ringing noise began to fill the room. Jacob brought a knife out with is other hand before climbing onto Reid and straddling Reid's hips. Reid cried gently as Jacob put his cellphone next to him. Jacob pressed the point of his knife to Reid's throat and put his finger to his own lips telling Reid to be silent.

The ringing stopped as Hotch's voice came onto the phone. Reid could hear the voices of the team in the background, he wanted to cry at the fact that they were all going to hear what Jacob was going to do to him.

"Reid! I'm so glad that you called. Garcia told me what happened in her office. Are you okay?" Hotch said down the phone. Jacob gave Reid a look before he began to speak.

"I'm sorry but Spencer is a little busy at the moment on his bed," Jacob taunted.

"Harris you son of a bitch! Leave him alone," Hotch shouted down the phone. Reid heard the team's voices in the background become silent.

"He ruined my life, I think he owes me a little favour. You and your friends came to my house and threatened to blow my balls off. You are going to listen as I have some fun with Spencer."

Jacob removed the knife from Reid's throat. Reid couldn't stop shaking, he couldn't stop the tears falling from his eyes.

"Please don't hurt him. Please just leave him alone, he hasn't done anything wrong. Please don't hurt him," Hotch begged down the phone.

Reid was disturbed when Jacob didn't answer Hotch. Jacob moved his hands to Reid's belt buckle and began to unbuckle it. Reid started to scream and whimper against the gag around his face as he felt Jacob unbuckle his belt.

"Reid! We are coming to get you, everything is going to be okay!" Morgan's voice roared down the phone.

"Are you ready?" Jacob laughed.

Reid screamed as Jacob pulled at the waist of his pants.

**Hotch**

Hotch and the rest of the team raced towards Reid's apartment. They had called local police but the nearest unit was too far away because of a riot. Hotch pulled up to the curb of Reid's building, Morgan and Rossi were out of the car before it had even stopped. Hotch raced out of the car and caught up with rest of the team as they raced to Reid's apartment. They had heard Reid's muffled screams down the phone for a few minutes before the line went dead. It had been ten minutes since the line had gone dead.

Hotch and the rest of the team pulled out their guns as they got to Reid's door. Morgan kicked the door open and the team rushed into the apart, they went seperate directions. Morgan and Hotch went to the bedroom, Morgan walked around the corner and froze. He looked at the bed, he couldn't see Reid but he saw pieces of rope tied to the bedposts. His eyes went to the blood that was on the bed.

Hotch walked to door that led to the bathroom, he opened the door and felt shock run through him at what he saw. Sitting against the bathroom wall next to the shower was a bloody, bruised and almost catatonic Reid. Hotch wanted to rush forward but stopped when he saw the blood over Reid's unbuckled trousers.

"Emily! JJ!" Hotch shouted out of the bathroom. A rush of footsteps came towards the bathroom. JJ and Emily both gasped as they reached the bathroom door and saw Reid. Rossi held Morgan back as best as he could. Rossi knew that Reid would react badly to a male touch.

Emily and JJ rushed forward and kneeled next to Reid.

"Spence, it's JJ and Emily."

JJ gasped slightly as Reid lifted his head to lock at her. One of his eyes had swollen shut and his face was covered with bruises she knew were going to get darker and worse. His lip was bloody and he had blood running from his nose. JJ knew that they had been too late to save Reid as she saw the blood down his trousers. Jacob Harris was gone and he had left behind a broken innocent man. JJ could hear Morgan calling for an ambulance while Hotch called for a forensic team.

"Spence, talk to me please," JJ said gently. Reid began to cry softly making JJ heart break at the sight of seeing him so hurt and vunerable. Reid looked JJ in the eye.

"I-I told. H-He s-said he w-was g-going to hurt me a-again and he d-did," Reid whispered to JJ.

"Help is on its way. You are safe now," Emily said.

"I'mm...n-never g-gonna be safe," Reid cried gently. "It is m-my fault h-he d-did this. I-I told, I d-didn't o-obey him."

"No!" JJ said before she put her hand to Reid's cheek. "Reid, this is not your fault. You did nothing wrong, Jacob is a  
monster and he did this to you. We are going to catch him Reid, I promise you that we will catch that bastard."

Reid didn't respond as his eyes rolled into the back of his head and he slid to the floor.

**Please review**


	27. Chapter 27

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter.**

**Thank you so much for all the reviews, they were all fantastic. Namira, your reviews are never useless. They are always welcome and I love reiding them. Thank you again to everyone, all the reviews were amazing and fantastic.**

**I hope that you enjoy this chapter.**

**Please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Four hours later**

The entire team sat in the waiting room of the hospital, they didn't talk to each other. They all just sat there in shock of what had happened to Reid. The sound of his muffled screams still echoed in their minds, it was sound that none of them would or could ever forget. Garcia had stopped crying and was now in the comforting embrace of Morgan's arms. Garcia couldn't believe what had happened to Reid. Her junior g-man was yet again lying in a hospital bed because they had not protected him.

The entire team felt guilt at not getting to Reid in time. They hated knowing what he had been through. They all knew that they should have been there to stop it.

"Spencer Reid," a voice called. The entire team looked up to see Reid's doctor standing in front of them. Hotch immediately stood up to talk to the doctor.

"How is he?" Hotch asked. The doctor looked at Hotch with worried eyes before he began to speak.

"He is currently under sedation, we had to sedate him so that we could work on him. Firstly, he has rope burn marks around his wrists and marks around his ankles. He has a sprained wrist, he also has severe bruising and swelling in his face from being beaten, he also has a broken nose. He also has bruising on his ribs. He has been raped and quite violently. We performed a rape kit when he was sedated. He lost a lot of blood so we are giving him a transfusion," the doctor explained quickly.

Hotch let out a small breath as he tried to steady his emotions. Hotch brought himself back to attention and knew questions had to be asked.

"Did you get anything from the kit?" Hotch asked shakily, he was struggling to keep himself calm.

"We have DNA evidence, Spencer's attacker didn't wear anything during the assault. We are running some tests on some blood that we took from Spencer but he will need to come back for more. Spencer has been through a traumatic assault. He will be coming around in the next half hour. I'm happy to allow him a visitor to be there when he wakes up," the doctor said sadly.

"I'll do it," Rossi said quickly. The rest of the team nodded in agreement. They weren't sure if they could be the one to talk to Reid when he woke up.

"Can we all just see him quickly? Just so that we know he is okay," JJ asked the doctor. The doctor nodded and started to walk towards Reid's room with the team following behind him almost at his heels. The doctor stopped outside of Reid's room.

"I must warn you that he was beaten quite badly and I want you to prepare yourself for what you see," the doctor warned them before he opened the door. The team stepped into the room and felt pure horror at Reid's appearance. His left eye was a dark almost black bruise, his left eye was swollen shut and looked incredibly painful. His nose was swollen and his bottom lip was swollen and had a cut on it. His entire face was littered with dark bruises causing him to be almost unrecognisable. His wrist had been wrapped up. The sound of the heart monitor echoed through the room.

Everyone could see the bag of blood hanging from the Reid's IV pole, they followed the tube coming from the bag and looked to Reid's arm. They all couldn't stop staring at the oxygen cannula under Reid's nose or the wires and tubes attached to his body.

Garcia let out a small sob before running from the room. Morgan backed away from the room and went after her, he couldn't stay in the room. Reid's screams had echoed in Morgan's mind the moment he had set eyes of Reid.

"I'm sorry I can't stay here," JJ gasped before she left the room. Hotch nodded to Emily. Emily took one last look at Reid before leaving the room.

"He can't come back from this," Hotch said quietly before walking to Reid's side, he took Reid's hand into his own. "I'm so sorry that we weren't there for you. We'll get Harris, you just rest."

Rossi watched with tears threatening to fall as he watched Hotch talk to Reid's unconcious and sedated form. He watched as Hotch placed Reid's hand back down on the bed. Hotch walked back over to Rossi. Neither of the men said anything for a few moments.

"Hotch, I'll stay here with him. Go and get some air," Rossi said gently to him. Hotch nodded and walked out of the room slowly. The doctor gave Rossi a small smile before leaving the room, he closed the door behind him.

Rossi took a seat next to Reid and stared at the young man. Rossi could barely recognise Reid. He sat at Reid's bed silently and waited for Reid to wake up.

**One hour later**

Reid felt a dull pain as he tried to open his eyes. Reid gasped almost silently as he lifted his head. Reid tried to open his eyes but found that only one would open. The other eye refused to move. Reid felt pain as he awoke. Reid was confused for a few moments as he tried to remember where he was. Reid looked to his side and saw Rossi. Reid started to breathe more heavily as he remembered what had happened to him. Rossi looked up from his book and saw Reid was awake. He rushed forward and tried to calm Reid down.

Reid winced when he tried to move, his private area unbearably painful. He couldn't stop shaking as memories of his assault flashed to the front on his mind. Reid let out small whine before he started to cry.

"Reid, its Rossi. You are safe now. You are okay...shhh," Rossi said to Reid as he carefully put his hands on his shoulder. Reid continued to sob. Rossi quickly pressed the call button for the nurses. Rossi tried to calm Reid down as he waited for the doctor.

The doctor rushed in and over to Reid's side.

"Spencer, my name is Dr Williams. You are in the hospital, I need you to take a few deep breaths and calm down. You are completely safe here. Just breathe," Dr Williams instructed Reid.

Reid looked up to Dr Williams. Reid couldn't see the doctor properly, he couldn't even see out of his left eye. Reid looked at Dr Williams and took shaky deep breaths as he tried to calm himself. Reid managed to calm down his breathing but his entire body still trembled wit fear and pain.

"C-can he g-go away?" Reid whispered to Dr Williams as he looked at Rossi. Rossi was slightly hurt by the fact that Reid wanted him to leave. Dr Williams turned to Rossi.

"Agent Rossi, I think that you are upsetting Spencer. I have to ask you to leave," Dr Williams ordered. Rossi looked to Reid and saw that the genius would not look at him. Rossi left the room knowing his chances of being allowed back in were slim.

Dr Williams turned his attention back to Reid. He pulled out a small torch and asked Reid to follow the light. Reid's right eye followed the light. Dr Williams took a seat on Reid's bed to talk to Reid.

"Spencer, I need you to tell me how you feel."

"S-scared and h-hurt. I-I can s-still feel him," Reid sobbed gently, it was true though, he could still feel Jacob Harris's  
hands punching and brutally beating him.

"I'm so sorry that this happened to you Spencer. Is there anything worrying you?" Dr Williams continued to ask.

"I can't s-see out of my left e-eye. Everyt-thing hurts," Reid moaned gently.

"You can't see out of your left eye as you have extreme swelling from the multiple hits that your face and eye took. The swelling will go down but I must warn you that you might have sight problems in the future. I doubt that you will but I just wanted to be honest with you. For now, I want you to try and restrict your movements till your body has healed more. I want you to rest and I am recommending that you see a therapist."

"No! N-No therapist! They will l-lock me away again. Please d-don't s-send me back, I'm n-not c-crazy. Please," Reid begged.

"I think that you need to talk to someone about what happened Spencer. No-one thinks that you are crazy. Keeping it inside will hurt you and restrict your recovery. Please talk to someone," Dr Williams said as he tried to persuade Reid.

"I-I don't w-want my team in here, I don't w-want them near me," Reid shouted before he brought his voice back to a low level. "Can you do m-me a f-favour?"

"Of Course Spencer."

"C-can you call someone f-for m-me? I-If you want me t-to talk, h-he is the on-only one I w-will talk to," Reid said as he pulled his the hospital cover further into his body.

"Who would you like me to call?"

"H-His name is J-Jason Gideon."

**Please review. Yes, I am bringing back Gideon and he will be a prominent character in the fanfic till further notice. All part of my plan. **


	28. Chapter 28

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter.**

**Thank you all for the reviews again. You have no idea how big my smile is when I see them. **

**I was nervous about bring Gideon back but I think that it was the best direction to go. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Gideon waited impatiently for the elevator doors to open as he made his way to Reid. He had been asleep when he recieved a call from Dr Williams telling him that Reid was in hospital. He was filled with fustration because he didn't know why Reid was in the hospital. Gideon rushed out the elevator doors before they even opened fully. He half jogged down the corridors will he reached the reception desk for the ward. A small nurse looked up at him and smiled.

"Can I help you sir?"

"I'm looking for Spencer Reid,my name is Jason Gideon and I was called down here by a Dr Williams," Gideon said slightly out of breath. Gideon watched as the nurse's smile fell from her face, he knew then that something was very wrong with Reid. The nurse called for Dr Williams over the loudspeaker. Gideon waited for about a minute before a middle aged man in a white coat came to the desk. The nurse spoke before Gideon had the chance.

"This is Jason Gideon, he is here to see Spencer Reid," the nurse explained. Dr Williams handed a chart to the nurse before holding his hand out for Gideon to shake. Gideon shook the hand in front of him.

"I'm Dr Williams. I'm the doctor in charge of Spencer's care."

"What happened to him? Is he okay?" Gideon pushed, he wanted the answers he had not been given over the phone.

"I'll explain on the way if you will follow me," Dr Williams said as he beckoned for Gideon to follow him. Gideon started to walk with the doctor and listened as he spoke.

"Spencer came in here after he was found by his team in his apartment. He has been raped and beaten quite violently, he lost a lot of blood but we gave him a transfusion. He is having a hard time with what happened to him. He asked me to call you. Mr Gideon, I want him to speak with a someone professional but he has refused. He also doesn't want his team anywhere near him. He thinks that we will send him to the psych ward. Right now Spencer needs to rest and anything you can do to help keep him calm or help him through what has happened will be appreciated," Dr Williams said sadly before he stopped outside of Reid's room. Gideon nodded before walking into Reid's room, he felt his stomach drop at what he saw.

"Oh god," he gasped as he walked over to Reid's bedside. He could barely recognised the Reid that was asleep in front of him.

"I'll leave you alone, please just see if he will talk about what happened? It will hinder his recovery if he keeps everything buried inside," Dr Williams said gently before walking out of the room and closing the door. Gideon pulled a chair to the bed and took a seat next to Reid's bed. He couldn't stop looking at the massive bruise that covered Reid's swollen eye and part of his cheek. He saw the other dark bruises on Reid's face.

Gideon knew that Reid had not called him for the last few months. He knew that the team had something to do with it. The last time he had spoken to Reid was over the phone. They had talked and Gideon was happy to hear the Reid was doing better. He had started to worry lately why Reid had not contacted him for so long. The team wouldn't tell him anything, they refused to speak with him.

Gideon became angry as he thought about the team. They were supposed to be protecting Reid, they should have stopped this from happening. Gideon knew that he was going to confront the team. He was not letting them get away with failing to protect Reid this time.

Reid moaned slightly causing Gideon to snap back into attention. Gideon took Reid's hand and held it as the bruised genius began to awake. Gideon watched as Reid opened his right eye and looked at him. Reid pulled himself slowly up the bed to sit up, he never took his eye off Gideon.

"G-Gideon," Reid whispered as he stared at Gideon.

"It's me Reid. What happened to you?" Gideon asked.

Gideon watched as Reid's lower lip began to quiver. Gideon immediately got up and sat on the bed next to Reid. Reid began to cry gently. Gideon was surprised when Reid rushed forward a bit and threw his arms around him. Gideon instantly put his arms round Reid and hugged the crying and sobbing man. He held Reid and rocked the young man, as he held Reid he wondered if Reid's father had ever done this for Reid. He wondered if the young man who he was holding, the man he would have been proud to have as a son, had ever known what it was like to have a proper father.

"Reid, everything is okay now. I'm here now. I promise no-one will hurt you while I'm here. I'm not going anywhere. Reid, I know you don't want to talk about it but I need you to tell me how you ended up like this. What happened?" Gideon said gently as Reid continued to cry with his breathing hitching every now and then.

"H-He d-did what he said he was g-going to do. I-I t-told and he found m-me. He t-tied me to my bed and t-then he forced himself o-on me. He f-forced me again to go th-through that," Reid whispered in an almost child like voice.

"What do you mean again? Has this happened before?" Gideon said in horror as he pulled away from the hug slightly, he carefully put his hands on Reid's face and made Reid look at him. Reid nodded before he began to speak.

"He w-was a guard at the mental h-hospital. H-He did it t-to me when I was in t-there. The team w-went after him a-after everything with Jay, after I told t-them wh-what had happened back in t-that place. His n-name is Jacob Harris, h-his t-trial for what h-he did to me was next week. H-He promised t-that he would come f-for me if I told any-anyone and he did. He came and h-he hurt me," Reid sobbed gently before he took a sharp intake of breath and looked up at Gideon, his right eye showing pure emotion, the emotion of pure fear.

"I-I told you. H-He'll find out and he will h-hurt me again. Oh god! I shouldn't h-have s-said anything," Reid started to shout hysterically.

Gideon wrapped his arms around Reid and pulled him into a hug, he held Reid's body and head tightly as Reid began to struggle. Gideon knew he had to calm Reid down or Reid was going to hurt himself.

"Reid! He will never touch you again! I promised you, I am not going to leave your side till he caught. Calm down! He won't find you again," Gideon said strongly as he tried to calm Reid down. Reid stopped struggling gradually as he listened to Gideon's word. Reid hugged Gideon again. He found himself safe as Gideon hugged him.

Gideon knew that he had calmed Reid down. He knew his own emotions were a completely different matter though. Gideon knew inside himself was pure rage and anger at the not only the man who had brutalised Reid but at the team.

They had not been there for Reid.

And there was going to be hell to pay for them.

**Please review**


	29. Chapter 29

**Hey everyone, here is the new chapter. I am sorry for the delay but I had to do some extra work at where I work so I have been a bit behind.**

**There is a flashback to Reid's attack so little warning there. **

**Enjoy this chapter and please review. Also I am very surprised no-one has figured out why I have named Reid's doctor what I have named him. Points to who can guess.**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Please review**

Gideon continued comforting and hugging Reid till Reid fell asleep in his arms. Gideon looked down and saw that Reid was slumped against his shoulder. He carefully lowered Reid back to the hospital bed, he was careful to avoid waking the traumatised young man. Gideon pulled the covers over Reid and placed the oxygen cannula back under Reid's nose. Gideon let out an loud audible sign as he watched Reid sleep in the bed. He hated knowing that Reid had gone through something so traumatic and horrifying, he hated knowing that Reid had been all alone.

Where had the team been? How could they have let this happen?

Gideon watched Reid sleep for ten minutes before his attention was drawn to a loud ruckus outside of the room. He made sure that Reid was still asleep before he made his way out of the door. Once out of the door, he felt his blood boil with anger when he saw who was shouting. He felt his blood boil as he saw Rossi, Hotch and Morgan. Gideon stormed over to the three men, he instantly caught their attention.

Morgan was the first to question Gideon's prescence.

"What the hell are you doing here?" Morgan shouted at Gideon.

"I'm here because Reid wants me here. He got the doctor to call me down here, I've just spent the last half hour with him. He is traumatised and scared. How the hell could you let this happen?" Gideon said angrily.

"We didn't let this happen," Hotch snapped back even though he didn't believe his own words. Hotch knew deep down that he should have reached out to Reid more, he should have made Reid stay with him or another member of the team. He should have made sure that Reid was safe.

"He doesn't want to see any of you. I can see why. He never told me that he was raped in the mental hospital. You sent him to that place, you sent him to hell and you don't think that this is your fault. I thought you were smarter than this Hotch. He was your responsibility, you were his team leader. You put him in that place and you let that happen to him. He has suffered because of you!"

"Where the hell were you? What gives you the right to come here and tell us about responsibilty? You abandoned him all those years ago, you have no idea how badly that affected him. You came back into his life and then you contact him every now and then," Rossi snapped at Gideon.

"He asked for space after his first kidnapping and I gave him that space, he always called me if something was troubling him. I'm telling you right here and now that you and the team are not going nowhere near Reid till he wants you near him. When he well enough to leave here I am taking him away from the city, away from you three, the rest of the team and anyone that could hurt him for a while. He needs somewhere peaceful where he can recover. He isn't going to recover if you are near him," Gideon explained.

"He is not going anywhere with you," Morgan said angrily before he took a step forward. Hotch grabbed Morgan's shoulder and pulled him back.

"He isn't going back with any of you. He is coming with me to my cabin where he can find some peace. He needs time to work out and get through what happened to him."

"You can't take him from the team Gideon, you are not taking him away from his family," Rossi fumed.

"I can if he wants to stay away from you all," Gideon spat back.

**Reid**

_Reid couldn't breathe as pain ran through his body, he couldn't make his mind work. All his mind registered was excruciating pain as he watched Jacob dress himself. Reid could no longer hear the team, he looked to the side sluggishly and saw the phone had been disconnected. He is face felt like it had been smashed into a brick wall, he could barely see out if his swelling eye. Reid throat felt raw as he laid on the bed, his hands still tied the bedposts._

_Reid couldn't stop crying as he felt shame run through him. He had let this happen, he had told the team and others about what had happened to him. He shouldn't have told them. He wouldn't have been put through this torture and pain all over again. Reid whimpered into his gag as Jacob pulled up Reid's trousers. Reid cried harder when Jacob leaned over him, he felt his arms and legs become free as Jacob cut the ropes. Jacob left the gag on. Reid was frozen on the bed , he couldn't move as he felt pain below. Jacob leaned over so he was face to face with Reid._

_"I have to run now, your team are going to be here very soon and I don't want to run into your three friends again. I guess you've learnt what happens when you tell. Goodbye crazy," Jacob smiled before sending a brutal punch into Reid's face causing Reid to let out a muffled yelp of pain._

_Reid closed his eyes and didn't open them till he heard his front door shut. Reid laid down on the bed breathing heavily before he decided he could stay there any more, he needed to get clean. He needed to wash away Jacob._

_Lifting his arms painfully to his face, he ignored the pain in his wrist and pulled the gag of his face. A loud gasp escaped his lips as he began to cry heavily. Reid pulled himself off the bed, he yelped and sobbed harder as he hit his bedroom floor. Reid looked up back at the bed and felt pure shock at how much blood was on the bed, he looked to the floor and realised that carpet floor was smeared with blood as he moved his leg._

_His entire left eye had swollen shut, he looked up and saw his bathroom door was open. Reid began to drag himself towards the door, he whimpered at the pain it caused. He pulled himself along the bathroom floor, he reached the bath and tried to reach the taps. He collapsed back to the floor and fell away from the bath. He leaned against the wall and felt his entire mind shut down as tears continued to fall down his cheeks. He took on last look at the bathroom door, his eyes followed the trail of blood he had created._

_Reid looked down and noticed there was blood on his converses. His mind refused to accept what had just happened to him as he couldn't think straight._

_Reid stared at his converses, his mind receding back to a safe place._

_**'When did I get blood on my shoes?**' Reid thought as he continued to stare at his shoes._

Reid jolted awake in his bed and looked around, he found no-one was around him but he could hear angry voices outside. Where was Gideon? Reid didn't want to stay in the bed, he wanted to leave. He needed to find Gideon. Reid felt sad as he still couldn't open his left eye. Reid looked down at his hand and pulled the I.V out. Reid carefully lifted the oxygen cannula from his nose. Reid whimpered slightly as he lifted himself up off the bed. He put his feet to the floor, he almost buckled to the ground as he felt searing pain rip through him. Reid grabbed the wall and kept himself, his struggled to breathe as the pain ran through him. Reid took a few more steps before the pain became too much for him to bear. Reid fell to the floor, his breathing heavy. Reid heard the door open.

"Spencer!" Dr Williams gasped as he saw Reid on the floor. Dr Williams rushed over to Reid and checked if he was okay. He knew he needed to the young man back into bed and sedated.

"I need some help in here," Dr Williams shouted.

"I-I need t-to find G-Gideon. Gonna k-keep me s-safe," Reid slurred as he struggled to try and get back up.

Dr Williams saw two nurses come into the room followed by Gideon.

"Mr Gideon, I need you to help get him back to bed," Dr Williams said. Gideon nodded and lifted Reid up with the nurses help. They placed Reid back on the bed.

Reid began to call for Gideon, his voice slurring as he began to struggled with the others. Gideon carefully grabbed Reid's cheek and made Reid face him.

"I'm here Reid, you are okay," Gideon said as he tried to calm Reid.

"You h-have t-to keep m-me safe l-like you p-promised. Are y-you gonna k-keep me safe?" Reid asked with a small voice.

"I will keep you safe, I promise you that no-one will hurt you again."

**Hope that was okay. Please review**


	30. Chapter 30

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all you lovely readers. **

**First of all thank you so much for the reviews, I forgot to say thank you as well in my last chapter. Sorry about that but when I was posting that chapter I was literally ten minutes away from leaving for work. Thank you for the reviews, they were amazing. Namira, I loved the quote but just need to clarify there are no lovers in this. **

**Okay so if you've read this trilogy you may realise that I like to reference Dr Who as Reid is a fan. (I prefer David tennant to Matt Smith). Dr Williams is a reference to Rory Williams in Dr Who. **

**Enjoy the chapter and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**One week later**

Gideon let Reid sleep as he collected the items Reid had accumlated in the week that he had been in the hospital. It had been a stressful week for everyone. Gideon had been dealing with Reid's emotional trauma while also trying to deal with the team continuous efforts to see Reid. Reid didn't want to see any of the team. Gideon knew why but he also knew that Reid wasn't entirely ready to leave the team behind. He had seen Reid's reaction to Garcia trying to visit, she had dropped of a basket full of things for Reid that ranged from doctor who dvds to his favourite books. Reid had gone through the basket and found a small knitted bear with a scarf and glasses on. Reid had slept with the bear for the last four days.

The profiler inside Gideon could tell that there was a close relationship between the two, he hadn't realised though how strong that bond was though. He could see that Reid wanted nothing more than see Garcia but something was stopping him.

Gideon finished packing the bag, he looked to Reid. He gently shook Reid's shoulder to wake him up. The doctor had removed all of Reid's IV's and had given him the go ahead to leave the hospital. Gideon had medication that he had to make sure Reid took and had to keep an eye out for any problems that Reid might have.

Gideon just wanted to get Reid to his Cabin, he wanted Reid to have time to recover from everything he had been through. Reid had agreed to go to the cabin and rest. Gideon knew that Reid would not be able to face returning to his apartment any time soon, he knew Reid needed time till he confronted the horrors that were in his mind.

Reid moaned slightly before his eyes fluttered open. Reid laid against his bed, he had gotten changed into some loose pyjamas earlier in the day but had fallen back to sleep.

"Reid, its time to go," Gideon smiled at Reid. Reid gave a small gentle nod before he leaned up form the bed. Gideon helped the still sleepy Reid off the bed and into a wheelchair. The swelling from Reid's left eye had gone down and he was able to open his eye slightly although this only made everyone who looked at him more aware of the pain he was feeling inside.

"W-wait, my bear," Reid panicked as he noticed that the bear Garcia had given him wasn't with him. Reid knew it was childish to have the bear but he felt comfort from it.

Gideon quickly walked over to the bed and grabbed the small knitted bear. Reid smiled as Gideon handed him the bear.

"I already had someone collect some things for you to have at the cabin. She is putting them in the car now," Gideon said as he watched Reid simply just stare at the hospital door.

Gideon hoped he was doing the right thing, he hoped that Reid was ready to see her.

**Reid**

Reid thanked Dr Williams as they left the hospital, he held the knitted bear tightly. He was barely aware of everything around him as Gideon pushed him down the corridors. Reid jumped slightly when he heard a small ding, he looked up and saw that they were in the parking lot of the hospital. Gideon pushed the wheelchair to the car, Reid was slightly shocked at who he saw at the car.

"G-Garcy," Reid said quietly as he tried to recover from the shock of seeing her again.

"Hey Reid," Garcia smiled sadly, she looked down and noticed Reid holding the bear. "I'm see you got the bear that I made."

Gideon looked to Reid, Reid realised by the lack of anger and surprise on his face that he knew Garcia had been waiting. Reid bit his lip nervously before talking.

"Can I have a-a f-few m-minutes alone with G-Garcia?"

"I'll go and get you a soda from the machine," Gideon said before he looked to Garcia. "Keep an eye on him Garcia."

Reid turned back to face Garcia, he didn't like the way that she looked. She wasn't colourful and alive like she usually was. She had circles under her eyes that Reid knew were from a lack of sleep. He had had them enough. There was an awkward silence between the two before Reid broke it.

"I'm sorry G-Garcy," Reid said before he started to cry. Garcia rushed over to Reid and kneeled down in front of him, she ignored the cold feeling of the concrete on her knees.

"No I'm the one that should be sorry. I should have told you sooner about the hospital. Oh Reid, I'm so sorry about what the monster did to you. It is my fault that he hurt you," Garcia cried gently as she stroked her hand through his hair.

Reid ignored the pain in his wrist and he reached up and grabbed Garcia's face gently. Garcia looked shocked at the action.

"D-Don't you ever s-say that! It was not y-your fault. Don't e-ever t-think it w-was your fault," Reid cried.

"It was though, you would have never gone home so soon if I hadn't made you angry. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry for everything that has happened. I'm sorry that I lied to you. I wanted to protect you."

"Garcy I-I know that you couldn't h-have done a-anything to get me out o-of there but H-Hotch could h-have tried. I'm s-sorry that I s-screamed at you. I w-was just having a horrible day. I thought G-Gideon didn't w-want any of t-the team n-near me, I don't w-want any of t-the team near m-me now," Reid sniffled.

"Do you want me to go?" Garcia said sadly.

"No!" Reid said as he grabbed Garcia's hand tightly. Garcia gripped his hand back. "D-Did Gideon c-call you down h-here?"

"I helped him get the cabin ready. Gideon still talks to me. I was the one who called him when Jay Henson first hurt you, we kept in contact after that. He called me because he said that you might want to see me," Garcia admitted.

"I m-missed you so m-much, I didn't w-want you t-to see me l-like t-this, I didn't w-want you t-to see what h-he had done to me. T-Thank you for t-the bear. I c-can sleep when I have it. I c-can sleep because I-I know you made it."

"I missed you too. I will always be here no matter what you look like. The team are trying to catch Jacob Harris for what he did to you. I'm so happy that you like the bear, I made the scarf like the one Tom Baker wore in Doctor who. I know how much you love Dr Who," Garcia smiled as he brushed a few loose strands of hair from Reid's face.

"G-Garcy, c-can you vi-visit me at the c-cabin? J-Just y-you though I don't w-want the team near m-me. I'm not r-ready," Reid asked Garcia.

"I will come and visit you, I also want you to call me if you ever need to talk or if you have a nightmare. You call me  
whenever you need me and I will come to help. Just remember that the team is here as well, when you are ready maybe we can all have dinner together. I just want you to rest and take your time to recover. Can you promise me that you will call me if anything happens," Garcia said to Reid.

"I-I promise. Can you p-promise me something?" Reid said back.

"Of course, what is it?"

"Promise me t-that y-you will get s-some sleep."

**I had to bring Garcia and Reid back together, I missed writing the two so much. **

**Please review**


	31. Chapter 31

**Hey everyone, sorry for the slight delay with this chapter. I had an allergic reaction and my eyes have been swollen today so it has been a bit hard seeing my computer screen. **

**Thank you all for the reviews. They were all amazing and I have to say to Namira, your review was so long that it wouldn't fit in my email message. You can have as much senseless delirium as you want. There is going to be some Morgan and Reid scenes very soon so don't fret. The reason I have him with bear is because he is vulnerable and fragile. I loved when you used the word reunification when talking about Garcia and Reid.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistake are my own**

Reid let the soothing breeze rush through his hair as he stared out of the window. He couldn't stop picturing Garcia's face as he left the hospital with Gideon. He had seen her in the car door mirror, her face had fallen into one of sadness and loneliness when he had left.

Reid barely noticed as Gideon pulled into the road that led to the cabin. Reid did like the fact that the entire area near the cabin was sensored and that CCTV cameras circled the immediate area. It made Reid feel a little safer. Reid let out a small smile when he saw the cabin come into view, it was a large cabin with enough room that if he needed some time alone, he could have it. There was a small lake nearby where he knew he could go if he needed peace.

Reid watched as Gideon turned the engine. Reid grabbed his sacthel from in front of him. Garcia had brought it along with a few books and his personal items. Reid knew that Gideon was not going to be happy with him but he needed something to calm him. Reid pulled out the cigarette packet he had in there and his lighter from the satchel. He looked up at Gideon when he heard Gideon let out a sigh.

"Garcia told me that you had started to smoke. Reid, I don't approve of you smoking, it is bad for your health," Gideon sighed.

"Like being b-beaten to a p-pulp wasn't bad f-for my health," Reid snapped before he realised what he done. Gideon maintained his poker face. Reid leaned his head back and let out along breath.

"I'm so-sorry for snapping a-at you," Reid apologised.

"It's okay. Just know that when you want to stop smoking those death sticks that I will be there. Can you at least smoke outside while you are here?" Gideon asked.

"Yeah, I-I'm just going to h-have one now. I'll go h-have one by the l-lake," Reid said.

"Do you want some help getting down there? Do you want me to come with you?" Gideon asked. Gideon wanted to make sure that Reid had support, he knew that the only people who knew they were staying at the cabin were Garcia and the team. He knew that Reid would be safe. He just needed to know if Reid himself felt safe.

"No, I just need s-some t-time alone. I-I'll call if I need help," Reid smiled sadly before he opened his door.

Reid slid out of the car gently, he was still in some pain but he ignored it. He needed to walk, he needed to stretch his legs after spending a week in the hospital bed. Reid walked slowly down the path, he knew that Gideon watched him the entire time as he walked down the path. Reid help the lighter and cigarettes tightly in his hand, he hadn't had a cigarette since before entering his apartment.

Reid shivered slightly even though it was warm. He shivered at the horrific memory of what had been done to him. Reid let out a smile as he reached the lake. He was slightly taken back by how beautiful the lake was as the sun rippled through the crystal water.

Reid gritted his teeth as he sat down on a small rock near the lake. He took a few deep breaths as he let the pain pass. He pulled a cigarette from the packet and placed it between his lips. He put the packet between his lips and picked up his lighter. Reid flicked on the lighter and lit the cigarette.

Reid felt calm as he smoked the cigarette. He let his mind wander as he held it in his hands.

What was he going to do?

Reid hated not knowing what the next day in his life was going to hold. He hated not knowing what he was going to do. The man who had brutally taken away the last shred of dignity he had was still out there. He was still capable of hurting him again. Reid took another drag of his cigarette as he felt his himself become upset.

Reid began to cry gently as he finally let everything hit him.

He didn't understand what he had done to deserve anything that had happened to him. He didn't understand why his body had been marked with scars that he knew he could never scrub away like magic. Reid wanted to be clean again, he didn't want to be seen as something used and filthy. Reid looked to the lake and felt let out a small laugh through his tears.

Reid took one last drag of his cigarette before he dropped it to the ground and rubbed it out with his foot. Reid walked towards the lake, he stopped at the edge of it before he walked into the water. He gasped slightly as his trousers become wet, it only took a few more steps before the water covered his body up to his neck. Reid laughed like a child as he began to swim in the lake. He turned himself over so he was looking at the sky. He allowed himself to float on the surface of the lake, his liked the feeling of floating. He liked how the water felt in his hair and on his skin.

It made him feel clean.

"Reid!" a voice yelled causing Reid to lose his concentration. He felt himself sink into the water for a moment before he swam up to the surface. He looked up to the edge of the lake and saw Gideon. Reid coughed slightly before started to swim towards Gideon. Gideon took a few steps into the water as Reid became near. He took Reid's arms and helped Reid out of the water.

"Reid, what the hell were you doing?" Gideon asked. Gideon noticed that Reid was laughing.

"I-I have no i-idea. J-Just wanted t-to swim," Reid laughed.

**Please review**


	32. Chapter 32

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you all. I hope that you enjoy the chapter.**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews, again you are all amazing. I'm sorry my chapters having been long but still having trouble with my eyes. Look like I've been in a boxing match with JJ. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Three days later**

Reid was sat by the lake as with a book in his lap and a few more books by his side. Gideon had left him alone at his own request, he knew that Gideon just wanted to keep an eye on him but he needed time to himself. Reid looked around for a few seconds before he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Reid didn't want to admit it, not even to himself but he was still scared of every noise and every creak that he heard. Nightmares still plagued his sleeping mind, they differed each and every night but they scared him all the same. The worst nightmare all of the men that had hurt him, all of the sick bastards who had chosen him to torture. The men that almost made him commit suicide.

The dream had been long and had featured all of them taking turns to hurt him. Jacob had been the last two hurt him in the dream. He had woken up screaming his throat raw till Gideon ran into the room and helped him calm down.

Reid let his mind wander as he smoked the cigarette, he knew he was smoking too many of them. He had been smoking more and more as the nightmares got worse.

"Hey junior g-man," a voice shouted happily. Reid jumped slightly and took the cigarette out of his mouth. He turned around to see Garcia with a picnic basket and other bags making her way down the slightly sloped path. Reid held the cigarette in his hands and panicked as he tried to throw it somewhere Garcia wouldn't see it. He threw it to the ground next to him and rubbed his foot over it to put it out. Reid started to walk over to Garcia as she finally made it down to the edge of the lake.

Garcia put the picnic basket down and ran to meet Reid.

"Hey Garcy," Reid said before Garcia wrapped her arms around him and hugged him tightly.

"I've missed you so much," Garcia said happily. Reid wrapped his arms around her and hugged her back. She withdrew from the hug and put her hands on his face.

"The swelling in your eye has gone down. You look so much better. How do you feel?" Garcia asked.

"I'm okay, s-still having n-nightmares b-but its peaceful here. G-Gideon is taking c-care of me," Reid told her. He smiled when he saw she was wearing the necklace he had given her. Garcia noticed him looking at the necklace and gave a small laugh.

"I never take it off," she smiled.

"W-Why are you h-here?" Reid asked confused.

"To visit my junior g-man of course, I have brought a picnic full of goodies and I have presents for you. Gideon thought it would be good for you to have some company. Well, we both agreed that it would be good if you had a dose of my sparkling magic," Garcia chuckled before she walked over to picnic basket and opened it up. She pulled out a large blanket and laid it down on the floor.

"Shall we?"

Reid let out a small laugh before making his way over to the blanket Garcia was setting down.

**Twenty minutes later**

Garcia and Gideon both sat watching as Reid devoured a large piece of chocolate cake. They were both amazed at how much he had eaten. He had eaten more food than they had ever seen. Garcia was over the moon as she watched Reid fork mouthful after mouthful into his mouth. She was just happy to see him eating.

Gideon was happy as well as he saw how much Reid was enjoying the food and sitting by the lake. Gideon was going to leave the Garcia and Reid alone but they had called him down. He had to admit it felt good to be sitting with Garcia and Reid, he felt like he was part of a small family.

"Are you ready for a present?" Garcia asked Reid. Reid swallowed the last piece of his cake.

"W-What pr-present?" Reid asked. Garcia took out a small wet wipe and handed it to Reid.

"First present is a wipe to wipe off all that chocolate around your mouth."

Reid quickly took the wet wipe and wiped the chocolate icing around his mouth. Garcia pulled out a large wrapped up package and handed it to Reid. Reid unwrapped it and let out a small chuckle.

"When your wrist is better you can knit a few things. I didn't teach you how to knit for nothing," Garcia said.

"T-Thank you Garcy," Reid smiled as he looked at the selection of knitting needles and wool inside the box. He had already decided that he was going to knit Garcia a present.

"Here is your second present?" Garcia said as she pulled out three boxes and handed them to Reid. Reid looked confused before he turned over the box.

"Niccotine gum," Reid sighed.

"I want you to stop smoking Reid. Can you promise me that you will at least try?" Garcia said as she pointed to the packets of niccotine gum she had brought.

"I'll t-try."

**Four hours later**

Reid already missed Garcia, she had to leave after getting a call from Hotch who had a new case for the team. Reid hiccuped slightly as he still felt full from the second helpings he had had at the picnic. Reid was sitting by the lake again with a book in his hands. He closed his eyes as a warm breeze ran through his hair, he hummed slightly as he listened to everything that was around him. He felt a strange sense of calm come over him as he listened to the rippling of the water hitting the rocks on the ledge, he felt strangely calm as he listened to sound around him. The sounds of things that were natural and pure.

Reid opened his eyes and reach into the pocket, he pulled out his packet of cigarettes and his lighter. He opened the lid and stared at the cigarettes inside. He bit his lower lip before he got to his feet and walked to the edge of the lake. He looked at the cigarettes one more time before he pulled his arm back and threw the packet of cigarettes and his lighter into the lake as far as he could.

"I'm k-keeping my p-promise Garcy."

**Hope that was okay. Please review**


	33. Chapter 33

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you absolutely awesome super amazing readers. **

**Thank you for all the reviews and thank you for all the get well soons. My eyes are a lot better today and should be back to normal very soon.**

**Okay so firstly, Namira, I hope you like this chapter, I hope you like the cookie in the chapter. I've chosen not to make anyone die...maybe (see below). Thank you for you comments on setting the scene, I am so happy that I am doing that okay. Enjoy this chapter and let me know what you think. **

**JazzyPennyReid - Yes I am British and thank you for the review. It means a lot.**

**LaRieNGuBler - Thank you for the advice, I got some sleep and took some pills and my eyes are a lot better. I am very happy that you like the chapter and also see the message I leave below. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

**Three days later**

"Morgan, I'm not sure that this a good idea," Garcia said as she drove towards the cabin where Reid was staying. She still didn't know how Morgan had convinced her to take him to the cabin with her. Morgan had practically begged her till she said yes.

"Babygirl, I need to speak with Reid. I feel so guilty after the argument we had, I feel guilty at the fact I wasn't there for him after Jacob attacked him. I just need to speak with him. Gideon is the one who is going to be the problem," Morgan said to Garcia.

"Gideon know that you are coming. He isn't happy but I managed to get him to agree to let you speak with Reid. I'm warning you Morgan that Reid is fragile right now. He needs all the help he can get. Being at the cabin is helping his recovery. You should have seen how much food he went through. I'm warning you that the moment you get angry I am going to pull you out of there," Garcia said seriously.

"I won't get angry. I just want to talk to him. I just need to tell him how sorry I am for what happened," Morgan said sadly before he stared out of the window. Garcia sighed for a moment before she pressed down on the accelerator, she wanted to see Reid but she also didn't want Reid to get angry or upset with her for bringing Morgan down. Jacob Harris was still out there, the team had come close to catching him a few days before but he had disappeared by the time they had arrived.

Garcia smiled slightly as she pulled into the road that led up to the cabin, she pulled up outside of the cabin. Morgan stared at the cabin for a moment before getting out of the car. Garcia and Morgan walked up to the cabin door and knocked. They waited for a few moments before knocking again.

"Morgan, something is wrong," Garcia panicked as she knocked on the door hard again. Morgan kneeled down and pulled out the gun that he kept on his ankle. He had kept himself armed while Jacob Harris was still out in the world.

"Babygirl move," Morgan ordered Garcia, she stepped to the side and watched as Morgan kicked the cabin door open. He took her hand and kept her close behind him. Morgan knew that he couldn't risk leaving her alone outside, he was going to keep her close and safe.

Morgan walked around till he reached the kitchen. Garcia gasped as she took in the sight before her. Garcia looked around for a moment before running from behind Morgan and over to an unconcious Gideon. Garcia winced slightly as she saw the bloody head wound.

"Help!" a voice echoed from outside the cabin, it was distant and far away but Morgan and Garcia immediately recognised the voice the cry for help belonged to. It belonged to Reid.

"Morgan, go!" Garcia shouted at Morgan. Morgan nodded and ran towards Reid's cry for help.

**A few minutes earlier**

Reid was standing on the edge of the lake, he felt a little on edge after he had started chewing the niccotine gum. He knew that his body would adapt soon to not smoking any cigarettes. Reid threw another rock into the lake, he watched as the water rippled. Reid jumped slightly as he heard footsteps behind him. Reid turned around and expected to see Gideon, instead he saw a man that made his heart stop.

"Hello crazy," Jacob Harris smirked at Reid.

"Y-You c-can't b-be here," Reid panicked as his eyes went wide with fear, he dropped the stones that he had in his hands and started to back away.

"Why not? I just followed the pretty blond here a few days ago. I am sick of your team hunting me, I can't stay anywhere since they put my picture up on the news. I figured the best way to tell them to stop hunting me was to find you and get you to give them the message. I also figured why not have a little fun. I was tempted to have some fun with the pretty blond but decided she wasn't right for me," Jacob taunted before he started to walk towards Reid.

"Y-You leave G-Garcy alone!" Reid screamed at Jacob.

Jacob gave Reid an evil smile before he started to run towards Reid. Reid tried to run away but grunted as he felt another body tackle his. Reid smacked onto the ground front first and began to struggle as he Jacob pinned his hands to the floor and sat on his legs. Reid breathing got heavier as Jacob leaned down near his hear, Jacob's hot breathe on his ear made him struggle more.

"I want you to deliver a little message to your team, I want you to tell them to stop their hunt of me or else I will keep coming after you. I will hurt them as well, I will kill them if they come near me. You tell them this message. I'll leave you with enough of yourself to deliver the message, you can be sure of that. Enough of business, its time for some pleasure," Jacob laughed before he pulled Reid's hands together above Reid's head and pinned them there.

"Help!" Reid screamed as heard Jacob undo his zipper. Reid began to cry as he felt Jacob stroke his hand down his back.

"Scream all you want, your little friend isn't coming to your rescue," Jacob laughed before he started to put his hand on the top of Reid's trousers. Reid screamed and cried harder. He couldn't go through this again, he couldn't be used by the man again.

Reid flinched as two gunshots sounded loudly. Reid let out a shaky breath as Jacob Harris fell of him. Reid quickly crawled away from Jacob Harris's body, a body that now had two gunshot wounds. Reid hit a rock behind him and and sat against it, he brought his knees up to his chest and cried gently. Reid stared at the two dead eyes staring back at him.

"Reid!" a voice called causing Reid to look up at the path that led down to the lake.

"M-Morgan," Reid called out. All the anger that Reid felt towards Morgan disappeared as he saw Morgan race towards him with a gun in his hands. Morgan walked over to Jacob's body and turned it over with his foot. Morgan let out a small shaky breath and seemed satisfied that Jacob was dead.

Reid grabbed onto Morgan the moment that Morgan kneeled beside Reid. Morgan put his arms around Reid and held him. Morgan knew that Reid was in shock and still scared, he could feel him shaking.

"I-Is he dead?" Reid cried.

"He is dead, he's gone. He can't hurt you anymore. It's okay, shhh!" Morgan said as he tried to calm Reid down.

"T-Thank you, h-he was g-gonna hurt me again. Y-you saved me. Th-thank you," Reid thanked profusely as Morgan held him.

"He can't ever hurt you again."

Reid smiled through the tears that ran down his face as he realised that no-one could hurt him again. Jacob Harris was dead, he would never feel that man hurt him again. He was finally safe. He would never be used again.

**The bastard is dead! **

**Yes I decided to take the guy out and gave the honour to Morgan. I am bringing back the friendship between Reid and the team although some friendships will take longer than others to establish again. Morgan and Reid are going to back though for Namira and the fact I like writing them. **

**LaRieNGuBler- He is going to get support from the team, form his family so I hope that is okay for you. **

**Please review**


	34. Chapter 34

**Hey everyone, okay so here is the next chapter for you all. I swear though there is a Reid loving ghost angry at me for hurting Reid in my fanfics. I get the swelling in my eyes down and then I had a glass door smacked into my face today. **

**You are all freaking awesome! Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter, I am so happy that you liked Morgan saving Reid. I just want to say a big thank you to everyone. Thank you x infinite. **

**Okay so the next few chapters are going to be dealing with everything that has happened with the team, each member of the team is going to talk with Reid. **

**Enjoy this chapter and please review - I am so nervous about this chapter. Feel free to throw in anything that you want put into the next few chapters.**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat on the sofa in the living room of the cabin, he was still shaking. The hot chocolate in his hands shaking along with him. He was leaning into Garcia, she ran her hand through his hair to soothe him. Morgan was guiding the police and forensic technicians out the cabin. Gideon had been taken to hospital to be checked out. Reid still couldn't believe what had happened. He was happy that Jacob Harris was dead, he finally felt safe for the first time in months. Garcia put her free hand on Reid's mug to stop it from shaking.

"Everything is okay. You are safe," Garcia tried to assure Reid. Reid looked up into her eyes and took a shaky deep breath, he knew he was still in shock.

"I can't s-stop shaking, h-he is g-gone and I am happy a-about that but I can s-still feel him on my back a-and I-I can still h-hear him pulling down his zip. It scares me that h-he found m-me and c-came so close t-to hurting me again," Reid said quietly.

"You are safe now and that is all that matters. I'm so sorry that he came that close to hurting you. We are going to get you through this. We are all going to make sure that you have support. We are going to help you back to a point in your life where you are happy," Garcia smiled at Reid, her hand gently stroking through his hair.

"D-did you call the t-team?" Reid asked.

"They are on their way here. Are you sure you want to see them?" Garcia said.

"Y-Yeah, I need to talk with them. W-When J-Jacob was at-attacking me, I had so m-many thoughts running t-through my head. I re-realised that I-I was all alone. I know that t-the team has t-tried to protect me and it was at t-that moment I realised that t-the team would have been with m-me trying to protect me when J-Jacob attacked me if I had not p-pushed them away. I'm still a-angry a-about a few things b-but I can't keep this all b-buried inside me. I can't carry around t-this w-weight on my own. I need to make the team understand, I-I need to make m-my family understand that I was j-just angry and hurt. I-I need my f-family back, I'm s-struggling without t-them," Reid admitted, his voice full of pain and on the edge of being upset.

Garcia quickly felt her heart hurt with a mix of emotions. It was so nice to hear Reid refer to the team as his family again, she had waited so long for him to say that.

"Everything is going to be okay from now on," she smiled at him before hugging him closer to him. "We are all going to stay here and work everything out. I know that you are still angry but you need to let that anger out. Once the anger is gone it will be replaced with happiness and comfort. The team, your family is going to be here for you. We are all going to speak and work everything out."

"What if they g-get an-angry with me? I n-need to get some painful things o-off of my ch-chest and my mind. W-What if they get a-angry with me?" Reid said, an edge of fear in his voice.

"Reid, they will listen to you. The entire team will listen to what you have to say. They know that you need to talk and they want to be the people that you talk to. Besides if any one of them gets too loud and angry they will have your fairy godmother to deal with," Garcia smiled.

**An hour later**

Reid was happy that the technicians and police officers had left the cabin. He felt sad though at the fact he wouldn't be able to sit at the lake without thinking of Jacob Harris pinning him to the ground. Reid wanted to smoke a cigarette but he was resisting the temptation. He also knew that he couldn't chew anymore of the niccotine gum, he hated the way that it tasted. Reid was laying down on the sofa with his head comfortably snuggled into a pillow. He loved how warm the blanket that covered him made him. Reid heard an array of footsteps come up to the cabin door followed by three knocks.

Reid lifted himself up from the sofa so that he was sat against the arm. Reid watched as the team walked in, he quickly looked away when Rossi and Hotch looked over to him. Reid was just scared of how the team would react. He hadn't spoken with them for a while properly, he was just scared to finally release everything from his heart.

Emily and JJ walked around the sofa so that they were facing Reid. Reid took a deep breath and looked up into their eyes, he noticed the look in their eyes. He noticed that they were full with a mix of joy and worry.

"Hey Reid," JJ smiled gently.

"It's good to see you Reid," Emily said.

Reid decided then that he needed to start repairing the connections within his family. He pulled away the blanket and stood up. He walked over to JJ and gently wrapped his arms around her. Reid instantly felt her arms wrap around him.

"I missed you JJ," Reid said gently. His mind whisked back to the moment after he had killed Tobias Hankel, he remembered hugging JJ so tightly that he never wanted to let her go. He withdrew from the hug to see JJ on the edge of crying. He was worried for a moment that he had upset her somehow but his worries were silenced when she let out a small smile. Reid let go of JJ and walked over to Emily.

"I missed you too Emily," Reid smiled gently before he hugged her as well. Emily stood in shock for a moment before she reciprocated the hug. Thet hugged for a few seconds before Emily pulled away and looked at Reid. There was still some dark bruising around his left eye but the swelling was gone.

Reid turned from Emily when he saw Rossi, Hotch, Morgan ang Garcia come into the room. Reid took a few steps back and sat down on the sofa again.

"C-Can you all sit d-down?" Reid asked nervously. The team immediately obliged and pulled chairs in and sat down in front of Reid.

"How are you doing?" Rossi said.

"I'm still a-a little s-shaken up by J-Jacob attacking me. I need t-to talk to you all, I've been s-scared of e-everything around me since I was first a-attacked b-by Jay Henson all t-that time ago. I h-have always thought of you a-all as my family. S-Since the mental h-hospital it has b-been hard to t-think of you as my family. I f-felt like everyone h-had given up on me, I felt l-like you had all abandoned me. I thought the a-answer to keeping m-myself safe was b-being on m-my own but w-when Jacob Harris-" Reid stopped talking to take deep breath as he tried to push through the memories and reach back to his calm.

"W-When Jacob Harris r-raped me in my a-apartment I was s-so scared. I could h-hear you all calling m-my name down t-the phone. I w-wanted nothing more t-than for you all to bu-burst into my apartment and save me. S-Something inside of me f-fractured that d-day, I couldn't make s-sense of why b-bad things kept happening to me. Part of m-me didn't want you all t-to see me as I-I felt like I-I was nothing but a tool f-for some monster t-to get off and a-another part of me was angry for you n-not being there to p-protect me."

"Reid we-" Hotch began to say before Reid put his hand up to stop him talking.

"L-Let me finish," Reid said. Hotch stopped talking and let Reid continue.

"I r-realised then w-when Jacob was h-hurting me, I realised then t-that I-I could have died at the h-hands of him, h-he could have k-killed me and I-I would have di-died full of anger. It's taken t-time for m-me to figure out e-everything, it has taken time f-for m-me to finally b-be ready t-talk. When J-Jacob pinned me down b-by the lake I-I was so scared, it was wh-when Morgan killed h-him that I realised I-I need m-my family to p-protect me. I-I don't b-blame you for not p-protecting me when Jacob s-surprised me in my a-apartment. I n-need my family back, I need my f-family b-back to p-protect me," Reid cried gently, he gasped slightly before his breathing settled.

It was then he felt an incredible weight lift from his shoulders. He felt like he could finally breathe properly. Reid  
watched as Rossi got off his chair and sat down next to him.

"Come here son," Rossi smiled before he pulled Reid into a hug. Reid hugged Rossi tightly before he finally let the wall inside of him crumble, he cried gently as he felt Rossi hug him.

**Enjoy and please review**

**Also due to the fact that images can now be put with the stories, I am doing covers for each story in my trilogy.**

**Please review**


	35. Chapter 35

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. I am so nervous about this chapter.**

**Firstly I want to say a big thank you for the reviews, I am so happy that people like the team and Reid coming back together. I didn't expect some of the reactions, I didn't think that my writing would provoke emotions like that. Thank you so much for reviewing. You are all amazing and I want to say a big thank you for staying with this. Writing is one of things that keeps me grounded and calm and just knowing I have reviewers out there and readers makes me so happy. **

**Hope this chapter will be okay for you Namira, I decided to do Morgan and Reid's conversation first. Enjoy. And yes I am designing pictures for each story in the trilogy.**

**Okay so small warning, Reid's attacks are mentioned but nothing graphic.**

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistake are my own.**

Reid stopped crying and withdrew from Rossi's hug, he didn't know why he had started crying. He wasn't upset but his entire body felt lighter and his mind had finally come to peace when Rossi had pulled him into a hug. Reid wiped the tears from his cheeks, his winced slightly as he pressed slightly too hard on his cheek. He knew he had bruised it when Jacob had tackled him to the floor.

"Are you okay?" JJ asked as she looked saw Reid wince.

"I-I'm o-okay, I hit my face on t-the ground when I was tackled b-by the lake," Reid said. He was confused when JJ got up from her seat and walk into kitchen, he heard her rummage for a few seconds. Reid jumped suddenly when he felt something cold pressed against his cheek. Reid took the ice pack from her hands and gave her a small smile to say thank you. Reid had to admit that the soothing cold on his cheeks was helping him.

"Reid, we want you to understand that you will always have us here. We are your family, we always will be. We want to be here for you not only to protect you but to love you. We will always try to protect you. When we recieved Jacob's call when he had you in your apartment it was the worst moment of our lives. We felt so helpless when we...well when we heard your muffled screams. We are so sorry that we were not there to protect you, we should have been there to stop Jacob Harris from doing that to you. You may not blame us but we blame ourselves for not being there. I want you to know that your family is here and we are not letting you ever get hurt again. Reid, you never lost your family and you never will," Rossi said softly to Reid.

Reid let out a small smile before brushing hair back out of his eyes.

"I acted li-like such a horrible p-person on the case b-before my attack. How can you n-not hate m-me for being like t-that?" Reid almost whispered.

"Reid, we could never hate you. After everything you had been through it was normal to feel like that. You were dealing with a lot of issues and we know that you still are. Reid we could never hate you. You were angry and back then you carried a world of pain on your shoulders. We are here now to take that pain from you, we want to help lift that world of pain from your shoulders," Morgan said suddenly.

Reid decided then that he needed to speak with Morgan, he decided that he needed to speak with Morgan about everything that had happened before his attack.

"Is it okay if I-I talk to M-Morgan alone? I want to t-talk to all o-of you one t-to one. Is it o-kay if I-I talk to Morgan alone first?" Reid asked nervously.

"That's fine Reid. We'll leave you two alone to talk," Rossi said before giving Reid a pat on the shoulder as he stood up.

"A-Actually is it okay i-if we go for a w-walk, I need some f-fresh air."

Morgan stood up from his seat and walked over next to Reid. Reid stood up and gave Morgan a nervous smile, Reid knew that the issues between them had to be settled. The way that their friendship had been left in was not good. Reid wobbled slightly causing Morgan and Rossi to jump forward and steady him.

"You sure you want to go out for a walk?" Morgan asked, he was concerned that Reid wasn't up for a long walk.

"Y-Yeah I-I'm sure, just had a li-little head r-rush."

Reid and Morgan started to walk towards the front door. Rossi stepped forward though and caught Morgan while Reid had stepped outside the cabin.

"Morgan, keep an eye on him. He looks fragile at the moment. Just come straight back if he starts having trouble," Rossi practically ordered Morgan.

"I'll bring him back if anything happens."

**A few minutes later**

Reid and Morgan had been walking down a small path for a few moments. Reid didn't know how to start the talk. He was about to speak when Morgan spoke up first.

"Reid, I'm so sorry for hitting you the way I did. I didn't mean to lose control like that. I'm really sorry about holding you by your throat. I'm sorry if I scared you and hurt you," Morgan apologised, his voice full of guilt and contained a hint of need. Morgan knew that he needed Reid to forgive him.

"I'm t-the one who should b-be sorry. I shouldn't h-have brought up y-your past like I-I did. I-I Know that you don't l-like talking about it. I-I was j-just so angry with everyone and I-I was having a h-hard time accepting w-what J-Jacob did to me back in t-the mental hospital. I-I don't blame for you g-getting angry. I d-deserved that punch," Reid said in a small voice.

Morgan stopped dead in his tracks, Reid stopped as well and gave Morgan a look of confusion.

"Reid, you never deserve to be hit. I'm the one who should be sorry, I should have controlled my anger better. Why the hell would you think that you serve to be hit?"

Reid brushed his hand through his hair and bit his lower lip nervously.

"I d-don't know. P-People get angry with me because I do something t-they don't l-like and they h-hit me. I-I don't know why I th-think I deserve to b-be hit. I think t-that it could be b-because when I started c-crying w-when Jacob first assaulted me, he hit me and screamed at m-me t-to shut up. He-He didn't like it when I cr-cried, none of them did. Jay hurt me when I did something bad, he hit me and hurt me. I made them angry a-and that i-is when they hit me. I-I don't like i-it," Reid began to say before he started to cry gently.

Morgan rushed forward and enveloped him into a hug.

"You don't ever deserve to be hit. I should have never hit you, I am so sorry. Reid, I don't know if it will help but you can talk to me. I understand how you feel, you can talk to me. I know that you didn't tell us everything" Morgan said as he tried to soothe Reid. Reid leaned away from the hug and gave a small nod.

"When h-he first hurt me I was so s-scared. It h-hurt so much, he p-prepared me like I w-was something to be used. H-He hit me when I begged him to stop, when I-I b-begged him to l-leave me alone. He covered my mouth and said that I-I was going t-to enjoy w-what he was going to do. He wouldn't stop when h-he started," Reid caught his breath before continuing, tears ran heavily down his face.

"I-I screamed and I-I screamed but no-one would come and help me. No-one could hear me. He j-just kept going, I-I wanted to die. I felt like f-filth when he finished. I w-was crying but I f-felt so numb, I felt l-like a shell. H-He dressed me and pulled me t-to my f-feet. H-He dragged me b-back to my room. He pushed m-me up against the wall and held me by my t-throat, he said it was our l-little secret and i-if I told he would hurt m-me till I wanted to die. He kissed me, I-I didn't like it. After he left my room I-I hid under m-my bed with my pillow a-and cried, I just couldn't c-cope. I-I told you and t-thats why he came a-after me again."

Morgan could help the tears that were at the edge of his eyes. He knew he couldn't let them fall, he had to be strong for Reid. It was hard to stay so calm when Reid, the man he saw as his little brother, was telling him about the worst moments in his life. It was hard to stay calm when Reid was pouring his heart out. Reid continued to talk as he cried.

"J-Jacob surprised me i-in my apartment the second time, he put his h-hand over my mouth and held a k-knife to my throat. He called me c-crazy, he a-always called me crazy. He knocked me out and w-when I came to on the bed h-he had tied me up. I t-tried to scream but he g-gagged me. He was so angry w-with me, h-he dialled you and then c-climbed on top of m-me. I cried, I-I didn't w-want him o-on me, I didn't w-want to go th-through that again. He p-put a knife t-to my th-throat and told me t-to be quiet. H-He taunted you all and then he unbuckled my belt. He-he-he," Reid tried to continue but he started hyperventilate.

Reid's knees buckled and Morgan fell with him as Reid sat on the ground. Morgan continued to hold Reid and rubbed his hand in circles on Reid's back to try and calm Reid down.

"H-He hurt me s-so much, I w-wanted to die w-when he was...when he was attacking me. I-I was so scared. He wouldn't s-stop and I-I could feel t-the blood. He k-kept beating me. M-Morgan, why did h-he hurt me? I-I thought telling you w-what he did to me w-was the right t-thing b-but he hurt me for it. I sh-shouldn't have told," Reid sobbed harder.

Morgan couldn't stop the tears.

"Reid, you did nothing wrong. H-He was a monster and he hurt you. I am so sorry, I'm so so sorry. I'm sorry that we didn't protect you. You are safe now, he is dead and he can never hurt you again."

"H-He does though, h-he c-can still hurt me in m-my nightmares," Reid said, his voice almost child like. Morgan hated that Jacob was in Reid's nightmares. Reid deserved peace in his sleep, he didn't deserve to be thrown into a whirlwind of brutal memories and images of blood while he slept.

Morgan and Reid sat on the dirt path. Morgan held Reid's crying body and tried to soothe him.

**Please review**


	36. Chapter 36

**Hey everyone, firstly I apologise for not updating sooner. I have just been busy at work and have been a bit down for the last day or so. Again I am really sorry.**

**Thank you all so much for the reviews, you are all amazing.**

**The next few chapters after this will be the ones where Reid talks one to one with each member of the team.**

**Enjoy and please review.**

**All mistakes are my own**

Morgan help Reid till he felt Reid slump against his chest, his small sobs disappearing into silence. Morgan looked down and lifted Reid's head with his hand and saw that Reid had fallen asleep. Morgan could see that he was exhausted, Morgan knew that Reid's nightmares were having a severe toll on the young genius's body. It was clear that Reid was tired by the dark circles under his eyes.

Morgan rose up from the ground, he put his arm under Reid's knees and another one under Reid's back. Morgan hoisted Reid from the ground, he was shocked at how light Reid was. Carrying Reid barely made a dent in his strength. Morgan made his way back to the cabin with Reid fast asleep in his arms.

Morgan was struggling to keep himself calm after what Reid had told him. Reid had just poured out every horrific detail of what Jacob Harris had done to him. He hated that they had not been there to save Reid from such pain, he hated that Reid had struggled with it all alone. Morgan also hated himself for hurting Reid in a way that Jacob Harris had done. Jacob had held Reid back in the mental hospital by his throat. Morgan had done the same thing, he had grabbed Reid by the throat all that time ago when Reid had brought up the childhood trauma he had tried so hard to forget. He hated to think about what memories had haunted Reid when he had done that.

_'I'm so sorry Reid'_ Morgan thought as he neared the cabin.

Morgan walked up the steps to the cabin door, he didn't need to even knock as Garcia almost ripped the door open.

"Is he okay?" Garcia worried as she rushed forward and looked at Reid in Morgan's arms. Garcia looked up into Morgan's eyes and knew that he had been crying.

"He's fine, I'll explain everything in a minute but I need to put him to bed. He is exhausted, he just passed in my arms," Morgan said to Garcia as he walked into the cabin. Morgan heard a worried words as he walked in with Reid but he ignored them, he walked into Reid's room with Garcia behind him. Garcia quickly fluffed up the pillows before pulling the blankets and covers down. Morgan put Reid down on the bed and took off his shoes. Garcia covered Reid over with covers and blankets, she brushed her hand through his hair before she leaned down and gave him a kiss on the forehead.

"Sleep tight sweetheart," Garcia whispered to Reid.

Morgan and Garcia came out of the room to see the team sat down with worried looks on all their faces.

"How is he?" Hotch asked. Morgan sat down on the sofa with Garcia, he let out a long deep sigh as he leaned into the back cushions.

"He is struggling but he finally told me about everything that Jacob Harris had done to him. Hotch, he was so scared when Jacob Harris was raping him. He couldn't stop crying when he was telling me everything. Hotch, he is going to need a lot of support," Morgan said sadly.

"What did he tell you?" Rossi asked.

"He told me about what that bastard did to him. Reid begged and screamed for him to stop and he just kept...he just kept hurting Reid," Morgan said with a hint of anger in his voice. "Reid told me after Jacob had attacked him at the mental hospital he took him back to his room. He held him by the throat and told Reid it was their little secret and that if he said anything, he would hurt Reid again, he forced Reid to kiss him. Hotch, he attacked Reid again in his apartment again because he told is what happened. He beat Reid because we went and got him."

Everyone in the team sat there for a few moments as they processed what Morgan had said. They all tried to push back the image in their minds of Reid being attacked, it hurt them to think of Reid screaming. It brought back memories that they had tried so hard to keep locked away.

"Do you think he can get past this?" JJ asked, her eyes edged with tears.

"I honestly don't know," Morgan admitted. He hated saying it but he didn't know if Reid could ever fully recover from everything that had happened to him. He was surprised at Garcia's next words.

"He is strong and he will get through this. Reid just needs his family for support."

Morgan knew than why Reid always trusted Garcia, why they both trusted Garcia. She gave you hope and light when times seemed dark.

**Four hours later**

Reid opened his eyes and felt fear engulf him when he saw Jacob's face above. Reid panicked as he realised that Jacob had straddled his hips.

"You are dead, you can't be real," Reid gasped.

"I'm real, I'm as real as all the other monsters in your head. I should have killed the first time I had you. Guess I will have to just kill you know crazy," Jacob laughed before his hands quickly wrapped around Reid's throat. Reid gasped and struggled as the hands squeezed, his legs kicking as he tried to struggle.

"Reid!" Garcia's voice echoed. Reid felt darkness engulf his vision as the team's voice began to get louder.

Reid gasped for air as he jolted up from his bed. He felt two hands gripped his face, he yelped before he looked up and saw Garcia's eyes. He began to slow down his breathing as he focused on Garcia. Reid looked to the front of his bed and noticed that the team were all standing there with worry burning fiercly in their eyes. Reid was confused, Jacob had been strangling him a few seconds ago.

"Reid, are you okay?" Garcia asked as she brushed Reid's hair out his eyes. She could that he was extremely scared. Garcia had been so scared when she heard Reid screaming and gasping for air in his bed, he had still been asleep when the team had rushed in to try and wake him up.

"Jacob w-was s-strangling me, he said he w-was r-real," Reid said in a small voice.

Garcia brought Reid into a hug and rocked him slightly.

"Shhh...he is dead and he is never coming back. You are safe now. You are going to be okay," Garcia soothed as Reid held her tighter. Reid looked straight ahead as put his chin on Garcia's shoulder, he knew he had to admit what was feeling at that point.

"I don't think I'll ever be okay again."

**Please review**


	37. Chapter 37

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for you lovely amazing readers. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they were all great and amazing just like you all are.**

**This chapter features Rossi and Reid talking. I hope I have done this okay, I personally feel that my writing is a tad dodgy in this chapter. **

**Also I would like to know if all you think the rating for this story is appropriate for the content inside it all. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own - I also don't own Criminal Minds, CBS does. Lucky gits!**

Reid was sat on the sofa with his feet curled to his side, Garcia had covered him with a blanket and had made him another cup of hot chocolate. Reid really wanted a cigarette after the nightmare he had had but he fought against the urge to light one up due to the fact that Garcia was there with him. He didn't want to smoke in front of her, he knew he had been doing well not having one before Jacob had attacked him. Reid knew he was going to be breaking his promise to Garcia but he wasn't technically breaking a promise if she didn't find out. He was only having one more cigarette to calm his nerves. His next cigarette would certainly be his last. He had found a spare lighter and two cigarettes in an old packet in his bag a few days ago. He had almost smoke them then, he was glad he had kept them in some ways. He had stashed them in pocket before he had gone into the living room of the cabin.

Gum was not going to help him this time.

"Are you feeling better?" Garcia asked as she sat beside Reid, the rest of the team were around him with hot drinks in their hands. Reid nodded and took another sip of his hot chocolate, he smiled slightly as he felt the hot sensation of the drink as it made its way down his throat. Reid loved Garcia's hot chocolate. It was the best he had ever tasted.

Reid decided then that he needed to start talking to everyone individually. Reid put down his hot drink and pulled the blanket off himself. Garcia was at his side in a instant as he stood up, he swayed slightly but stopped a few seconds later.

"Reid, you shouldn't be up," Garcia said as she tried to get Reid back onto the sofa. Reid put his hand on his shoulder and gave her a small smile.

"I-I'm okay, I need to speak w-with Rossi alone, I hope that is o-okay with everyone," Reid said as he looked at Rossi.

"That's fine Reid, we'll leave you alone," JJ said gently.

"No, I w-want to go for a walk. I'll be f-fine I promise and I'll take it s-slow," Reid said quickly. Rossi stood up and followed Reid out of the cabin. Rossi watched Reid carefully, Rossi noticed that one of Reid's legs was weaker than the other.

They walked out of view from cabin. Reid stopped causing Rossi to give him a strange look.

"Reid, why are you stopping?"

Reid pulled out the two cigarettes and lighter from his pocket. He turned around so Rossi could see what he was holding.

"I haven't had one in d-days, these are my last two, I-I promise G-Garcy I-I would stop. I just need one to calm m-my nerves," Reid said as he twirled one of the cigarettes in his fingers.

"Promise me, promise the team that this will be your last smoke. At least let me smoke the other one, I'm not about to watch you smoke two," Rossi said as he walked forward and took one of the cigarettes from Reid's hands.

"I thought y-you only smoked c-cigars."

"Yes but smoking this takes away anymore temptation for you to smoke again. Now give me the lighter, your hands are shaking so much I don't think you'll actually hit the end of the cigarette," Rossi said as took the lighter from Reid's hands. Rossi put the cigarette in his mouth and lit it before he lit Reid's cigarette. They both stood smoking for a few minutes before they began to talk.

"I-I'm really sorry Rossi. I-I acted like a horrible person back on t-the plane before m-my attack and I-I'm sorry that I-I kicked you out of m-my room at the hospital," Reid apologised before throwing his cigarette to the ground and rubbing it out with his foot. Rossi also threw his cigarette to the ground and rubbed it out, he looked at Reid and gave a small smile.

"Reid, you don't have to keep apologising to us all, you have nothing to be sorry for. The team is the one who should be sorry. I'm sorry. The team should have been there for you, I should have been there for you. Reid, you have been through such an ordeal, an ordeal that none of us can understand. You have been through things that none of us would have been able to handle or even survive. Reid, I am so sorry for what has happened to you," Rossi said.

"C-can I b-be honest with you? Sometimes I w-wish that I had died back when J-Jay kicked the chair from un-underneath me. I wish that I had not survived," Reid sighed before he ran his hand through his hair.

Rossi was shocked at Reid's words.

"Reid, why would you say that?" Rossi asked, he couldn't restrain the shock as it ran through his voice. Reid let out a small little laugh before he answered.

"I wouldn't be like t-this, I-I wouldn't be this broken, weak man who c-can't even defend himself. I don't f-feel like a person anymore, I-I feel used and filthy. Jacob hurt m-me in ways you can't imagine. H-He is in my dreams and everytime I think of my home a-all I remember i-is him grabbing me and holding a k-knife to my throat while he...basically fucked me like I was o-only there to get him off. I-I can't speak properly, I-I forget things sometimes. T-The other day I-I forgot how to make a c-cup of tea, it t-took me time to remember. Jay and the others have scarred m-me for l-life, Jay cut m-my finger off. E-Everytime I look do-down at my hand all I think is what if. What if I had got away from J-Jay Henson when he f-first attacked me in my car. I should have fought back better, if I had I-I wouldn't be like this," Reid said angrily before he walked over to a small fallen log and sat down.

Rossi stood frozen for a few moments before he came to his sense and walked forward till he reached the log. He sat down on it and put an arm around Reid.

"Reid, you are the same person today as you were when I first met you. You still have the amazing strength that only you possess and a strength I envy. I wish I had your strength to get past everything and to fight when most people would give up hope. You are a person, you are an incredible person who is unique, I don't want you to ever feel the way you feel, you are not used or filthy. The first time I saw you, you made me laugh a little because of how you were dressed. You were dressed in some Halloween gear trying to bring the Halloween spirit to the rest of the team. You had this part inside you that always looked to the better things in life, to the things in life that made you happy. You still have that part inside you and I know it is small right now but I want you to keep remembering that part of yourself," Rossi explained before taking a deep breath and continuing.

"I know that memories of what Jay and the others did you still haunt you. I don't want you to think about what might have happened if you had escaped Jay when he first attacked you. You will drive yourself mad thinking about that. Reid, your body may have changed on the outside with the scars and your finger but inside you has not changed. You will always be Spencer Reid who is strong and can overcome great ordeals. I want you to always remember that you have a family. I want you to know that I am proud of you and even though I'm not your father, I would be proud to call you my son."

Reid cried gently before he used his sleeves to wipe the tears from his face. Rossi looked up and saw Reid was smiling gently.

"Rossi, y-you would have made a g-great dad. T-Thank you," Reid said before he gave Rossi a small hug. Rossi returnd the hug.

Rossi meant every word. Reid never have a proper father and his son had died before he had had a chance to live. Rossi thought of Reid as a son and he would do what he could to be a father figure to Reid.

**Please review and what character would you like to see next talk with Reid?**


	38. Chapter 38

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter. Sorry for the delay, I actually fell asleep while writing this chapter yesterday so when I woke up it was a bit late. Sorry again, I was just completely knackered yesterday. **

**Thank you to everyone for the reviews, they are all amazing. I decided to do Hotch as I will be honest concerning this, I had a bit of writer's block writing Prentiss so I'm going to watch a few Prentiss centred episode so I can understand her character again. **

**Namira, this will not turn into slash, I don't write it and I don't read it. Gideon is at the hospital and I will be confronting the issue of where Reid will be staying as he won't be returning to his apartment. (See below). I would love to write a sequel to this but I'm not sure. I've considered having Reid's recovery as a separate fanfic. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own **

Hotch watched from the sofa as Reid and Rossi walked back through the cabin door, Reid was smiling slightly as was Reid. Hotch knew that they must have had one hell of a conversation. Hotch watched as Rossi gave a small nod to Reid before walking into the kitchen.

Reid took a deep breath and turned to meet Hotch's gaze. Reid walked over to Hotch and sat down as far way from Hotch as he could. Reid hesistated for a few moments before he decided he needed to conquer the part of himself that was afraid to speak to the man he had once trusted with his life.

"C-Can I talk to you?" Reid said, his voice small and timid. Hotch turned to face Reid.

"Of course you can," Hotch said.

"I want t-to speak to you b-because I know t-that is going to be the hardest talk I am going to h-have. You have to u-understand that I have a h-hard time being around you b-because of the fact that you knew what was happening to me in that place and you d-didn't stop it, y-you knew that t-things weren't right and y-yet you did nothing t-to come and get me," Reid said as he tried to control the small element of anger inside of him as it began to grow.

"Reid, I couldn't get you out of that place. We had no proper evidence to show that you were being hurt inside the hospital, I tried appealing against your placement into the mental hospital but because of the trauma you had received before and your suicide attempt they rejected the appeal. Reid you have no idea how much I wanted to come into that place and get you out," Hotch explained, his voice almost pleading with Reid to forgive him.

"Y-You should have t-tried harder, I gave you c-control of my medical decisions b-because I thought I-I could trust you. You have no idea how hard it was to be in that place, h-how much like hell it felt like. I d-didn't stop running f-from that place. I-I have to live with the memories of that pl-place. I know t-that you are so-sorry but I n-need you to u-understand that it is g-going to take t-time for me to get past all of t-this."

Hotch knew that Reid was right, he knew that he should have tried harder to support Reid after Reid had tried to commit suicide. He knew that he should have fought teeth and claw to get Reid out of that place. Hotch knew he should have tried to prevent the doctor from even putting Reid into the mental hospital.

"Reid, I want you to know that I will be here for you and give you whatever you need as you recover. I'm so sorry about even letting them put you in that place. Reid, you can talk to me about that place when the memories become too much to bear on your own. I know that you have been through torture and horrors that I can't even begin to understand. Reid, watching you being tortured by Jay Henson was horrible. Reid, you are important to me and the team, to your family. You are like a son to me Reid, I want you to know that you are never alone and you never will be. I don't ever want you to try to hide away the pain from the team. When you shouted at me on that bench after I found you smoking it made me see that you were hiding away how you truly felt about everything that had happened to you. Reid, as a friend and as your boss, I am telling you to never keep the pain inside. You let it out," Hotch said.

Reid bottom lip was quivering slightly. Hotch looked up and saw that Reid was crying gently.

"Reid? Are you okay? I didn't mean to upset you," Hotch said as he put his hand on Reid's shoulder.

"I-I'm okay, I'm just trying to process a f-few things," Reid said before he turned to face Hotch. "I was hiding away w-when I-I came back t-to work. I w-was still having n-nightmares and I w-was struggling with what Jacob h-had done to me. I-I was struggling w-with the fact that you a-all knew what had been done to me. I was s-still angry and I-I know that I shouldn't h-have hid how I-I was really feeling. Hotch, I d-don't know if I-I can get through this, I d-don't know if I can return to the BAU and n-not be affected by w-what I see. I can't look at t-the crime scene p-photos and simply accept t-them. I k-know how t-they felt when t-they were being h-hurt, I know how they f-felt just before they d-died. I know how i-it feels to die, I keep wondering w-why I just didn't s-stay dead. Why d-do I keep on surviving when a-all that follows is pain," Reid sniffed before his let more tears run down his face as the emotional barrier inside of him broke down.

Reid felt the barrier inside him continue to crumble. It crumbled down a little every time he spoke with one of the team.

Hotch put his arm around Reid and comforted Reid as he cried.

"Reid, you keep surviving because you are strong and because you know that the team is here. You keep surviving so you can stay with your family. Reid, you will always have a place at the BAU, you can take as much time as you need before you return to work, if you decide to return to work. Reid, you are still the same man to us. What Jacob did to you doesn't make you any less of a man?," Hotch said as he tried to calm him down.

"But..but..Jacob s-said I was crazy and h-he u-used me to g-get himself off. I-I'm nothing n-now, I c-can't work. I c-can't even stop m-myself crying. I'm n-not Spencer Reid anymore, I'm just w-what he called me. I'm crazy," Reid said before he started to hyperventilate slightly.

Hotch noticed the far off look that came across Reid's eyes. Hotch had seen the look before, he knew that Reid was having a flashback and he knew that he needed to stop Reid going back to the place.

Reid began to whimper and cry harder as he closed his eyes and remembered. Hotch was shouting for Reid to snap out of it but he was having no effect.

"Morgan! I need some help!" Hotch shouted, he knew that Morgan was the only one that really knew what Reid was going through and he knew that Morgan was maybe the only that could snap Reid out of his flashback. Morgan ran into the room and was at Reid's side immediately.

"What happened?" Morgan asked Hotch quickly.

"We were talking and then he said that he wasn't him anymore, he was just crazy. I think he is having a flashback," Hotch responded. The rest of the team stood at the doorframe as Hotch pointed at them to stay where they were.

"Dammit!" Morgan growled slightly. Reid began to scream causing both men to become alarmed.

"I-I'm sorry I-I told! P-Please no!" Reid screamed and cried.

"Reid, it's Morgan. You aren't back th-there. Snap out of it okay. Listen to my voice, he can't hurt you anymore. Reid, listen to my voice," Morgan calmly ordered Reid.

Reid breathing started to level out slightly, his entire body was shaking as he looked up to Morgan. Morgan put his hand on Reid's shoulder causing Reid to jump slightly at the touch.

"Reid, take a deep breath. Are you okay?" Morgan asked.

Reid brought his hands up to his hair and grabbed a fistful of hair in each hand.

"Get out of m-my head. I d-don't want t-to remember!" Reid said before he started to hit his head. Morgan grabbed Reid's wrists and held them.

"Reid, it's okay. H-he can't hurt you anymore," Morgan tried to reassure Reid.

"I don't want t-to be like t-this anymore. I w-want to me again," Reid said leaned against Morgan. Morgan put his arms around Reid and rocked him gently.

It was then that Hotch realised that Reid was in more pain than he realised.

**Please review**

**I wanted to ask you all two questions - **

**1. Who would you rather Reid stay with? I'm torn between Rossi and Morgan. **

**2. Would you like Reid's main recovery to be a separate fanfic? It would turn my trilogy into four fanfics. **

**Love some feedback. Please review**


	39. Chapter 39

**Hey everyone, here is the next chapter for all of you. **

**First of all. THANK YOU! For all of the reviews, I never expected so many reviews for the last chapter, I am so happy that you liked it. You are all amazing awesome reviewers and readers.**

**Thank you for the feedback. I have decided and due to so many of you wanting it that Reid will stay with Rossi but I want to assure people (I'm talking to you Namira) that there will be a lot of Reid and Morgan brotherly moments. **

**I will also have Reid's recovery as a separate fanfic. I will be a follow on to this one. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

Reid sat on the sofa with a blanket wrapped around him, the team had left him alone for a few moments at his request. The team looked at Reid with great concern, none of them like how Reid just sat staring into space. They knew that he was going through memories which he remembered with precise detail, the team knew that it wasn't healthy for Reid to go back to those horrible moments. They had seen how he had reacted when he had had a flashback, it wasn't healthy for Reid to get into such a panicked state.

"I don't like how he just stares into space," Garcia said quietly, she didn't want Reid to hear her concerns.

"I think that last flashback did more damage then I thought, we need to talk to him," Morgan said before he took a few steps towards the living room, he stopped though when a hand appeared on his arm and held him back. Morgan looked back and saw Emily was the one who had grabbed his arm.

"Can I talk with him?" Emily asked.

"Are you sure?" Morgan questioned her, he didn't know if Reid or Emily were ready to talk again.

"Reid is my friend, he is one of the best friends that I have ever had. I need to talk with him, I feel responsible for letting him get hurt. I saw that something was wrong him back at the police station before his second attack, when I spoke to him he was angry but I could tell he was scared. I knew he was hiding from his fears and I didn't do anything about it because he was so angry. I need to do this," Emily said, her voice cracking slightly before she pushed back getting upset.

"Emily, go and speak with him," Garcia smiled at Emily before she rushed back and grabbed a cup of hot chocolate. "Give this too him, he needs something sweet."

Emily took the cup of hot chocolate and made her way over to Reid, she sat beside him. She was worried when he just kept staring straight ahead. Emily tentatively put her hand over his hand, she held the hand with the missing finger. Reid jumped slightly before he turned to face her. Reid lifted the hand that Emily was currently holding, he pressed the back of her hand to his face and closed his eyes as he leaned into the hand.

Emily was slightly surprised at what Reid was doing but she could see that it was somehow calming him.

"Hey Emily," Reid said in a small voice.

"Hey Reid, how are you doing?" Emily asked, Reid lowered the hand she was holding to his knee, he kept a tight grasp on her hand.

"I-I'm a little shaky, I-I'm just a little scared of everything r-right now. I f-feel like if I walk o-out of the d-door I'm going to b-be attacked b-by the first that I see. Emily, I don't k-know how to be a p-person anymore," Reid told her gently. Emily felt her heart ache slightly when she heard the hurt in his voice. He sounded so scared.

"Reid, the team isn't going to let anyone else hurt you. I'm not going to let anyone hurt you. Reid, I know that you are scared. You've seen the evil in the world, you've experienced that evil as well but the one thing I want you to remember is that there is good in the world and that good is around you. Do you remember when Ian Doyle was after me and I didn't tell anyone?"

Reid nodded gently and Emily continued to speak.

"I didn't tell anyone because I thought I was protecting them. I realised too late that I wasn't protecting the team, I was the one that needed the team, I needed them to protect me. Reid, never be afraid of the world. You have your friends to help you, protect you and be there for you no matter what. Being scared makes us human, having friends to give us courage is part of the good that comes with being a family. You have a family, one that loves you very much. You are still the strong man I met when I joined the team. You are still Spencer Reid and you are still my best friend," Emily smiled at him as she stroked her thumb over Reid's hand.

"I don't want y-you all sacrificing living your l-lives to protect me. I'm not worth it," Reid said, his voice small again.

"Reid, don't ever say that. You are worth it, we aren't sacrificing our lives to protect you, we are bringing you into them to keep you safe. You are part of every member of this team's life and I never want you to forget that," Emily said.

"Emily, I'm r-really sorry for s-snapping at you at the p-police station. I w-was just trying to keep m-myself from g-getting hurt. I was a-angry, I'm r-really sorry," Reid apologised.

"You have nothing to be sorry for and that is the end of that. Before I forget and before Garcia goes on mother mode on me, she made you this hot chocolate. Drink it up," Emily laughed gently before she handed Reid the hot drink. Reid took it with his free hand, Reid sipped it and let out a little happy moan.

"G-Garcy makes t-the best hot ch-chocolate," Reid said almost in a whisper.

"And the best cookies," Emily chuckled gently.

Reid stopped drinking his hot chocolate, he held it in the air as Emily watched his face change. Emily recognised the face, it was the face Reid had when he was thinking. Reid placed the hot chocolate on the table in front of him and looked at Emily.

"Thanks for talking t-to m-me. Th-Thank you for being m-my Emily," Reid smiled before he leaned forward and gave her a kiss on her cheek.

"Anytime Reid," Emily told him before leaning forward and kissing Reid's forhead.

"Emily, d-do you think G-Garcy has any c-cupcakes?" Reid said. Reid was trying to do everything he could to keep his mind from wandering into the horrors in his mind.

"I think she does, come on genius. Let's go and get some sugar into you."

**Please review**

**I don't think that I did the conversation between Emily and Reid that well. Next chapter up tomorrow**


	40. Chapter 40

**Hey everyone, short author note today. Sorry for short chapter, I've had a jumbled day where I managed to punch myself in the face. **

**Thank you for the reviews, they were great and I am glad you are enjoying the fanfic. Namira, I promise to include loads of Morgan and Reid brotherly moments. I already have scene all set up in my head for a good brotherly moment. **

**Enjoy and please review**

**All mistakes are my own**

JJ and Garcia sat happily across from Reid at the table as he began to devour his third cupcake. Garcia had brough them for her visit along with a selection of goodies, she had wanted to bring them out earlier but Jacob's attack had delayed the cupcakes outing. Reid took a large bite out of the cupcake, he let out a large smile as he began to chew. JJ laughed gently when she saw that Reid had blue icing at the tip of his nose. JJ got of her chair and went over to Reid, she used her thumb to wipe the icing from his nose. Reid realised what JJ had done.

"T-Thanks JJ," Reid said before he put the remainder of his cupcake on the table and started to speak. "JJ, can I-I talk to you?"

JJ pulled out the chair next to Reid and sat next to him.

"Of course you can," JJ said. Garcia began to move but Reid stopped her.

"G-Garcy, c-can you s-stay? I-I don't want you to go anywhere," Reid said, his voice louder than he intended it to be. Garcy gave him a small nod and smile before she settled back down in her chair. Reid turned back to JJ and bit his lower lip nervously.

"JJ, I-I'm really sorry that y-you had to see m-me when after I had b-been attacked by J-Jacob. I didn't want you t-to see me like that. I'm also sorry about s-snapping at you at the police station, you didn't d-deserve that. You've been nice to me and I-I treated you with n-no respect. I'm sorry," Reid said, his voice small and timid.

"Spence, you don't have to be sorry for anything. It did hurt me and make me angry to see you so hurt and scared. I was so angry at Jacob for what he had done to you. I'm sorry that I haven't been there as much as the others, I should have been around for you more. I promise you now that I am going to be around a lot more. Spence, don't apologise for things that are not your fault. When you came back to work you were hiding away from us, you were hiding behind a still healing emotional wall. I knew that you were still scared and angry and when you snapped at me you were under a lot stress from the memories. Spence, you are still my family and you always will be," JJ said before she took his hands and held them.

"T-Thanks. I was afraid that I-I had made you angry b-because I forgot about Henry, I s-still can't remember a lot. I don't deserve to b-be a godfather."

"Spencer Reid, take that back right now," JJ scolded Reid slightly although she kept her voice gentle and motherly.

"I-I don't though. Garcy told me that I-I held h-him a f-few hours after he had been born, I-I don't remember that and I f-feel so guilty for not remembering. I-I should remember my g-godson. W-Whenever I-I try and connect w-with him I'm scared, I'm s-scared he'll see m-my scars or missing f-finger and t-think of me as s-some freak or monster or that I'll freak out having a f-flashback and frighten him. I-I miss seeing Henry but he i-is better staying away from me. T-Trouble finds me and I don't w-want him in harms way."

"Spencer, why didn't you tell me this earlier?" JJ asked as she listened to Reid's concerns.

"I didn't tell you b-because I thought t-that you w-would be angry with me. He's your s-son and I didn't want to u-upset you. I thought y-you would b-be angry at me f-for not wanting to s-spend time him," Reid answered, his voice slightly panicked.

JJ noticed Reid's breathing and stood up from her seat. Reid jumped slightly as JJ put her hand on Reid's back and rubbed her hand in circles on his back.

"Spence, calm your breathing. I'm not angry at you, I could never be angry with you. Take a deep breath," JJ ordered calmly. She watched Reid take a few deep breaths and his whole body stopped shaking slightly. JJ smiled as she watched Reid calm down.

"Spence, Henry knows that his godfather needs time to get better. He t-thinks t-that you j-just tripped a lot. I want you to get better and then when you feel confident enough, we can arrange for you and Henry to have day together. He doesn't see and he won't see a monster when he sees your scars. He could never think of you as a monster, he thinks of you as the smartest man in the world," JJ said.

"Its going to take t-time for m-me to get better. I'm happy t-that you aren't angry at me," Reid told her.

JJ bent down slightly and pulled Reid to her chest where she wrapped her arms around his chest.

"Reid, just remember that your family is here for you. Every one us is here for you," JJ said before she gave the top of his head a kiss.

**Reid - A few hours later**

Reid walked into the bathroom and closed the door. Morgan, Rossi and Garcy were still with him while JJ, Emily and Hotch had left about an hour before. Emily had gone to check on Gideon, she had not seemed to excited about it but Reid had asked her. Hotch and JJ had to get back to Henry and Jack.

Reid needed time to himself, he just needed a few moments to breathe.

Reid looked into the mirror, he stared at his reflection. He stared at the pale and death looking man that stared back at him. Reid fingers traced along his cheek where a bruise had formed, he didn't think that Jacob had tackled him that hard. Reid trailed his fingers under along the dark circles that were under his eyes.

Reid wondered how he become this, he had been sure that he could have handled any situation that life could throw at him, he was wrong though.

He was struggling and he couldn't hide it anymore. He couldn't hide the screaming whenever he had a nightmare, he couldn't ignore the flashbacks. He knew he should have told the team that the flashback he had had in the living room wasn't anywhere near as bad as the two before it.

"When did I become you?" Reid whispered to his reflection.

**Please review**


	41. Chapter 41

**Hey,**

**To all my readers, firstly I hope you enjoy this chapter and please review. Thank you all so much for your reviews. Due to certain things happening over the site I am currently going through all my fanfics and removing all the author notes (this process is taking a lot of time to do). From now on I will just be posting the story and all reviews will be replied to personally with a private message. Please know I love having you all as readers and please keep reviewing. **

**The note above will be taken down in a few days.**

**Enjoy and please review**

Reid sat down on the floor, he scooted back into the walls and pulled his knees into himself. He felt better after talking to the team but the memories were at the front of his mind, he was struggling to stop them from taking over his mind and emotions. Reid let out a small whine as he closed his eyes and his mind let the the haunting memories rush forward.

_"Look who it is!" a voice boomed causing Reid to jump slightly on the bench. Reid turned around and found himself staring at three large and strong guards. Reid got up from the bench and tried to make his way back to his room. Two of the guards stood in front of him and blocked his way._

_"I-I don't w-want any trouble, I-I just want to go b-back to my room," Reid said, his voice small and scared._

_"Trouble," the dark haired guard laughed. "You are the one that has been causing trouble, we are the ones that are going to make sure you learn how to behave. Grab him boys!"_

_Reid barely had time to react before he felt two arms grab him, Reid yelped at the contact and began to struggle fiercly. Reid tried to scream out when he felt a wad of material forcefully shoved into his mouth. Reid continued to struggle as the men dragged him into the garden. Reid lost sight of the hospital doors as they dragged him behind a large group of trees and bushes. Reid grunted with pain as the two men threw him to the ground. Reid tried pull the cloth out of his mouth but the dark haired guard delievered a swift kick into his face._

_Blood started to seep down Reid's chin as the kick had made a small cut. Reid felt dazed as he tried to recover from the kick._

_"You think that you are some big protector, sorry to say but you are nothing more than a little crazy man," the other blond guard laughed before he grabbed a fistful of Reid's hair and pulled Reid backwards. Reid let out a muffled cry of pain as he was dragged. The blond guard slammed Reid into the ground and punched him in the back. Reid laid on the floor panting as the two guards began to beat him._

_The blond guard delivered a swift and brutal backhand into Reid's face causing Reid's head to whip to the side. Reid laid on the ground as his body felt painful and sore at the beating he had recieved, his vision blurred as he watched two of the guards lighting up cigarettes and walking away._

Reid tried to pull himself out of the flashback as he knew who the guard was but his mind wouldn't let him. It was making him see Jacob again. He found himself ripped back into the flashback.

_Reid found himself panicking as he felt a heavy weight rest on his hips, Reid looked up to see a man on top of him. Jacob was on top of him. Reid could tell the man had been drinking heavily, he reeked of alcohol._

_"W-What are you d-doing?" Reid moaned in pain as Jacob grabbed his jaw and looked into his eyes. Reid shook with fear as the man leaned in so much that they their noses were almost touching._

_"You are pretty," Jacob slurred before pressed his lips roughly to Reid's lips. Reid pulled his head away and tried to scream for help. Jacob quickly yanked Reid back to face him and started kissing down Reid's neck as Reid squirmed and struggled._

"NO!" Reid gasped as he pulled himself out of the flashback.

Reid felt his skin crawl, he felt so dirty, he just needed to get clean. Reid quickly crawled into shower with his clothes still on, he turned on the water and gasped slightly at the ice cold water that came out. He tried the hot water but found there wasn't any. He didn't care though, he grabbed a sponge and started to scrub his skin. Reid started to shiver violently as he continued to stay in the shower, a few minutes had passed and a slight blue tinge had appeared on Reid's lips. Reid looked up from his scrubbing and saw himself in the mirror.

Reid grabbed a bottle of shampoo next to him and threw it into the mirror above the sink.

The mirror shattered into pieces into the sink and onto the floor.

Reid jumped when he heard loud knocking at the lock bathroom door.

"Reid, open the door. Reid! Are you okay?" Morgan's voice yelled outside. Reid collapsed the the floor of the shower and began to sob.

Reid wanted to be the same again, he just didn't know if he could ever be the man who he used to be.

The door flew open to reveal a panting and worried looking Morgan with Rossi behind him.

Rossi saw Reid's shivering form, he quickly ran to the towel rack and pulled a large white towel from it. He rushed over Reid, he quickly got Reid out of the shower and out of the bathroom. He sat Reid on the sofa outside and wrapped the towel around Reid's shivering and cold form. Garcia was also at Reid's side with an armful of blanket. Rossi removed the towel and replaced it with an array of blankets.

"We need to get him out of the wet clothes," Garcia said.

"NO! I'm okay, I-I d-don't wanna c-change," Reid cried through chattering teeth. Morgan appeared in front of Reid and brushed Reid's hair behind his ears.

"Reid, what happened?" Morgan asked.

"I r-remembered w-when the guards t-took me b-behind the g-garden and b-beat me u-up and the b-beginning of J-Jacob. M-Morgan, I d-don't feel clean. I w-want t-to be me again. I w-wish everything w-was back to n-normal, I-I wish t-that I w-was me again," Reid cried. Garcia pulled Reid to her and put her arm around him..

"Reid, with time and support from the us, you will get better. We are here for you and I know that you are strong enough to get through this. Everything will be normal, I promise," Morgan said.


	42. Chapter 42

**The next day**

Reid smiled as he watched Garcia humming and almost dancing as she cooked breakfast in the kitchen. Reid let out a small gentle laugh when Morgan grabbed Garcia's hand and started to dance with her, it made Reid happy to see Garcia looking happy, he hated it when she looked sad. He hated seeing her sad because part of him knew she was sad because of him. Reid looked away from the kitchen to see Gideon walking out of the bathroom.

"Morning G-Gideon," Reid greeted him before giving him a little wave. Gideon gave a small smile before sitting next to Reid on the sofa. Morgan and Garcia stopped dancing when Gideon came into the room. It made Reid a little sad as they stopped.

"How a-are you feeling?" Reid asked Gideon.

"Head still feels like hell but I'm okay, the doctor gave me the all clear to go out of the hospital. How are you feeling?" Gideon asked.

"I-I'm okay, feel a l-little better after t-talking with the t-team. Gideon, I-I need to tell you something a-and I don't want y-you to be angry with me. Rossi asked me i-if I wanted to stay w-with him and I s-said yes. Please d-don't be angry with me," Reid said timidly.

Gideon sat silent for a moment which made Reid feel nervous. Reid was so thankful to Gideon for looking after him, he was thankful to Gideon for coming into his room and calming him after the nightmares had invaded his mind. Things were different now though. The team still harboured great distain for the Gideon, Reid was struggling to balance time with the team and time with Gideon. Reid wanted nothing more than for the team and Gideon to get along.

Reid knew that the chances of that ever happening were slim. Reid had seen how the team and Gideon fought first hand. It scared him when people shouted and argued in front of him.

"Reid, you are in control of your life now. You are in control of your choices and where you go. I will never be angry at you. I know that you are close with team but I want you to know that I will always be there for you whenever you need me. Don't hesistate to call me if something happens and the team can't be there for you. Reid, I don't get along with Rossi but I know that he will look after you, at least I hope he will. Just remember that I'm always here for you," Gideon said.

Reid was slightly shocked that Gideon wasn't angry with him.

"Rossi w-will look a-after me."

"He didn't exactly look after you by putting you in the mental hospital," Gideon snapped, Reid cowered away from Gideon slightly as registered the tone that Gideon had used. Gideon immediately realised what he had done.

"Reid, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap like that," Gideon apologised.

Reid was about to talk when Garcia came over to him and pulled him up by his hand.

"Come on Reid, help me make some breakfast," Garcia giggled before she pulled Reid towards the kitchen. Reid let out a small laugh as he let Garcia lead him into the kitchen.

**Morgan**

Morgan walked out of the kitchen as Reid was pulled into it. Morgan walked over to Gideon as Gideon stood up. Morgan looked back to make sure Garcia was keeping Reid occupied.

Morgan turned back to Gideon, his eyes full of anger and fury.

"What do you want Morgan?" Gideon said coldly.

"Don't talk to Reid if you are going to upset him, don't talk to him if you are going to scare him. I saw the way he cowered away from you when you snapped at him. He doesn't need that right now," Morgan said angrily before he got in Gideon's face.

"I apologised, I didn't mean to snap at him. Who are you kidding Morgan? You won't keep Reid safe, none of the team will keep him safe because you can't. Being an agent beings pain and death, he can't handle going back to that. You and the team are going to push him back into the hell of being an FBI agent. I'm telling you that you and the team are going to get him killed," Gideon said angrily.

"Shut up!" Morgan growled quietly. "It is going to be Reid's choice if he wants to be an FBI agent again. You think he can't handle that, he can handle anything that life throws at him. We will keep Reid safe no matter what happens and I'm telling you right now that if you keep trying to push yourself back into Reid's life, I will push you out."

"Reid wanted me back in his life, he wanted someone he could depend on. He called me after Jacob attacked him in his apartment to come and help him. He is happy when he is with someone that won't put him in danger, he is happy when he isn't around any of you," Gideon argued back quietly.

Morgan pushed Gideon roughly till Gideon could just see inside the kitchen.

Reid and Garcia were danciing together in the kitchen. Reid began to laugh and Garcia also began to laugh with him as they began continued to dance and make breakfast.

"You see that Gideon, he is laughing and having fun with Garcia, he is happy with his best friend Garcy. He is happy and I'm not going to make him unhappy by having you push your way into his life and then leave when things get too bad. I'm warning you right now Gideon, back off and started showing respect to the ones who truly care for Reid."

Morgan walked towards the kitchen leaving Gideon back in the living room. Morgan walked into the kitchen to find Reid being seated at the table by Garcia. Garcia put an array of plates full of breakfast goodies in front of Reid before placing empty plates at the table. Morgan took a seat next to Reid.

"Dig in boys!" Garcia said happily before ruffling Reid's hair slightly. Morgan was happy as he watched Reid pick up some bacon and other breakfast items.

"Garcy, y-you are the b-best cook ever," Reid said with a moutful of food.

"Reid, don't speak with your mouth full," Garcia laughed.

Morgan was happy as they sat down at the breakfast table. He knew that Gideon wasn't going to join them.

Morgan was happy because he could see that Reid was happy, he was happy because he was having breakfast with the girl he would forever love and protect with his life and the man that he would protect because the man was his little brother.


	43. Chapter 43

**The lovely maxandKiz pointed out that you can have short notes at the beginning of a chapter just not author notes as a chapter themselves. So big thank you to MaxandKidz as I can put my notes up again. This is the last chapter of this fanfic. I will be putting up the new story tomorrow. **

**It is going to be called _'Learning to live again'._ It is going to be Reid's recovery story.**

**Thank you everyone for the reviews they are amazing and you are all just fantastic reviewers and readers. **

**Enjoy and please review. All mistakes are my own.**

**The next day**

Reid was sat nervously at the kitchen table, he kept tapping his leg to the floor as he tried to calm himself down. Today was the day that he moved into Rossi's house. Today was the day that he was leaving the cabin and settling into somewhere new. He had only been to Rossi's house a few times and a part of himself felt guilty for staying for Rossi. Reid knew that he should be able to take care of himself.

He couldn't bear going to back to his apartment, he knew the second that he entered his apartment the memories would come rushing back and the small wall he had began to put up against the memories would come crashing down. Rossi kept telling him that he was no imposing or being a hassle by staying with him. Reid smiled slightly as Reid remembered what Rossi had said to him.

_'Family looks after family.'_

Reid jumped slightly as Rossi entered the room but relaxed after a few seconds. Rossi and Morgan were the only ones with him in the cabin, the rest of the team had been called to work a case, even Garcia had been called into the office. Reid had hoped that Garcia had been able to stay. She was always the one that calmed him down.

He also knew that he couldn't keep depending on the team. They all had their lives to live and their careers to focus on, he didn't want to keep holding them back.

"Hey Reid, are you ready to go?" Rossi asked as he placed a large bag full of Reid's belongings on the table.

"I th-think so, I'm just r-really scared about going out i-into the world again. I'm j-just a bit nervous," Reid said to Rossi. Rossi walked to Reid and put his hand on his shoulder.

"Don't be scared, my house has a state of the art security system and surveillance so you will be safe. You don't need to be scared anymore. You can stay at my home for as long as you need, you have been through so much and all I want you to focus on now is getting better," Rossi smiled gently. Rossi could tell that Reid was upset about something and deep down he already knew why Reid seemed upset.

"Reid, is everything okay? You look upset," Rossi asked.

"G-Gideon ignored me when I tried t-to say goobye to h-him, he barely e-even registered I-I was there. He i-isn't here to say goodbye. I t-thought that he wasn't angry at me for staying w-with you but I g-guess he is. I didn't mean t-to make him angry," Reid said quietly. Rossi let out a little sigh before he began to talk.

"Reid, don't worry about Gideon. Things are strained with the team and I think that he was just trying to process a few things, I think he was trying to process you being away. Just ignore him for now. I know from experience that old men are grumpy men half the time. Now, let's get on the road and get a start on you getting better."

Reid took a deep breath before nodde and got to his feet. Rossi picked up the bag off the table and flung it over his shoulder. Reid took one glance back at the cabin. He had felt safe at the cabin for a time but after Jacob's attack that feeling slowly disappeared. He would miss staying at the cabin though, he had some nice memories of his stay.

The best one only happened a day ago.

The best memory he had was when he had been dancing with Garcia in the kitchen, he had not laughed the way he had then in a very long time.

Rossi guided Reid to the car and put him into the car. Rossi walked away from Reid at the passenger door and placed the bag into the trunk of the car.

A few minutes later the two men were on their way to Rossi's home. Reid stared out of the window as Rossi continued to drive.

A ringing noise filled the car, it tooks Reid a few moments to realise that it was Rossi's cellphone. Reid picked it up from the dashboard holder it was in, he looked at Rossi for permission to answer. Rossi nodded, Reid flipped up the phone and pressed the answer button.

"H-Hello," Reid said, his voice shaking slightly.

"Hey kid, just the man that I wanted to talk to," Morgan voice said down the phone. Reid instantly relaxed when he heard Morgan's voice.

"H-Hey M-Morgan, is e-everything okay?"

"Everything is fine, I just want to make sure that everything was going okay. I know that you were nervous about today."

"I'm fine, Rossi c-calmed me down w-when I was scared. How is the case going?" Reid asked.

"It's going fine, the team misses having you around. I just wanted to let you know that you can call me whenever you need help. If you ever have trouble with the nightmares, I'm just a phone call away. I'm here for you when you need someone to talk to about certain things, things that only we can truly understand."

"I p-promise I will call y-you if I have a-any trouble with that. Is G-Garcy okay? She seemed a little d-down when she h-had to leave for the B-BAU."

"She just misses looking after her junior g-man, this case is proabably going to take a few days and she is at the BAU. You could visit her if you wanted."

Reid pondered the thought of a visite to BAU, he decided that a visit would be okay as long as he got to see Garcy again.

"I-I think t-that I will do t-that," Reid said down the phone.

"Reid, I have to go and interview a witness. Call me if you need anything or you need to talk. Promise me that you will call if anything happens," Morgan said, his voice full of big brother authority.

"I p-promise. Bye Morgan."

"Bye Kid," Morgan said down the phone. Reid closed the phone and put it back in the dashboard holder.

"Everything okay Reid," Rossi asked.

"E-Everything is fine, I-I think that things a-are going to be a l-lot better now."

Rossi smiled slightly as he heard Reid's words.

Rossi knew that Reid was starting to think positively again and he was glad that Reid was. He also knew that Reid still had a long road of recovery in front of him.

The team would be there with him every step of way. They would guide Reid back to a good place and they would keep him there. They would keep him safe no matter what.

** Please review**


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